What If
by lionesseshuntbetterinpacks
Summary: What if Katniss and Peeta made a big mistake that changed the coarse of future for Panem. What if Katniss realizes she loves Peeta, but it's too late. What if... (Summary sucks, but this is Catching Fire and Mockingjay with a few major twists and turns. Please give it a chance.)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I'm running out of ideas for my other story Survival of the Fittest, so can someone give me some ideas? That'd be great. Anyway, this is basically Catching Fire and Mockingjay in my version of it, so there will be some of the stuff from the books and some things I've added in. Anyway tell me what you think! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games **

**Katniss' POV**

"...Thank you for the bread. It really meant a lot to me. I'm so sorry about Rue. I tried to save her, but I couldn't and I'm so sorry about it. I'm in servire debt to all of you guys now. You have one less hand to help with harvest, but Peeta and I both agreed that Rue and Thresh's family will get half of our food portions a year so they won't starve." I let the tears roll down my eyes, I don't care if I look weak, I don't need to look strong at this moment. "And for Thresh, I don't even think we had a conversation together except for that one time where he saved my life." I pause my speech and look down at Rue's family. One of the older girls is an exact replica of Rue. I can see tear stains on her cheeks and some more making their way down her face again. Her brown eyes sparkle from the tears streaming down her face. I can't help but to feel guilty because in a way, I killed her sister.

Before I can continue my speech, I see an older man who gives me the three finger salute, the same salute that I gave to them right after I covered Rue in the wildflowers. It's an old gesture we use back home in 12, meaning saying 'goodbye' to someone you love or 'we respect you.' Soon, more and more people follow this gesture and pretty soon, everyone was giving us the salute. The peace keepers didn't hesitate to start firing their guns. A few people were shot and probably injured and several more innocent people were shot down dead. The peace keepers brought the man who started the salute to the steps leading up to the stage. Peeta and I look at each other in terror. Both of us frozen in terror not knowing what to do.

One of the peace keepers shots the man in the back of the head, I try to rush to his side and attempt to save him, even though I know I would fail. But before I can get to his aid, two peace keepers are suddenly at my side and restrain me, I'm pushed back into their Justice Building and the doors shut and lock. I can't see what's happening, but I'm still screaming. I look over at Peeta and he is just as traumatized as I am.

"What happened Haymitch?" I ask. I can feel the tears coming heavier. Several people just died today because of me and that's very hard to live with.

"You made that same gesture in the arena, and now the people followed you and President Snow doesn't like that Sweetheart!" Haymitch yells. I can smell the alcohol in his voice. He promised us he would stay sober for this trip. But then again, Haymitch doesn't keep promises normally.

Before I can respond, Haymitch grabs my wrist and motions for Peeta to follow. The Justice Building here in District 12 is a lot nicer than the one back in District 12. The glass is stained glass with pictures on them and the ceilings are high. Haymitch leads us down staircase after staircase, some of the doors he opened had to be forced, I wonder when the last time some of these doors were opened. There were cob webs in almost every corner. Finally Haymitch leads us in a small room that smelled of must and mold. It didn't even smell this bad in my old house in the Seam. Haymitch turns on a lantern he brought with him.

"Listen Katniss, you have to prove your love for Peeta. You and I both know he will go through with what he already discussed with you."

"Discussed what Haymitch" Peeta asks. "Is there something you're not telling me?" Oh that's right, I forgot to tell him about Snow's threats, well more like chose not to tell him.

I look at Haymitch and Haymitch looks at me, Haymitch holds his hands up in defense, "You're on your own Sweetheart. This is your business not mine."

I give Haymitch the evil eye for putting me in this situation, "Well Katniss, I'm waiting." Peeta says, I can tell Peeta is pissed at Haymitch and I, especially me. To soon know that the love of your life has to pretend to love you in order to save her family and her friend who is also a guy who loves her.

"One day after I came home from hunting in the woods, President Snow made a surprise visit, and he told me that some of the Districts think I faked my love for in the arena for survival and some of the Districts think that this was an act of rebellion. He told me that I'm walking a thin line and if I don't prove my love during this victory tour, he'll blow up the mines, make sure Prim gets reaped, and hurt everyone we both love, including your family." I say, the day that President Snow came, I can remember as if it was yesterday.

_The summer air was turning into the brisk fall air, it's mid September and the air already gets cold here in District 12. The winnings I receive monthly for being a Victor can easily feed my mom, Prim, and I and several other families for a solid six months. I often run extra food to families in the Seam who really need it. I've always hated to see young kids come to my mom because of how starving they were. I've offered some of my winnings to Gale and his family, but he refuses to take it. Since he's turned 18, he goes to work in the mines and works 12 hours a day for six days a week. I normally run the trap routes and drop off the findings to Hazel before Gale gets home. _

_I finish early today and don't really feel like going home this early. When you're a victor, you normally drop out of school. Going to school is a privileged honor and I'm supported financially for the rest of my life. Victors are supposed to come up with a new hobby. Haymitch's was teaching at first, Peeta's is to draw and paint, and mine is hunting, but I can't really tell people that. So Cinna and I discussed that he would help me design the dresses I'm wearing on the Victory Tour. _

_I catch an extra rabbit and walk to the cabin my dad showed me when I was younger. It's not very big, but it's nice and cozy in there. I roast the rabbit and take a short nap. I slept longer than I intended too, when I wake up, I knew it was going to be dark soon. Even though I know these woods with my eyes closed, it's not a good idea to be out here after dark especially with wild rabid animals wondering around. _

_I look quickly before crawling under the fence back in the District boundaries. I run the rest of the way home not wanting to worry Prim and Mom to death. I walk up onto the porch reaching for the door handle to open the door, but my mom beats me to it. "Katniss, just in time for dinner." My mom says and fakes her smile. I'm not on time for dinner, I'm really late for dinner. What;s going on?_

_I walk deeper into the house knowing something is wrong, as I turn the corner I see a peace keeper stare right at me. Great, I've been caught hunting. This is it for me. Snow is already pissed off at me, and now he'll make my death as long and painful as possible and tell the Districts my death was an accident even if what I did was punishable by death. The peace keeper grabs my hand and leads me to the study, I can smell the stench of roses and blood which makes me want to throw up. Snow has to be here. _

_"Well, hello Ms. Everdeen. How's my favorite victor?" President Snow says, I can see the a smile tug at his face. He sits behind the mahogany desk and motions for me to sit in the other chair. "Go on, I can handle her from here." Snow says to the peace keeper giving him the signal to leave us alone. _

_"Why are you here?" I snap, I don't care who he is, he doesn't belong in my house. I'm not in the mood for him. _

_"Why are you saying I can't visit my favorite victor?" He's lying, he absolutely hates me. I see a sly smile on his face, I know he has something up his sleeve. "I see how some of the Districts didn't fall for your act. I must say though it was very clever of you. And the berry stunt was a classic, certainly going down in the history books." You're damn right it will go down in the history books, 'Katniss Everdeen, co-Victor of the 74 annual Hunger Games, the Girl who was on Fire, and the girl who killed President Snow.'_

_He's talking about the love act Peeta and I played, but Peeta actually does love me. Two can play this game, "I see you keep sending innocent kids to participate in the Hunger Games." _

_"You're not in the range to be making remarks like those Ms. Everdeen. I don't like seeing you as much as you don't like seeing me. And we can minimize the time we spend together if we agree not to lie to each other." I nod in agreement. "Good. You know I can kill you right now, but that would only fuel the rebel's fire. I could kill you in your sleep, induce a heart attack. No, no one would buy that. But killing off someone you love might be able for you to gain control over the rebels." _

_He's right, I'm in no position to be making the calls. "What do you want me to do about them?" I say trying to sound not concerned about it._

_"Many people think when you pulled the berries thought it was an act for rebellion. Make the districts believe you did this out of love, and I can always somehow make the mines magically explode, or Prim get reaped. And I'm sure Peeta wouldn't want his family to die from an oven fire. You may go now Ms. Everdeen and see you in the Capitol."_

_I get up to exit the room, "Oh, hunting in the woods with your friend on Sunday's isn't helping your case at all. Especially when you two kiss." President Snow says as I was leaving. How did he know about Gale and I hunting in the woods? We always cover up our tracks. And no one from the Hob would tell because we could tell right on them as well. And the kiss? It was a one time thing. And I can kiss who I want. It's my life not his. But as Snow said earlier, I'm not the one in the position to be making the calls. _

"And how do you think we can stop all of this from happening?" I ask, I cannot afford for anyone to get hurt or killed under my watch. I cannot handle it physically or mentally.

"Marriage. Prove your love through marriage. And Peeta, you propose to her in the Capitol, if the Capitol citizens are happy, it puts Snow in a better mode." Haymitch says. Marriage? What if marriage isn't enough? Will we have to have kids to prove it?

"Whatever. Well, thanks for telling me." Peeta mumbles and walks away. He opens the door but waits to exit, "Oh, next time, I think I should be included with all of this news, it's my life were talking about as well." He says and slams the door.

"What's his problem. I thought he wanted this?" I snap at Haymitch.

"He does, but he wanted it to be real! Not where he's happy and you fake the marriage. You could do a lot worse than him though. " Haymitch snaps right back at me and walks after Peeta. "And keep in mind, that you could live a thousand lives and still never deserve him."

I don't follow Haymitch. I think instead. How can I prove my love to the Districts? I hold his hand and kiss him often, but what more do they want? I'm already being

I look back at Haymitch wondering what to do now. I know I could never deserve Peeta. He's cute, charming, sweet, unselfish and polite. And then, well there's me. Who's the total opposite of him. How could he love me? I'm just some girl who is using him right now. He could love someone who deserves him and they're not that many.

I take a deep breath and exit the room. I really start to think about what Haymitch said to me about not deserving him and how I could do a lot worse. I begin the walk back up to the main floor. I walk up the last flight of stairs and see Effie. "Oh, there you are Deary, I was getting quite worried. We must get on the train right now if we don't we'll be very behind schedule." Effie says in her high pitch voice. I envy her right now, not for looks but because her life isn't at steak nor her families not a worry in the world.

* * *

We've been traveling for a few hours now. Peeta and I both locked ourselves in our rooms and both got messages from the avoxs telling us it's dinner time. I ignore the note for about fifteen minutes, but end up going to dinner because I'm hungry.

"Oh Katniss, it's nice of you to join us." Effie says, I fake a smile at her.

"Whats our plan for tomorrow?" I ask cheerfully changing the subject. I look over at Peeta who is just picking at his food with his fork and not looking up at either of us. I can tell he's still hurt from Haymitch and I keeping that secret from him.

"Well, we if we arrive on time, we'll do your speeches and then the party." Effie says other things but I'm too busy watching Peeta. After dinner is over Peeta rushes back to his room.

"You've really messed him up Sweetheart." Haymitch says and takes another sip of his beer.

I give him the evil eye again and walk back into my room. I sit on the bed closing my eyes and lay down. I've ridden on these trains enough to know that they're bugged. Maybe they even have cameras. What better way to show my love for Peeta if I'm caught sneaking into this room after curfew?

I get the courage to walk out of my room and into Peeta's. I know he never keeps his door locked because he normally wanders the hallways at night when he can't sleep. I wonder how bad his nightmares are. I'm sure he has them, almost every victor does. Even though we've survived the arena, we never really leave it because it will always be with us in our heads when we have nightmares and our scars that remind us of the Games and what we went through to get out alive. I want to tell him how much I really have missed him since we've gotten back from the Games but with how I've been acting towards him, that really wouldn't be fair.

I open the door to find him pacing his room, I don't think he even sees me until I close the door and it makes a click sound. His room is just like mine, a king sized bed, a dresser, TV, couch, attached bathroom, and a desk.

"Hey." I say.

Peeta walks over to me, and puts his hands on my shoulders, "Are you okay Katniss? Did you have another nightmare?" He asks, I can look in his crystal blue eyes and tell he has forgiven me for what I've done to him for the past few months, (which was ignoring him) and not telling him about Snow's threat.

"No, I was just wondering if I could sleep here. It's lonely in a bed this big." I say. I can see his eyes light up when I say this.

"Of coarse you can Katniss." He says and leads me over to his bed. I lay down and Peeta lays next to me not knowing how close he should be to me. I snuggle up close to him. At first he is a little stunned at how close I am but he wraps his arms around me. I can help but feel safe in his strong muscular arms.

"Peeta, how come you roam the hallways at night? Is it because of your nightmares?" I ask him and turn so I face him. This question stuns him a little.

"My nightmares are normally about losing you. And when I roam the hallways, I know I can protect you if something should happen." I immanently feel guilty. Instead of sleeping, he roams the hallways making sure I'm safe? And here I am ignoring him for the past few months and he still puts me before himself.

"Well, I'll be safe tonight. After all, you're the one who's protecting me." I whisper and give him a kiss. At first he hesitates to kiss me back, we've kissed hundreds of times, but this is the first one we've shared alone and the first one I started. He deepens the kiss, before I pull away for a breath.

"You may not love me the way I love you Katniss, but I'll always love you and I'll always be here for you, I promise. No matter what, I'll always be here for you. Even though we're going to get married for show and to please the Districts and Snow, we can work something out so you can be with Gale if you want. But you may not love me the same way I love you but can we at least be friends?" He asks, I don't know how I feel about Gale, I love him like a brother, and Peeta, well I'm not sure how I love Peeta yet. I'm just confused on this entire thing. I'm being forced and rushed into it. I don't think Peeta and I have been on a real date.

"I thought we already were." I say and kiss him again. We share a few more kisses that night before we both drift off to sleep.

_I'm running through the woods, at first it's Prim I see, "Prim!" I shout, "Watch out for the bombs!" I run to push her out of the way. But I'm too late, the bombs blow up and blow her into pieces. I keep running through the woods and soon realized I'm being chased by mutts. Not just any mutts, but the mutts who have the tribute's eyes, Peeta's right beside me, "Katniss, keep running no matter what." I hear him say and purposely trips himself so I can be saved from the mutts and the horrid death._

**"**Peeta, Peeta, please don't!" I' screaming and thrashing and I feel Peeta trying to wake me up. I fling open my eyes and see Peeta's eyes lingering above me. I reach my arm up and cup his jaw in my hand. "You're alive?" I ask, I can't tell if what happened was just a dream or real. I'm hoping just a dream.

"Yes Katniss. I'm here, I'm alive, it's me, Peeta." He says. I keep sobbing not knowing what to say, "You died." I blurt out. He looks over at me in confusion "In my dream, you tripped yourself so the mutts would kill and eat you and not me." I say, still sobbing.

"Oh Katniss. I'm sorry, I had no idea." He pulls his strong and muscular arms around me and hugs me tight. This feels so right, him comforting me after my nightmare. "I love you Peeta." I say and he pulls me even closer to him. He doesn't make a big deal about me saying this, but I can only imagine him melting inside.

There's a knock on the door and one of the avox's hands us a _not__e,_

_You two okay in there? I've heard a lot of terrifying screams. -Haymitch._

Peeta writes a note and gives it back to the avox to give to Haymitch. "Do you want to try and get some more sleep?" Peeta asks, and I nod and fall into a deep sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Keep up all of the feedback guys (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games**

**Katniss' POV**

I scrunch my eyes trying to adjust to the sunlight beaming in the room from the curtains. I look on my other side and see Peeta not there. Normally this would concern me, but I'm sure he's just at breakfast. Judging by the sunlight, I think it's about 9 a.m. I may have had a nightmare last night, but I haven't slept this good in a long time.

I decided that I wanted some breakfast so I walk to the dining car, normally I would try to make myself look presentable, but having nightmares really do affect the way you look in the morning. I use to think Haymitch was crazy sleeping with a knife and with lights one, but after you've been in the arena yourself, you wouldn't understand, but I have no one to impress anyways. But I guess I need to impress Peeta. Peeta will love me no matter how I look you can prove that by looking at some pictures of me when I was going through the hairy stage as a young girl.

I walk into the dining car and all the attention is set on me. Haymitch looks up from his drink (yes he even drinks alcohol at breakfast) and smiling at me. "What?" I ask, I don't really know why everyone is staring. I can't look that ugly. There's uglier people in this world, I mean look at some of the people from the Capitol.

"You snuck into Peeta's room last night." Haymitch says in a teasing voice. Both Peeta and I can't help but to blush, I gave him a retarded smile.

"So?" I say sitting down next to Peeta still with a smile over my face and I'm sure my checks bright red.

"It's all over the news in the capitol." Haymitch says, and continues to eat his sausage.

"Wow, news on the Star Crossed Lovers must travel really fast." I say and put an end to the conversation. Peeta leans over and whispers into my ear, "I have something to show you after breakfast." I nod in agreement wondering what Peeta would be showing me.

As we leave the diner cart, Effie reminds us that we will arrive in District 10 at about 1:30, and we needed to start getting ready at 12. So that gave Peeta and I a few hours alone together.

We travel to the last of the carts and he opens up a door. The room isn't very big, but it houses a ton of paintings, I wonder if these are all Peeta's? Did Peeta really draw all of these? They look so real. Some of them are rather disturbing. Like at the finale at the Cornucopia where the mutts are destroying Cato, Rue covered in the wildflowers during her death, all of us and the tributes waiting for the gong to sound, and several other images I often revisit in my nightmares. I hate them, but they're all so real looking.

"What do you think?" Peeta asks standing in the doorway while I'm in the middle of the room looking at painting after painting. I guess this is the talent Peeta picked up after the Games.

"I hate them." I say plainly. And turn to look at Peeta. "I mean, they're really good and so real looking but, it just brings me back to the Games. What gives you the ideas to paint them?" I ask.

I'm about to walk out, but I see a painting that catches my eye. I walk over to it and look at it. It takes a minute for the painting to sink in. _It's me, the painting is of me when Cato was strangling me._

"They're my dreams. What I see in my dreams." Peeta says. "I guess it helps if I paint because then I know that it was in a dream and it's now in the past." Peeta explains, so he dreams about me. When he told me the reason why he walks the hallways at night was to protect me, I never really took him seriously for it. But after seeing these paintings, I can understand why.

"You dream about me?" I ask, I already know the answer to that, but I can't help but asking.

"I dream about losing you. About Cato actually killing you. And the mutts. When I wake up from a nightmare I have a hard time telling if it was real or not, so I walk the hallways by your room just to make sure you're okay. When we were back home, I would do the same thing, I would walk outside your door." Peeta says, I feel a tear slip down my check. I don't even bother to wipe it away. I pull him into a tight embrace. "I love you Peeta. And I'm so sorry how poorly I've treated you since we've been home from the Games. I was-am just really confused about everything." I say and smile. He kisses my lips, and I deepen the kiss. I feel a fire inside of my stomach, I'm not sure what it means. I've never felt it before.

Peeta is the first to pull away, "Lets go to another part of the train." He says and I agree. We walk until we bump into our prep teams in the hallway, apparently they have been looking everywhere for us and were starting to become concerned.

I'm sat down in my room that they have magically transformed into a makeshift beauty studio. Like normal, I'm hosed down, almost every hair is plucked off of my body, (according to Octavia, my hair grows very fast for a girl of my age.) Cinna gave them special orders not to put any makeup on me yet.

"I don't know why Cinna didn't want us to put any makeup on you yet, you could really use it." Octavia says and the rest of my prep team leave to fetch Cinna and tell him I'm ready. I don't take any offense to Octavia's comment, mainly because I guess because it's true.

I lay on the table they laid out for me only a blanket covering me, I wonder if I've convinced President Snow and the Districts yet. _I don't know how I could, I mean we kiss, sometimes I even start the kiss, we tell each other we love one another, we're soon to be engaged. What if he wants us to have kids? I don't even want to get married and now we might even have to have kids? And without a doubt whatever kids we do have will most likely die young because right as they turn 12, they're names will be in the reaping bowl awaiting their death. And I cannot have that happen. _

I don't even notice Cinna walk into my room until he says something. "Well Katniss, today is going to be a little different with your clothing and the makeup." Cinna says. When he says this I hope it isn't a dress, but it probably wouldn't be appropriate to wear my hunting gear to one of the stops of the Victory Tour in honor of Peeta and I.

Although the other members of my prep team left me with no makeup on, Cinna outlines my eyes with black eyeliner and a little mascara along with a hint of gray eye shadow. The dress he has me wearing is like a gray and blue ombre dress that hugs my skinny figure and shows off my curves and goes all the way down to my ankles. They're mockingjay colors.

"What do you think?" Cinna asks as he straightens the final piece of my hair.

"Not going to lie." I say, "This is probably my favorite dresses."

"I'm glad you like it." Cinna says as he sprays some hair spray in my hair, Cinna told me they use that stuff in the Capitol to keep their hair styled the same way for long periods of time. "Ombre is the new fashion in the capitol." At first I didn't know what an ombre was, but Cinna told me it's when one color collides with another matching color.

Cinna escorts me to the dining car where Peeta already awaits, Effie is next to him giving out the instructions for tonight. Even though I don't listen to them and I'm sure Peeta doesn't really care, she insists on telling us proper manners. Peeta is dressed in a gray tux similar to the color of mine just not an ombre. "Make sure to smile. Especially you Katniss. You didn't look very happy in District 11." Effie says and looks at me.

_Of coarse I didn't smile, I wan't happy, Thresh saved my life and ended up dying and Rue died right in my arms. I couldn't stop thinking about Snow's threat. And how am I to prove my love to Peeta when I don't even know how I feel about him. _

I ignore Effie's comment and continue to listen. I zone out and don't really pick up exactly what she wants us to do, but I'm sure it's look happy and smile. Or somewhere along the line.

Effie ushers us to the entrance of the train, "Chins up, smiles on." She reminds us in her high pitch cheerful voice. I grab Peeta's hand and prepare for the cameras and all of the press. The door opens and I'm immanently blinded by all of the light bulbs going off. "Katniss!" I look in one direction. "Katniss over here!" Another voice says, there is a lot more press than in District 11. "Katniss, are you and Peeta thinking about starting a family soon?" Another asks. _kids? Really kids? I'm not even a legal adult yet, I'm 17. _

I ignore most of the comments and Effie escorts Peeta and I to the stage. "Don't worry, I hate this as much as you do." Peeta says and squeezes my hand. The crowd has turned their attention to the stage where Peeta and I stand.

We start our speeches, I'm pretty sure bot of their tributes died in the blood bath or around that time frame. At least I didn't know them. It's going to be hard when we visit District 1 and 2 were I had parts in all four deaths. Peeta and I don't really say much but how sorry we are about their losses to their families.

At each District, you say a victory speech and then you and the most important people of that district are invited to a ball. Peeta and I dance together most of the night, where ever he goes, I follow. I never let him leave my side, it's almost like if I do, he'll be gone forever.

When we're on the dance floor, many people want to take pictures with me. I don't mind, but after a while it gets annoying. "Do we really have to do this 10 more times?" I ask Peeta and rest my head on his shoulder. We're dancing to an favorite song of North America's, it's really slow and used a lot during sad moments.

"Yeah, but I'll be with you this whole time." He says, I look up and give him a long and passionate kiss. "We could sneak out you know, I don't think many people would notice."

"Let's do it." I say. "Anything to get out of here." We walk over to the nearest door and stand by there for a few minutes so we don't attract too much attention. We slide out the door and walk until we find our train. "I think this is." I say and open the train door.

We walk to our rooms, "I'll come to your room after I shower." I say and give him another kiss and leave.

I turn the shower on blazing hot. One of the best things about being rich and a victor now is the privilege to showers. In showers is where I do all of my thinking now. And tonight is no different. _Do I really love Peeta? _I don't know. I need to if I want to save Prim and Gale and my mother. I have a capitol shower at home, but I still don't have a clue what all of the buttons do.

I rinse my hair out and step out of the shower. I decide just to grab a shirt and pajama shorts. I make my way to Peeta's room. I open the door and see Peeta watching the rerun of our Victory Tour stop. "Hey." Peeta says and walks over to hug me. "I was just watching the rerun. You looked amazing." He says.

I always blush every time he compliments me. "You didn't look too shabby yourself." I say. Peeta leads me over to the bed and we both lie down. He wraps his arms around me and I rest my head on his chest. I can hear his heart beat loud and clear. I remember in the arena this is what calmed me down a lot.

We continue watching the recap when Effie walks in. "Oh my!" She squeals at the site of Peeta and I cuddling. "I don't mean to interupt, but we were worried about you two. We couldn't find you after the ball."

"We just left a few minutes early to beat the rush when it was over." Peeta says making it up. We left because we wanted to get away from all of those people and to be alone.

With that Effie leaves. I lean up to kiss him, "Thank you." I whisper. Peeta seems confused.

"Thank you for what?" He asks.

"For always being there for me, no mater how poorly I treated you." I say.

"Well no problem I guess." He says and chuckles. He kisses me again. I feel that same fire again that I felt earlier, and it makes me hungrier for me. I roll Peeta on top of me and continue kissing. I give a tug on his shirt signalling I want it off. He responds and throws it on the ground. Soon to follow are my clothes and the rest of his are as well.

We made love to each other several times that night.

* * *

When I wake up in the morning, I find myself naked in bed with Peeta and I recall the events from last night. I roll over not wanting to get up. "Up, up, up. It's a big, big, day." Effie says, I quickly pull up the covers over my bare chest and hope Effie doesn't notice the clothes all over the room. I'm sure if she notices, knowing that gossip mouth of her's, this news would be all over Panem in a matter of hours.

Effie exits the room after she says that and I'm great full for that. Last thing she needs or wants to see is the both of us in our birthday suits.

"Peeta," I nudge him, "Peeta, up, up, up, we got a big, big day." I say mocking Effie.

* * *

The rest of our Victory Tour has gone by rather slowly. The worst District we had to visit was District 1 and 2. Because in a way, I helped kill all four of those tributes. Glimmer, I dropped a tracker jacker nest on her, Marvel, I shot him with a bow and arrow, Clove, I was right there, and Cato, that was in the finale and I killed him to help put him out of misery faster. I saw all of their families eyes give me looks. Some was with sorrow and pain and others with hatred.

Tonight was our last stop before our huge party back home in District 12. Whenever I look at Peeta, I always think about the night after the party in District 10 and how perfect it was.

For the Capitol Ball, you always see victors decked out. And this year is no different. I'm wearing a low v-neck dress that covers just enough skin to keep my breast covered, the dress goes down to my ankles, but after mid-thigh, it's a net showing off my legs. My makeup is very well defined, I have tons of eyeliner on, bright red eye shadow and some mascara. But at the ends of the eye shadow, it curves up into mockingjay wings. And Peeta is wearing an all black tuxedo.

We have reporters taking our pictures,I feel hands touch me, I guess it's cool to touch a real live victor of The Hunger Games. An example of a person who beat the odds of dying. It makes me feel uncomfortable with all of that and there is even more pictures. But like Peeta said earlier, he was right by my side the whole time.

Girls from the crowd gushed at Peeta and how cute he looked. Before the official start of the ball, we do an interview with Ceaser Flickerman. I sit next to Peeta on the love seat they provided for us and across from us is Ceaser. Instead of his hair being blue like last year, it's a pinkish redish wig. And he even changed his lipstick color I think.

"How does it feel to be back in the Capitol?" Ceaser asks us, "Well, it's nice to know we're here not because we're about to die." I say and it's true, and the crowd bursts out laughing. No wonder why they can't see through Snow, they're so gullible.

"Yeah, that would always be reassuring." Ceaser says with a laugh.

"Now Peeta, how does it feel to be with the love of your life?" Ceaser asks,

"Now that you mention it," Peeta says and gets down on one knee. "Katniss, I've loved you since I set my eyes on you when we were six. You're the most beautiful woman who has ever lived. You may not think you are, but you are. The way you took responsibility for Prim after your father died, was incredible For most people, the Hunger Games tears people apart and their families, but for us, it brought us closer together. Literally. But Katniss, will you marry me?" Peeta asks. Even though this marriage is fake, I can't help but to cry some.

"Of coarse." I say through tears. I was actually crying over a fake engagement and soon to be marriage.

"And one more question," Cearser says, "Will there be any mini Mellarks anytime soon?"

Both Peeta and I can't help but to chuckle a bit, "We're still both 17, just kids. It would hard to raise a kid when you're just a kid yourself. But we will I'm sure whenever we're meant to have kids, we will." Peeta says.

Snow personally comes up to the stage and congratulates us with our engagement. We mouth a conversation to each other. "Did I fail?" I mouth, he gives me the nod of the head. I freeze in terror, Prim, who only just turned 13 will be killed. And Gale. And his siblings little Possy is only five. But if President Snow wants me to be broken right now, then I'll have to be whole.

Peeta and I dance and take pictures with people. Some people touch us inappropriately making us feel uncomfortable, but Effie says we must let them do that. It's 'good manners' in the Capitol while in District 12, it's a form of rape, sort of.

"I love you Peeta." I say, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. A tall plump man who looks like he hasn't shaved in a while is right behind me. He isn't dressed up ridiculously like some people here are. Which makes me want to trust him more.

"May I?" He asks and bows down.

I look over at Peeta and he nods at me "Um, I guess." I say and we begin to dance. He puts his hands on my hips and I put my hands on his shoulders, it feels really awkward for these arms' not to be Peeta's.

"I'm Plutarch Havensbee." He says, "I'm the new Head Gamemaker for this year's Games."

"Oh, it's nice to meet you." I say trying to sound convincing because one, I really don't care and two, how could you create something that would be death of a lot of other people? I notice him look down at his watch, and in the middle of it is a mockingjay. "I like your watch." I say trying to start up a conversation.

"Thank you, it's one of a kind. I must go though, I have a meeting for the Arena for this year's Quell. It starts at midnight." He says.

"Midnight? Isn't that a little late for a meeting? The Games are nine months away." I say questioning him.

"It's supposed to be a secret, so don't tell anyone. But just remember, it starts at midnight." He says and gives me a kiss on my cheek and runs off into the crowd of Capitol people.

I struggle to find Peeta, but immanently feel stupid when I realized he was with bakers from the Capitol. When I walk up to him, him and a few other bakers are in a deep conversation about how to mix colors so that the cake looks perfect. I don't really care for the baking part much so I walk up to him and hook his arms with mine.

After the Ball, Effie escorts us to a nearby hospital. "Effie why do we need to go here? Peeta or I are sick nor injured." I questioned.

"All the victors must come. Just to make sure your wounds are healing up nicely." She says, I still don't buy that.

* * *

"Right this way Ms. Everdeen." A doctor says and leads me off into the dull white hallways. He leads me into a room and instructs me strip all of my clothes off and lie down on a hospital bed. "The doctor will be right with you Ms. Everdeen." The doctor says and walks off back down the white and dull hallway.

I can't help but wander why I must be here. I don't have much time to think before the new doctor comes in. "Hello Katniss." He says and walks over to shake my hand, "I'm Dr. Kain, and I'll be running a few tests on you and asking you a few questions."

"What kinds of tests?" I ask

"Just some bloodtests. Now, can you remember when you started to have your period?" He asks.

It takes me a minute to think about that, "I started when I was about 11, but I skipped a lot because of malnutrition and when I was in the Capitol rehealing from all in the injuries in the Arena, they gave me medicine and said I might not have my period for another year so the medicine to wear off." I explain. I wonder what they're doing to Peeta.

They take my height and weight and a few blood samples before I'm allowed to get dressed again.

When I'm released, I walk back to the lobby. Effie told me Peeta is already back at the train getting ready for bed. She escorts me back to the train. I walk to my room and take all of the makeup off and walk over to Peeta's room.

"What did they do to you at the doctor's visit?" I ask him when I opened the door.

"They took my height and weight, same as they did to you right?" He asks me.

"No, I had blood tests done, asked me questions on my period, my height and weight. And other stuff around that area." I say.

"Well, I'm sorry you had to go through that then." He says and kisses my forehead.

We get in his bed and he wraps his muscular arms around me.

_I'm walking alone in the woods back home in District 12 I think, but they also look like the arena. It's getting dark and I know that it's not safe to be out here that late and all. I'm walking home but nightfall keeps coming quicker and quicker. I start to run when I see _Rue, "_Run Rue!" I scream, it's almost like it's replaying her death. I sing her to her death and she dies in my arms. _

_I keep moving on, and now it's pitch black outside and I can't see a thing until a see a fire. And a boy with blonde hair, "Peeta?" I yell, I run over to him and he turns into a mutation and..._

"Katniss, Katniss, wake up. It was just a dream. I promise." I'm in Peeta's arms while he's trying to comfort me. I'm sobbing right now. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks and strokes my hair in a gently, carrying way. I shake my head. How could I tell him that he died in my dream?

I don't sleep much the rest of the night, just in and out of it.

* * *

I wake up from the sun beaming through the window. I smile and look over at Peeta knowing I will be waking up to this for the rest of my life. Since we're now engaged, President Snow insisted that 'we move in together' as part of the act. Although he also said it had to be okay with my mother. I actually enjoyed Peeta proposing to me but that thought also brought back bad memories that Snow said I had failed. I wanted to run off the stage and cry my eyes out, but he wants me to be weak, so I'll have to be strong.

When Haymitch, Effie, Peeta and I were eating breakfast, it hasn't hit me that I have no clue how I could explain all of this to Gale. I love Gale, but he's my brother and you can't date or marry your brother. That'd be weird. For the Victory Tour, you visit all of the districts and the Capitol, but your last stop is your home district. And you have a feast for your whole district. For everyone. So no hungry bellies tonight.

Tonight will probably be the first night since Haymitch won all of the people in District will go to bed with a full belly. And every month, for a year, we'll have a feast just like this.

"Katniss? Katniss? Were you listening to me?" Peeta asks. I'm taken out from my thoughts.

"No, sorry. Could you repeat that?" I ask.

"I said when we get home, do you want to start moving your things over to my house." He asks. I look up from eating my pancakes, I look into his ocean blue eyes and how kind and calming they always are.

"Yeah. But we also have to get ready for the Feast tonight." Peeta nods and turns his attention back to his breakfast.

"Well, thank you Effie for everything I guess. I'll miss you." I say trying to keep awkwardness form from this silence.

"You're most welcome Katniss. You and Peeta were the best tributes I've ever had." _Probably because we're the only ones who actually did survive. _"I'll be seeing you again when it comes time for the Quarter Quell announcement." She says. Not only do Peeta and I have to mentor our two new tributes this year, it will be a Quarter Quell, every 25 years, the Capitol adds some sort of sick twist to the Games. The first Quell was the people in your District voted who would be sent, and the second one, the year Haymitch won, they're were 48 tributes instead of the normal 24. I could only imagine what hell it will be this year. To mentor kids and watch them be brutally murdered, I wonder how Haymitch did all of this for 23 years.

"Oh come on you two, we just arrived at the train station." Effie says and ushers us both up. The train doors open reveling our home, District 12. There isn't much cameras flashing, which I'm totally okay with. After a while, the crowd dies down and prepares for tonight's feast. Even though this is District 12, as plain and boring as it can get, Effie is still walking around with a new gittup on. Like today, a bright aqua blue shirt and a white lace shirt under it.

I see Gale in the crowd, I try to smile at him, but he avoids my eye contact once he saw that I saw him and I can't help but to feel guilty. Peeta and I walk back over to my house to gather my things after we leave the crowd.

Peeta and I don't say much on the walk over to the Victor's Village. It's not that long of a walk to there from the train station. Prim and my mother wait in the living room for me. "We were learning about you in school today Katniss." Prim says and gets up to hug me.

"You did?" I ask trying to sound enthusiastic about it. It hurts to think that in just a few short years, she could be dead because of the careless mistake I made.

"Yeah. My teacher even said I am very lucky to have an older sister like you." She said.

I hug her even tighter now and try not to cry. _No, she's unlucky to have a sister like me because she might be dead soon because of me. _

"Katniss, I'll need to talk to you and Peeta alone. Prim why don't you go over to town and pick me up some gauz, I'm almost out." Prim nods her head and takes the money from Mom and walks out the door.

When she is sure Prim is gone, she sets us done to talk to us. "I know you two are getting married and the Capitol wants to throw you two a huge wedding and wants you to move in together. I don't have a problem with that. I want you to be careful. We don't need kids running around here anytime soon." My mom says with a soft yet strict tone.

"I understand Ma'am." Peeta says.

"Do you understand Katniss?" Mom asks.

"Yes Mom I understand." I say giving her one of my annoyed looks.

Peeta and I walk upstairs to gather my things. Before Peeta and I won the Games and I lived in the Seam, I had only a few pairs of clothes. My mom has bought me some more now, but I still maybe have eight or nine different shirts and believe it or not, that's a lot. I also pack my diary, I don't write in it often, but just for safe keeping, a picture of my dad and I the day before he was killed, and a picture of Prim and I she gave me for my 12 birthday.

I put it all in two cardboard boxes. "This is all of your stuff?" Peeta asks in astonishment.

"I had to hunt for my own food, I didn't care what I looked like. I was in survival of the fittest mood." I say in response. Peeta chuckles.

"Should we go over to our house?" He asks, and I love how he said 'our' house.

* * *

Cinna has me dressed in a short black dress with bright red and orange heels, I guess to give me the 'girl on fire' look. My makeup isn't heavily done, Cinna calls it the 'natural look'. Peeta is dressed in a black tux and a red and orange tie to match my dress.

"Well, at least we don't have to speak again tonight." Peeta whispers in my ear and I feel shivers run all the down my spine.

The feast is amazing. It's almost just like the Capitol food, but not as good. It was amazing to hear little kid's voices when they found out they could have more to eat if they wanted too. And the best part is no one will die of starvation tonight.

"Is this Feast almost over?" I ask Peeta while we're dancing to a slow song.

"I hope so because that means its the sooner we can get home." I nod in agreement.

He's right, the party ended a few hours after that conversation. I could barely keep my eyes open. My feet were killing me from the eight inch heels, I have tons of makeup on.

During the party, Hazel slipped me a note telling me that Gale wanted to meet up tomorrow to talk about what's happened the past few months. And I know he'll be talking about the proposal from Peeta. But I'm just not ready for all of this.

I walk into my new home with Peeta and fall into a dreamless sleep with Peeta's arms around me warding off the nightmares. All I could imagine what Gale wanted to talk to me about.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ehhh, this is short, but at least it's something right? Keep up with all of the feedback guys (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games.**

**Katniss' POV**

I sat my alarm extra early for the next morning. During the feast yesterday, Hazel handed me a note from Gale telling me he wanted to meet me in our old meeting spot in the woods. I know it's not safe to go in the woods, I'm not sure how President Snow knew Gale and I hunt illegally, but it makes me worry on what else he could possibly know. No one in the Hob would tell, because we could report each other for also trading illegally. Everywhere in the Victor's homes a bugged, so in a way, the woods are a dangerous place to go, but the safest for talking.

I jolt up when I hear my alarm clock go off. I dismiss it and get dressed in my dad's old hunting gear. His boots are becoming more worn out, even though I can afford to by some, I can't let these go.

The note also said meet him there at sunrise, but because President Snow has his sources, it's safer to leave when it's darker this way I can easily go unknown. I jog out of the Victor's Village and through town. The worse part about living in the Victor's Village is that to get the entrance to the woods, it's all across town and being the Victor of the Games is already has you a celebrity, you get more attention attracted to you than normal. When I get at the fence separating the District and the woods I listen carefully for the buzzing sound for electricity. The fence is supposed to be electric. The Capitol says it's to keep wild and rabid animals out of the District, but we all know it's so we don't go out of the District boundaries and hunt for food. I almost want to think the Capitol wants it's Districts to starve. In the Capitol they eat and then make themselves throw up so they can eat more and here, it's a struggle to find enough food to keep your belly full for one meal.

Nothing. No hum. It's safe to cross. I cross under the hole right under the fence. I still have about an hour before sunrise. So I decide to run the snare trap that Gale normally sets up. Out of ten snares, there are seven rabbits and I manage to shoot down three squirrels. I can see the sun start to rise in the sky above so I run through the woods meeting Gale at our meeting place which is a rock overlooking the vast mountain range. The country here before us, America, called the Appalachian Mountains. But in Panem, we just call them Snow's Mountains. In honor of President Snow. I have no clue what genius thought of that name.

When I arrive at our meeting spot, Gale is already there. "I see you already ran my snare line." Gale says plainly without turning around to look at me.

I take my usual spot next to him. "Yeah. I have the meat if you want it." I say and hand my game bag over to him but he rejects it.. He needs the food, he has his brothers and sister and mom to feed, and me, well, I the Capitol provides my meals. "Come on Gale. You know my family doesn't need this. We have enough food." I say.

But Gale just shakes his head. "Why don't you just give it to Baker Boy. That's my wedding gift to you Katniss." He says. I can hear the hurt in his voice about Peeta and I. But I only feel symphony for him for a minute.

_Did he really only want to meet me here to talk about my marriage with Peeta? "_Did you only want to meet me here to talk about Peeta?" I ask, because if he did, that's really unfair to me.

"Yeah. Why didn't we run off the morning of Reaping Day? We could be thriving on our own without the Capitol's rules!" He yells in a whisper voice.

The sun is almost up all of the way, it's not as dark as it was this morning and I can see Gale's facial expressions. "Who would have volunteered for Prim? Prim probably would be dead right now. Peeta probably would be dead. I wake up screaming every night from nightmares from the Arena. And normally when you comfort someone about nightmares you say 'it's only a dream. It never happened.' Well, for me, mine did happen. Rue died right in my arms. Cato in pain and being eaten by the mutts. You didn't survive the Games Gale or go through them. And even when you do leave the arena, you never leave the arena because of your mental state. Sleeping with the lights on, crying, sleeping with a knife, getting drunk. Anything to make you forget about the time in there" I'm practically yelling right now. I admit I probably did over react to it, I've been really moody lately. But I couldn't help it. He also knows that yelling in the woods would attract unwanted attention later on.

I don't care. I've been so moody lately. I grab my game bag and leave Gale over there on the rock. I trek my way back to the fence. I listen for the hmm of the fence and carelessly make my way back into the District, not paying attention to my surroundings.. I didn't really think my yelling would have been the cause of what happened next.

Three peace keepers spot me from coming under the fence. By now, it's probably around 10 a.m. I stand stick still by a tree hoping they don't see me. Because if they do, I'm dead meat. I see one of the peace keepers point at me. _Great, I've been caught. I'm going to die. I bet President Snow had this specially planed out. _

_"_Hold up ma'am." One of the peacekeepers says and all three of them run over to me. I don't know why, but I freeze up unable to run to find cover. Two of the peace keepers hold my arms, I struggle to break free, but their grip on me is too strong. The other peace keeper looks through my game bag and finds all of the dead rabbits and squirrels.

"I have the perfect punishment for her." The peace keeper says to the other two. I'm being dragged into the Town Square against my will. It's been years since a thing like this has happened in District 12. I'm tied to a pole, they rip off my shirt so I'm only in my bra. My hands are are tied as well so I can't escape.

One of the peace keepers calls the attention to the people who happen to be in town. "Ladies and gentlemen, it turns out we have caught our self a poacher! Why, we all know what the punishment for poaching is, don't we?" He asks. Of coarse we know what the punishment is, it's death.

The peace keeper takes out his, whip. "Now, we would hate to have anyone else go through this pain." He says and lets the first whip crack. I felt it hit my skin and I already know I'm bleeding. I scream in pain, I can feel the tears also streaming down my cheeks. I can't look this weak in front of the whole District! I've won the Hunger Games, I should be stronger than this. I feel the whip hit my bare skin about twenty more times before I can hear a familiar voice yelling.

"Katniss? Katniss? Are you alive?" It's Peeta's voice. I don't have the strength nor energy to reassure him I'm alive. But then again, I think I'm dead. I just hang there probably looking lifeless. "She's dead, let me just have a few words with her!" I hear Peeta screaming. I'm assuming the peace keepers are restraining him so he can't come to my aid. The whip hits me again for at least another ten times before I pass out.

I don't remember much, I remember waking up, going into the woods, I get caught for poaching, got whipped, and now I'm on a kitchen table? No, I have to be dead. But this looks a lot like my house back on Earth.

"Katniss, do you need me to get you anything?" It's Peeta's voice, I turn my head over facing Peeta. I can't be dead, because Peeta isn't dead.

"Am I dead?" I ask, I probably sound all groggily.

"No, Katniss, you're alive and I'm going to take good care of you while you heel." Peeta says and gives me a kiss, "Mrs. Everdeen, she's up." Peeta shouts.

Mom comes walking in the kitchen, "Oh good Katniss, you're up." She says and puts something cold on my back.

"It hurts. It really hurts. What happened?" I ask.

"You were whipped in town square." Peeta says. I nod my head, that must be why I'm in so much pain, well my back is.

"And this medicine should help heal it I think. But we might have to take her to a Capitol doctor, these cuts are really deep." My mom says.

"Katniss, you need to get some sleep." Peeta says. I've been sleeping a lot, maybe even the whole day? But I nod in agreement because fatigue starts to take over my body...


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all of the feedback. But can I ask you guys a huge favor, one of my closest friends is going through a really tough time right now, and it would mean a lot to pray for her. She tried to commit suicide, but I told a teacher and is being sent to a rehab center :( Oh, happy Derby day, and may the odds be ever in your favor ;) good luck to Palace Malice in today's Kentucky Derby, hoping for the Triple Crown winner this year, it's been a while. **

**Peeta's POV**

I wake up around nine thirty and roll over to find Katniss already gone. I think I remember her telling me about meeting Gale in the woods. I lazily roll out of bed and walk down stairs to begin breakfast. I know Katniss has been going crazy over cheese buns recently so I decided we can have that for breakfast. I mix all of the ingrediants until I realize we don't have any cheese. _We always have cheese though._

"Dammit." I mutter underneath my breath. I guess that means I have to make a trip to the bakery. I pull on my coat and begin to walk into town. I see a large crowd crowded around in the center. "Now we have a poacher here." I hear the peace keeper say. _poacher? That means it could only be Katniss or Gale. No body else in the District crosses the fence in fear of their death awaiting them. _

_Please not be Katniss God. Please not be Katniss. _I think to myself and find my feet carrying me faster to the center of the town. I'm hoping it's Gale but when I hear Katniss' scream let out, I know it's Katniss who's being punished. I run as fast as my feet can carry me and pray I'm not too late.

"Katniss! Katniss!" I'm screaming and there is no response, _she's dead. She's really gone. _I feel the tears form in my eyes. I feel the peace keepers push me back into the crowd. "No! No! She's dead just let me have a few words with her!" I scream, the peace keepers surprisingly let me through.

When I reach her I grab her hand and hold it tight. "Katniss, please don't leave me. Please don't leave me." I'm pleading to her. I can see her breathing slightly, _so at least she' still alive. But for how much longer? _I think to myself. I think she has passed out and I'm thankful for that because that means she won't be feeling all of this pain. These wounds look so deep, I could swear I see a bone, but I'm no healer or doctor.

"Go home. Go home, before we pick who is next." The angry peace keeper shouts and the crowd goes about their business as if nothing has happened which deeply sickens me for that. He then walks up to me "Get her out of here kid. And make sure she doesn't go in the woods again, because next time, her punishment will be death. We'll be watching closely." He says sternly and walks away.

"Katniss, I'm going to take you home. And I'm sorry if I hurt you, but we need to get you to her mom." I say. I don't want to carry her bride style because I need to be careful about her back. I have no idea on how I could carry her with no help, and if I don't get her out of here, the new head peace keeper will kill her. There is no other way I can carry her besides bride style, so I decide that will be the best way.

I unhook her arms from the pole and pick her up. "Tell me if this hurts Katniss. And I'll try and fix it. I'm so sorry this happened to you." I say and I see one of my tears hit her pale check. It's almost like the life has been sucked right out of her.

Thankfully the walk from the center of the town isn't too far away from the Victor's Village. "Mrs. Everdeen? Haymitch? Prim? Someone please help. She's dying!" I scream through the tears in my eyes. Mrs. Everdeen and Prim are the first to come out.

"Oh my God. Peeta what happened?" Mrs. Everdeen asks with small tears coming down her face. If she's like this now, I could only imagine what she was like watching the Games. Mrs. Everdeen helped me walk her inside their house and onto their kitchen table. Katniss was still passed out, thank God.

"I don't know. I she got a note from Gale yesterday telling to meet him in the woods, when I woke up I started to make cheese buns but realized I didn't have any cheese. So I went into town going to the bakery to pick up some cheese. When I heard the peace keepers announce that someone was going to be whipped for poaching. I was hoping it wasn't Katniss, but when I heard her first scream, I sprinted as fast as I could into the Town Square. I managed to convince the peace keepers to let her go. I didn't want to carry her home the way I did, but they told me if she was poaching again they would kill him and also if I didn't get her out of there, they would kill her." I say. The tears are coming harder. It's so hard to see someone you love in pain and on the verge of dying.

Mrs. Everdeen nods and calls Prim downstairs. I can see tears form in the corner of her eyes as soon as she sees Katniss in her current state. To me, it's unreal on how much these sisters love each other. Katniss volunteered for Prim. I love my brothers, but we're not as close as Katniss and Prim are. My brothers would have never volunteered themselves to take my spot in the Games. But Katniss did it in a heartbeat. "It's almost winter, so the good news is, snow should start to fall and we can use a snow coat to help it heel. But for now, we can only use herbs." Mrs. Everdeen says. Prim has wrapped her arms around my torso and I have one of my arms around her.

"Prim, I need you to go upstairs and get my first aid kit." Mrs. Everdeen says. Prim nods and runs upstairs.

"Is she going to okay?" I ask. I can't even hide the tears on my face.

"I don't know." Mrs. Everdeen says flatly. "I think these are really deep, when she wakes up, lets hope she's in pain because that would mean her first layer of nerves haven't broken. But she's a fighter." And Mrs. Everdeen begins her work when Prim comes back downstairs.

When Mrs. Everdeen is putting on some light medicine across her back, I hold her hand throughout the entire process. After she was done, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim go into the living room and relax in there.

"Katniss, you've got to hold on. You have so much to live for." I say to her. I don't know if she can hear me, but I feel better talking to her.

"Peeta?" Katniss says groggily. "What happened?" She asks. I don't have time to answer her before I can call her mom and Prim into the room.

"It hurts Peeta. It really hurts." She says and I see more tears come out of her eyes. I recall what Mrs. Everdeen saying about how we want her to feel pain. I take a sigh of relief on that part. I can feel her grip on my hand tighten as she adjusts to the pain.

"I know honey, but your mom will make you feel better." I say and hold her hand tighter.

"You promise?" She asks, I can see the pleading in her eyes, I know she must be in immense pain.

"I promise. I promise she will." I say confirming the promise.

Mrs. Everdeen gives her some herbs to drink. I manage to convince her to get some sleep. She agrees and shuts herself out from the world.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

Over the next few weeks, Peeta takes care of me and makes sure my wounds heel. My mom was right, a few days after the incident, the first snow fell, and my mom used a snow coat to help with the heeling. Luckily, I didn't get an infection even though the wounds were really deep. Mom says I'll have scars from that probably for the rest of my life. Gale has never stopped by to check on me, and that sort of hurts. It isn't his fault I was whipped, but it would have been nice for him to at least see if I was okay. Our friendship has changed so much, I wish it could go back to normal. Like the whole Reaping Day was a dream and I wake up in my house in the Seam and head out to go hunting with Gale.

* * *

We've been home from the Victory Tour for three months now. District 12 has finally gotten back to normal. As if Peeta and I never won the Games except for when we get that feast every month.

"Peeta." I shout, "Are the cheese buns almost done?" I scream from the living room to the kitchen.

"They're done right now, I've also cooked some pancakes with it." He yells from the kitchen. I swear, I'm going to die fat because of all of the sweets he bakes me.

I walk into the kitchen and the smell of the pancakes makes me feel nauseous. I run over to the sink and throw up. Peeta runs over to my side and holds my hair back runs a soothing hand down my back. After I'm done I slide down and lean against the cabinants.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta asks with a concerning voice. "We can always call your mom and have her find out what's wrong." I shake my head. I don't need help. "Katniss, this is the third time you've thrown up this week." He argues.

"I'm fine, I'm sure it's just a cold or I might be getting the flu. I've heard the flu has been going around recently." I try to convince me. He nods in agreement. I guess he knows I'll win this argument.

"I guess I'll give the pancakes to someone who lives in the Seam. But the cheese buns are on the table." He says and gives me a hand up. I make my way over to the table and pretty soon eat all of the cheese buns before Peeta could have one. "Well, I guess someone's hungry." He says and playfully punches my arm.

"Sorry." I say in embarresment. I guess it's nice being able to eat and know if you're still hungry you can eat some more until you fill your belly.

A few hours later, Peeta goes into the Seam and gives the pancakes to this single mother who is only 25 with five children. I walk over to the house where Prim and my mom say. I never knock because technically this is my house, "Hey Little Duck." I say when I walk in. I notice Prim is watching t.v.

"Hi Katniss. How's your back?" She asks.

"It's good. Where's Mom?" I ask.

"She went to the Seam to help a child." She says and I nod. She pats the spot on the couch next to her. I sit next to her and she lays down and lies her head in my lap. "I love you Katniss. When you were in the Games, I was so scared you were going to die. Especially when you burned your leg and were trapped in the trees by the careers. And when Rue died, I thought you were about to kill yourself." She says. Prim and I used to have heart to heart conversations all of the time. But since I came home from the Games and the Victory Tour, I haven't really spent time with her.

"Well, it was hard to survive. But I'm here now." I say and start to stroke her long blonde hair. "And I'm sorry I put you through all of that." I say and kiss her forehead. I fall asleep, I can hear Peeta and my mom talking about something in the kitchen. Prim is no longer on my lap, and I'm sure she is also in the kitchen with them.

Curious, I get up and walk over to the wall that separates the kitchen to the living room and press my ear against it. I can hear Peeta's voice talking. "She's thrown up for the past three days and can't stop eating." He explains, I can picture my mom thinking and I hear her response, "She sounds pregnant to me. But I cold have her take a pregnancy test if you wanted me too." "Yes, please." I hear Peeta's response._ Pregnant? I can't be pregnant, that was only one time. I didn't even have my period the either. _

I decide this would be an appropriate time to walk in. As soon as I do, all three of them stare at me. "Katniss, I'm going to need you to take a test. Let me go and get it." My mom says and motions for Prim to get it from upstairs.

"What kind of test." I ask deciding to play dumb.

"Just a test." My mom casually replies. I already know what kind of test so I don't bother to question it.

When Prim comes back my mom hands me a test. "Go in the powder room and pee in it. When you're done, come back and give it to me." She says, I nod and walk down the hall and into the powder room. I pull down my pants and underwear. I don't have to pee at the current moment, so I grab a cup in the cabinant and drink a few small cups.

I pee on the stick and take it out to my mom. She nods and places it in the sink. About a few minutes later, I can see her check the stick and whisper something into Peeta's ear. "It's negative." If I didn't overhear her and Peeta talking earlier, I wouldn't have known what she meant, so at least I'm not pregnant. I also see Peeta let out a sigh of relief.

"It's getting late, and Peeta and I should be going now." I say and grab Peeta's hand and lead him out the front door.

"Peeta, can I have some dinner?" I ask him and give him my puppy eyes that never fail to make him cave into whatever my need is.

"What do you want?" He asks.

"A sandwich with cheese." I say and he nods. As soon as we get back home to our Victor's Village house, Peeta goes straight to the kitchen and starts making my sandwich. I lie down and lay my feet across the couch. Peeta comes into the living room with my food. I take one bite out of it and something is wrong. "Peeta. You forgot the cheese." I snap, "I just asked for one simple thing and you mess it up damnit!" I scream.

"Katniss, I'm sorry. Here I'll go fix it." He offers and holds out his hands so I can hand him the plate.

I look into his eyes and I can see a sincere apology. "No. I can do it myself. They're right, if you want something done correctly you got to do it yourself." I snap and go into the kitchen. I decided I didn't want to see Peeta for the rest of the night. So I go upstairs and lock the door. I lay on my side and realize how empty and lonely the bed feels without him in it with me. I don't know what triggered that response out of me.

I drift off to sleep but wake a few hours later and hear the knob giggle. I'm sure it's Peeta. "Katniss, I'm sorry about tonight. But could you let me in?" I can hear the plead in his voice. I start to feel bad about snapping at him earlier, but I couldn't help. I decide to pretend not to hear his voice and drift back to sleep. It won't be the first time he would be sleeping on the couch...

_I'm coming back from the woods a few weeks after my whipping incident. I know the new head peace keeper said if I was caught poaching outside the District boundaries, I'll be punished by death, but the woods is where I escape to when I need to be alone. I can always find comfort in them. Especially by the Lake House my dad took me too when I was younger. _

_I go through town and see a huge crowd gathered around the Square again, sort of like when it was my whipping. "I told his fiance the punishment would be death if she went hunting again. But I think killing him will do just as much harm as killing her." I hear a peace keeper say. It takes a few seconds to process that, but that's what Peeta told me that the peace keeper told me. He's killing Peeta!_

_"Peeta! Peeta!" I scream. His shirt is stripped off like mine was. "You shouldn't have been hunting again." The peace keeper says. He raises his whip to whip Peeta again, but I step in front and he gets me in my face, he just laughs and pulls the gun on Peeta and shoots to kill him. _

_"Peeta." I whimper because he's really dead._

My eyes flash open from the dream, well nightmare. I guess Peeta heard me screaming and came running up stairs. "Katniss, if you don't unlock this door I can't help you." He says.

I unlock the door and fling into his arms. His strong arms immanently wrap around me. "I'm so sorry Peeta. For our fight. I love you and I'm so thankful that I have you." I cling to his chest.

"I love you too Katniss. And I'm glad that you're mine too." He says and kisses my forehead. We stay like this for a few more minutes before he leads me to our bed and he wraps me in his arms and we sleep like that until the sunlight wakes us up. I look over at Peeta and see he's still asleep, since he normally makes me breakfast, I get up and go downstairs to start cooking.


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, none of my Derby picks won...again. Well there's always next year, I said the same things last year when Bodemeister came in second. Oh well. Anyway here is the next chapter. And if you're wondering why I'm updating this story more than Survival of the Fittest, it's because this is an extra credit project for English. **

**Katniss' POV**

It's been five months since we've been home from the Victory tour, and nothing has returned back to normal. I've been in the woods twice since the whipping incident without being caught. Gale and I have formed a somewhat awkward friendship now, but it's better than nothing I guess.

Today, my prep team and Effie will be coming to District 12 to help me try on wedding dresses. I have a strong feeling that these dresses will have been made from the capitol and we'll have a capitol wedding. I can't stand on how they dress, I hope my make up wont' be as outrageous as their's either.

Cinna and I are upstairs and he hands me a wedding dress. This one is a white one that hugs my curves and is skin tight until you get to your hips and then it poofs out into ruffles. I strip off my shirt and pants and try it on. I pull it up and it feels a little tight and it isn't even zipped up.

"Cinna, can you zip this up?" I ask.

He walks over and turns me around so he can get the zipper. He tries a few times before he gives up. "Sorry Katniss. I think you've gained some weight since you've been home from the tour. And I haven't measured you since." I feel a little self concious and I think Cinna can tell that comment made me uncomfortable. "I'm sure it's just from having enough food to eat." He quickly says.

He has me take off that dress and hands me another one, he says this one should be a little loser because of the material. This one is fitted, but not skin tight. It's also white but has lace all over. I try on a few more dresses and show them off to Effie, the rest of my prep team, my mother, Peeta, and Prim. All of them shed some tears at point that night. The media from the capitol also came to video all of my dresses. President Snow will have the capitol citizens pick their favorite dress and the which ever one gets the most amount of votes is the one I'll wear for MY wedding. I can't even pick out my own wedding dress.

Peeta and I are sitting on our couch later that night. I'm laying down with my feet in his lap, he's rubbing them, they've been swelling a lot recently. "See Katniss, it wasn't that bad trying on all of these dresses." He says. I give him the annoyed 'I'm going to kill you' look. He chuckles. "Well Effie did say they should have the footage done by tomorrow night and we can watch it along with the Quarter Quell announcement." He says. I totally forgot about the Quell. What a great way to start off a years at mentoring by watching some sick added twist to the Games.

I just hope that whatever our tributes will be, Peeta and I don't become emotionally attached to them. Even though Gale and I still aren't back to normal, I wonder what it would be like mentoring his brother and Peeta having to mentor someone he's close with. That'd be awful. "I hate how I can't pick out MY wedding dress. I mean it's MY wedding." I say.

"We can have our own little wedding and you can wear whatever you want." He says half jokingly. He's right, the capitol won't do the toasting, so we might as well do it.

"We can do out toasting tonight. Our wedding won't be for another few months anyway." I say. Peeta's eyes light up and pulls me in for a kiss.

We end up in the kitchen baking some bread, I start the fire and Peeta and I stand in front of it. "Well, I guess this is where we say our vows, I'll go first." Peeta says. "Katniss, my dad loved your mom, and they didn't work out, and as much as I love my dad and my future mother-in-law, I'm glad they didn't because we wouldn't be standing here right now. I first loved you when I was six years old. That's an eleven year crush." I giggle at that. "I dreamed this, but never actually thought this would happen. I love you so much Katniss. You're beautiful, strong, talented, unselfish. And I can only hope I can spend the rest of my life with you. Maybe even have a few little Katniss running around our house, even though you don't want to have kids. The Hunger Games normally tears people apart, but for us, it brought us together. You saved my life during the arena, and I would have died without you to save me. I love my brothers, but they would never volunteered for me for the Games. I remember hearing Prim's name being called, I felt a mix of emotions. And I knew I would gather up the nerves to talk to you after it, but I heard you screaming to volunteer, I actually got tears in my eyes. Then my name was called, and I promised myself you'd be the one to come home. I love you so much Katniss. And whatever hell this Quell brings us, we'll always have each other."

After he was done, I was shedding happy tears that we're wiped from Peeta's caring hands. "Well, here goes nothing. I remember when my dad was still alive, he was first starting to take me out to the woods, I remember stopping by the bakery several times to trade with your dad. I just observed but I never knew this would help save my life. I would always catch glimpses of you staring at me in class, but never thought anything of it. The first few times I traded with your dad alone, I was so nervous and scared, but I would sometimes catch a glimpse in you eyes and know I'll be alright. When you gave me that bread, that was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I can never repay you for doing that. And then being beaten by your mother for it. When your name was reaped, all I could think about was 'not him' because I knew I could never kill you for what you did to me with the bread. And we survived the Games and here we are now. I love you so much Peeta and Haymitch was right, I could live a thousand years and still never deserve you. I don't know why you chose me someone who is selfish and mean. But please don't ever leave me. I have no idea how I could ever live without you." I say and I can see the tears slipping from his eyes, I took my hand and wiped his tears.

We fed each other the bread, and that made us a married couple. We kiss in a long, deep and passionate kiss. We eventually made our way to bed and made love to each other the first time as a married couple. Peeta said the next day we could go to the Justice Building and become legally married.

* * *

I wake up feeling fluttering in my stomach. I go to the bathroom and realize there is a blood stain on my underwear, I guess I'm finally getting my period. I put on a pad and change into some normal clothes.

I've only been inside the Justice Building once and that was before the Games saying goodbye to Prim, my mom, Gale, and Peeta's dad. Someone who worked there legally married us, now we only have the capitol wedding to go. Later that night, Peeta, My mom, Prim, Effie, my prep team, Haymitch and I sit all in my living room awaiting the Quell announcement and to see my wedding dresses.

At each dress the crowd would 'boo' and 'chant' at their favorites. Of course the first dress that was tight was the crowd's favorite so I'm sure that is the one I'll be wearing I hope Cinna can make alterations to it or I can lose a few pounds.

I hold on to Peeta's hand tightly awaiting the Quell announcement. An avox walks out and hands President Snow the envelope labeled the '75th Hunger Games: Quarter Quell'. I also notice other envelopes the say 'Century Counts' and 'Melinium Magic' which I'm assuming are the other twists like the Quarter Quell is. Whoever invented the Hunger Games obviously planned for thousands of years of the Hunger Games with all of the envelopes.

President Snow goes on and talks about the Dark Ages and how we can't overcome the power of the capitol. "And for this year's Quarter Quell, the tributes will be reaped from the living pool of victors. To remind not even the strongest can overcome the capitol." He says and the t.v. goes blank. It takes me few minutes to process the information. Until I see my mom dead silent and Prim who started to uncontrollably start to sob.

I run out of the door. The Games are still about three months away, so I still have time to enjoy my life while I can. I've already decided that Peeta will be the one to live if it's me and him who go back in. I'm already guaranteed a spot because the other female victor died ages ago. I don't really know where I'm going. I can't go into the woods because of the peace keeper's threat, and I'm sure the woods' entrance will be heavily guarded. I run down to the very last house in the Victor's Village and shatter one of the windows and climb in. All of the Victor's home in District 12 have the same floor layout so I pick a corner and pull my knees to my chest and let the tears come out.

"Katniss." I hear Peeta's voice say in the distance. "Katniss. I know you're in hear." Peeta says and I can hear his footsteps come closer and closer almost near my hiding spot. I close my eyes tighter and try to stay quiet so he doesn't find me. "Oh Katniss." Peeta says gently. "I'm so sorry."

I look up from my knees and see his eyes are glassy from his tears. "We just got married yesterday and they're trying to rip us apart. This year's Quell is too perfect Peeta. They've had to replace it with this year's original Quell." I say between tears.

"Katniss, either way, it doesn't matter. We'll both go in and the other will die trying to save the other. But Katniss, don't worry, I'm going to get you out of the Arena." He says.

"No. You can't I'm getting you out." I say, I can hear my voice crack. Peeta just shakes his head. "Yes Peeta you're going to live. You can go and marry someone else. Someone who actually deserves you." I plead.

"Katniss, without you, I'm nothing. I need you to survive. I could never move on if you died." He says back to me. I know it won't matter what I do, he'll die trying to save me, and I'll die trying to save him.

He eventually carries me back to our house and I go into a dreamless sleep. I won't be having very many more nights with Peeta so I start to enjoy them as much as possible. I can only hope we both die in the Games because none of us could live without the other.

* * *

"Up, up, up." I see Haymitch in mine and Peeta's room. I look over at the clock, it's only eight. "What the hell Haymitch?" I ask him.

"We need to start getting in shape." He says and then wakes Peeta up and orders us to get dressed. I go back into the bathroom to put on another pad and realized it's only the splotches from yesterday morning that's on my pad. That's just a little strange, but this is my first period in a long time so I guess this one will be light, short, and sweet.

After we're dressed, Peeta, Haymitch and I are in the living room. "So, I told your mom we're going to be training like careers would. She agreed to help us by making us strong and everything. But right now, we're going to be conditioning. We'll jog through the town and through the Seam and then go to Katniss' mom's house to eat and then we'll train more." Haymitch says and Peeta and I nod.

We have only jogged about half a mile when I speak up. "Guys. Wait up, I can't run any longer." I say and stop trying to catch my breath.

"Katniss, normally you could run this route with no problem. Maybe you're sick again." Peeta says with concern. He's right, normally I can run this route with no problem at all. Even though I'm dead tired, I push myself to go on. Because if Peeta is going to live, I need to be in top shape to save him from anyone.

When we're at my mom's house, I again stuff my face full of food. My mom and Haymitch stare at me for it and Peeta and Prim giggle about it. I feel embarrassed about eating this much, but I'm hungry.

After breakfast, we do some yoga, climb trees, I teach them how to shoot with a bow and arrow, Prim teaches us about plants and healing herbs, and more strength training. We do this for the next four months. Cinna phones me often to keep up with my recent weight gain to keep up with my new measurements since I've been back home, I've gained five pounds. I guess that's normal when you have a lot of food. I also spend a lot of time with Prim and Peeta knowing I won't be able to much longer. Only Haymitch knows about my plan to save Peeta. I can't tell Prim because that would break her heart in millions of pieces.

I wake up the morning of the Reaping, and prepare myself to die. And saying good bye to all of the people I love the most.

**A/N: So I know that you should change your pad every few hours, but it's apart of the twist. Anyways one of the twist should be happening very soon. Like next three or four chapters. Anyway hope you're enjoying it. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow, thanks for all of the response for this story. Keep it up and maybe I can keep updating dailey ;) Oh, btw, I know this one is short. And I should the next chapter for my other story tomorrow maybe.**

**Peeta's POV**

I wake up and find Katniss in my arms. We normally wake up like this, but today is different. Today is the last day it will happen like this. She wakes up in my arms in our house. Today is the Reaping. I already know that Katniss will be the one coming back because I can't live without her. I managed to tell Haymitch to take good care of her for me.

"_Come here boy." Haymitch says and practically drags me upstairs by my ear. He leads me to a bathroom and turns on all of the running water, I guess he knows all too well that the houses are wired. I bet President Snow is trying to listen to us right now. "Peeta, you have to go in the arena with Katniss." He says and holds my shoulders._

_I'm a little confused by it. I thought he knew I would be going in the arena to protect Katniss and make sure she is the one to come back home. This was like an unspoken thing. "I thought you knew that?" I ask._

_"I do, but trust me, stay alive as long as possible. I have a plan and I know a way I can get the two of you out. But you cannot dare speak of this to Katniss." He says. I nod my head expecting him to tell me our game plan. "I can't tell you the game plan, but stay alive." He says and turns off all of the water and leaves the bathroom as if nothing has happened._

I recall him saying that the both of us could live. How? There can only be one victor. Except for last year, and I still have no clue how we managed it pull that off. And this year, he's killing 23 victors who have earned their right to live. All of the Districts know that the Capitol faked the Quell, it wouldn't take a genius for that to be figured out. Even though the capitol won't admit to it.

"Katniss, wake up, you need to get ready for the Reaping." I say and she rolls back over.

"I don't want to get up." She complains. I manage to force her out of bed. It's ten, normally the Reaping wouldn't be held until the afternoon, but since they want us in the capitol as soon as possible, they changed the time to eleven.

Katniss nor I even bother to look nice. That's the capitol's job, to make us look appealing.

* * *

We walk hand in hand until we're in front of the Justice Building where we were legally married. We haven't told anyone about our marriage and I guess no one will ever know unless Katniss decides to tell them. Mainly because the capitol wanted to throw our wedding. There are two sections tapped off this year. One small section for the girls and another small section for the boys.

The town is in silence. I turn around and see Prim's eyes filled with tears. I said good bye to my parents earlier. My dad and brothers have tear stains on their cheeks, but to my mother, I don't think she could care less if I died. I was supposed to be a girl and because of I'm a boy, she hates me.

Effie walks up wearing another ridiculous capitol outfit. I don't think she has worn the same outfit twice in her lifetime "Welcome, welcome. Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor." She says trying to have a happy voice and put on a fake smile. We watch the video about the dark ages and how the Hunger Games were invented to keep all of us districts inline. "And now the time was come to pick one courageous young man and women, for the honor, or representing District 12 in the 75th Annual Hunger Games. Now, as usual, ladies first." She says and walks over to the reaping bowl containing Katniss' name. She's the only living female victor, so it's only her name in the bowl. But, Effie still digs around in there as if expecting another name to be called. "Katniss Everdeen." Effie says. Katniss walks sadly up the stage. She thinks it's her last time seeing District 12, it's not. It's my last time seeing District 12 though...

Effie calls Haymitch's name next, but I immanently volunteer for him. Just like our plan. I see the tears well up in Katniss' eyes. I don't think she really believed that I would volunteer for the Games. I can only wonder what kind of plan Haymitch has up his sleeves and it better work too.

The peacekeepers take us inside, but instead of letting us say a quick goodbye to our families, the peace keepers usher us to the trains. "I thought we could say goodbye to our families first." Katniss says with a bit of anger in it.

"New rules, you can't do that anymore." The peace keeper says without symphony. He's not the one being sent to his death, we should be able to at least say we love them.

"But I'll never get to see my sister again! I never gave her a proper goodbye." Katniss argues but knows it's one she won't win. She stops trying to resist being pushed around, but once we're in the train, she goes into a corner and slides her knees up to her chest and puts her face into her knees and starts to sob. She's been so strong lately, and now, she's just letting it all out.

"Katniss." I say and put a comforting arm around her. "You'll see her again in a month. I promise."

"No, because you're coming home. Not me. You deserve it more than I do." She argues back. I say nothing in return but hold her in my arms.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

We arrive the next day in the capitol. The capitol citizens are going crazy about the star crossed lovers returning back to the capitol. Peeta or I aren't paying any attention to them hoping they'll get a message that we're pissed off at them for making us go back into the Games and fight for our lives.

The Tribute Parade went well. Peeta and I are dressed in a matching outfits that are dying embers and a black crown on each of our heads like the crown we received for winning last year's Games. Cinna instructs Peeta and I to just look in the distance and not smile or wave at anyone. Whatever reaction Cinna was hoping for from the crowd, it worked because he was pleased with us after it was over.

After I take off all of my makeup, I walk into Peeta's room. On the Victory Tour, Effie didn't like us sleeping together, but because our days together are numbered, she doesn't seem to mind at all. "I hate all of this." I say to Peeta while he holds me tight in his arms in our bed.

"I don't like it anymore than you do. Trust me." He says in return and kisses my forehead. He starts to gently stroke my hair. I hope he won't miss kissing me too much when I'm dead after the Games, because he always tells me how much I complete him, and he completes me. I'm sure in ten or fifteen years, Peeta will realize what an awful person I truly am and get married and have little Peetas running all around their house in the Victor's Village. With some other beautiful wife who actually deserves him.

Peeta and I don't really talk at all for the rest of the night, I eventually fall asleep into a night with no nightmares. I wake up feeling fully rested, but a rude awakening from Haymitch ruined my whole day.

"Get up. You have training in a half hour. Effie won't be walking you down." He lays our training outfits on a chair next to the door and walks out.

"Well that was nice." Peeta says and I laugh a little. I put on new undergarments and Peeta helps me zip up the suit. We quickly eat breakfast, "Remember, you two need to make lot's of friends. These Victors have known each other for years, so they'll have a harder time killing them." Haymitch says and we're in the elevator heading for the lowest floor.

Even though we're a few minutes early, we're one of the last districts to arrive. Throughout the whole day at training, I'm drained from energy after one practice fight. I spend time with Mags. So now I have to tell Haymitch I'm now friends with an 80 year old women who can barely speak. I can picture him scoffing at me right now. I never leave Peeta's side this whole day. The game makers are watching us both closely, Boggs, another tribute told me about the force field surrounding them. And that force field is probably because of me.

When we arrive back at our floor, I eat five bowls of lambstew then Peeta and I head to bed, knowing that tomorrow will be just as boring as today.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the last chapter, I must of clicked on the wrong document and uploaded that. So sorry. Well here's another chapter! I can't wait for you guys to read about the twist ;) I'm sure most you won't have expected it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games**

**Peeta's POV**

Haymitch told us he wanted us to make friends during training. He said we're at a disadvantage because all of the other Victors competing in this years Games have won at least five years ago. And since we won only last year, we don't know any of the other victors personally so we'll be their first target.

We got dressed in our training suits, as much as I wanted to die during some of the training exercises we practiced back home when we found out about hte Quell, I know it paid off especially if I'm supposed to keep Katniss alive. Like last year, the suits are skin tight and are labeled with our district number, I notice Katniss has gained a few pounds, to me, it's a good thing to know that she has enough food to eat instead of being starving.

We are one of the last Districts to arrive. It took a while to convince Effie not to walk us down to training because 'Katniss and I are big kids now', I can see the careers are already hard at work at combat, I would have though they would have practiced more survival skills. I think it was Cashmere who almost died in her games because the career pack parted too early and none knew how to survive. It makes me realize that the careers are going to be even tougher this year, not only are they each almost ten years older than us, they have won these Games once before.

Throughout the early morning session, I spend a lot of time with Finnick working on our combat, I notice Katniss is trying to learn different knots and fish hocks, with Mags. _So that's Finnick. _I think. He's basically the Sex God in the capitol, some say that capitol citizens pay loads of money to sleep with him and even more money to get one of his sperms as a sample and have one of his kids. But I don't think any have been successful.

When it's time for lunch, we meet in the same room as last year. But we sit with Mags and Finnick from 4, the District 11 tributes, and Johanna Mason. When Johanna won her Games, she did it in a 'rebellious' way, sort of like Katniss and I did, and when she arrived home, all of her family was dead. Katniss and I are lucky that the capitol loves us so much, because if they didn't, I'm sure Prim and Gale wouldn't be with us anymore.

We talk a lot through the lunch, nothing about the Games, but just gossip. Like their days aren't numbered. Just living life while they can. I hold Katniss' hand the rest of the time we're there, trying to show the Game Makers were unseperable. She teaches me how to shoot, and for a first timer, I'm that bad. I show Katniss how to use the camouflage, lets just say I'll stick to painting and Katniss will stick with shooting.

* * *

"So who do you want for your allies?" Haymitch says at dinner. He's picking at his food again. I look at Katniss, and she nods. We discussed who we wanted earlier.

"Well, Katniss and I were thinking. We both like Mags, Wiress, and Bettee." I say. Haymitch nods, he doesn't say anything at first, which surprises me, but of coarse, he always has something to say.

"How about Johanna? Or Finnick? They seam really good and strong. Especially if you're trying to keep each other alive." I look at Katniss and she shakes her head at me.

"I don't like Johanna. I always feel that she's trying to kill me. She gives me the evil eye constantly." Katniss explains.

"I really don't care. Whatever Katniss wants, I'm okay with." I say dismissing myself from dinner.

It takes Katniss the rest of the training days to agree to have Johanna as an ally. I think she would be good to have. Along with Finnick. They both seam like they could survive and take care of themselves as well as fight off the careers.

We told Haymitch we wanted Finnick, Johanna, Mags, Wiress, and Beetee. I thought at first, he would disagree, but he actually said those were smart choices. The days of training flew by and Katniss and I were waiting our turn to show the Game Makers our skills. "So, what are you going to show the Game Makers?" I ask trying to avoid an awkward silence.

"I honestly don't know." She sighs, "I can't shoot an arrow at them though." She says and partially laughs.

"Same." About that time, a mechanical voice appears over the intercom "Peeta Mellark." It says, I give Katniss a quick kiss goodbye and she wishes me some luck. I walk into the room and I can feel the Game Makers stare me down. Last year, they were very drunk and ready to go. But I guess they learned their lesson from Katniss last year when they shoot the arrow at them. And they stare at me as I walk across the room to the camouflage station.

I'm not really sure what I'm painting. But I know that Katniss buried Rue in wildflowers when she died to show the capitol she wasn't a piece in their Games, just like I told Katniss the night before our first Games. I want to make them feel guilty about killing that poor, innocent 12 year old girl who just wanted to go home to her family. Just like the rest of the tributes. _That's what I'm going to paint! A picture of all of the tributes from last year, as a group photo they take right before each Games._ It takes me about forty five minutes to complete the painting. I look up at the Game Makers, they're all whispering and staring at me probably wondering what I'm painting.

I painted the tributes.I wanted to make the Game Makers realize that we're not a piece in their Games, everyone of those tributes will be remembered. I make sure not to forget anyone, I draw Foxface who ate the nightlock to the vicious Clove. I turn around the painting and I can see a sympathetic look from Plutarch Havensbee, I'm pretty sure that he's the Head Game Maker this year, so maybe he'll feel sympathy for me and take it easy on me in the arena.

They just nod and I'm dismissed. I walk straight to the elevator hoping Katniss doesn't notice I'm there. Haymitch, Effie, and I wait at the dinner table waiting for what she did for the Game Makers. "I wonder what Sweetheart did that's taking her so long." Haymitch says and takes a drink of his alcohol. I've been through the Games and I actually see why Haymitch drinks so much. It helps you forget, and trust me, if you've been through the Games, you want to forget. About that time Katniss comes through the door. She doesn't even greet us, she just walks swiftly to the couch and puts her face into the pillow and lets out a huge scream. "Well, whatever she did, it can't be good." Haymitch says and laughs.

"Shut up Haymitch! Before I kill you. I'm not even kidding. Leave me alone." She says in a stern tone. I can hear her start to cry now. Instinctivly I go up to her and kiss her head.

"If it makes you feel better, I painted a picture of all of the tributes from last year's Games. To show I'm more than a piece in their Games." I say softly but loud enough so Haymitch could hear me. She just nods, I'm sure she feels terrible about whatever she did.

We watch the training scores, all of the victors do a decent job and average around a nine maybe ten. "Now for District 12, Peeta Mellark, with a score of a 12." Ceaser says. I'm not sure if I should be happy or sad because now I'll have an even bigger target on me and that will only make it harder for me to keep Katniss alive. "Now the last tribute, Katniss Everdeen, with a score of a 12." She perks her head up from the pillow, her eyes are red and puffy signalling that she really was crying.

"How?" She asks, "All I did was hang a dummy and paint Seneca Crane on it." Haymitch, Effie, and I stare at her blankly about what she did. No wonder why she wouldn't talk about it. "He doesn't deserve to be forgotten, I mean, he let Peeta and I live right?" She says. Surprisingly Haymitch nor Effie has something to say, this is a record without them having to comment on everything we say. I guess they realize these are our final days together and are trying to make them enjoyable, even though Haymitch says he's getting us both out. She explains how Seneca was executed for letting both us live and she wasn't supposed to know about that.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

The next day, I wake up in Peeta's arms, I'm only waking up like this one more time before we're in the arena so I'm trying my best to enjoy this. An avox comes in our room and hands us a note.

_Good luck on your interviews tonight, we won't be practicing. Sweetheart, try to act appealing and clueless, Peeta, act like you're doing everything you can to get your lover out of the arena and add some of your people quality in it. I guess you'd both rather be with each other. -Haymitch_

I'm relived that I won't have to be working with Haymitch on how I should portray myself. And have Effie tell me about manners when I'm about to fight to my death tomorrow. I guess Peeta got the letter before I did because he when I went to breakfast, I could tell he had something up his sleeve. When I sat down, preparing to eat my pancakes he grabs my wrist and pulls me upstairs. "Peeta, can I at least go back and get my pancakes?" I ask, "Because I'm starving."

Peeta laughs, "You're always hungry Katniss." He says and lets my wrist go. I go back to the breakfast table to get my pancakes, but a cinamon roll sounds good with it too, so I grab one of those as well.

When I go back to where Peeta was he started to laugh out loud, "Are you trying to feed another person as well?" Peeta asks.

"No, but I'm hungry." I say and eat the food. Peeta once again grabs my wrist and leads me up to the balcony that overlooks the entire capitol. As much as I hate the capitol for putting me through this hell, but it looks so rich and expensive, then you have the other districts that are run down and people are dying every day from starvation.

Peeta and I spend the rest of our last full normal day together on the balcony. I eat another breakfast along with a few snacks then lunch and soon a big dinner. Peeta laughs at how much I eat, I mean I can't help it that I'm hungry. Peeta and I watch the sunset together before Haymitch comes up and tells us it's time to get ready for our interviews.

"This was the wedding dress you would have worn if it wasn't for you know." Cinna says and hands me one of my wedding dresses.

It was the first one, the one that wouldn't fit, "Don't worry I made some alterations with your body and how the lighting will work out." Cinna knows a lot more about designing clothes than I do so I just agree to it. "And one more thing Katniss, don't forget to twirl." He adds and I nod.

Peeta and I wait our turn backstage for our interviews. Some of the tributes really piss me of of how stupid they act. "Now, lets give a warm round of applause for the Girl on Fire, Katniss Everdeen." Ceaser says and I take this as my signal to walk on stage.

Ceaser welcomes me and gives each check a kiss. "Katniss, you look absolutely stunning. Was this one of your wedding dresses you were supposed to wear?" He asks.

"It was, I'm so sorry you guys can't see me getting married in this gorgeous dress. It's truly amazing. Cinna truly is a talented designer. I'm so blessed to have know him" I say as innocently as I can. I don't have to look at Cinna to know I'm supposed to twirl now. I twirl and like last year, there is fire coming out of the dress, but this year, there is also smoke. I sit down because I feel a little dizzy. I look down at my dress and find the fabric has turned into black feathers and right by my shoulders are wings. _I am a mockingjay._ I think to myself. Cinna is going to be in so much trouble for this.

"What are you now exactly?" Ceaser asks with a smile tugging on his face.

"Well, last year my token in the arena was a mockingjay, and I now I think this is supposed to be a mockingjay." I say with pride. Ceaser was about to say something else, but the timer rang. I gave one last bow to the crowd who are chanting for me.

I walk off the stage and I can hear Peeta whisper "Please don't be mad." He says, I don't know what I could be mad about. I walk over to see one of the t.v.'s that is showing Peeta's interview.

They start off by cracking a few jokes with each other. "I'm sorry you and Katniss won't be having your wedding. You both seamed so excited." Ceaser says.

Peeta nods, "I hope the audience can keep a secrete, because we already are married." Peeta explains, confusion is all over Ceaser's face. "We had an old fashion District 12 wedding. We knew we would have on in the capitol, and couldn't wait any longer. No one knows but Katniss and I. Not even Haymitch or her mom." Peeta says.

"Well, I'm glad you guys got a few months of happiness, after all, you both deserve it." Ceaser says, the crowd has tears in their eyes, they're so pathetic.

"I wish I we would have waited until after this year's Games. I mean we just didn't see this coming." Peeta says trying not to have tears form in his eyes.

"Surely a little time is better than no time." Ceaser says trying to life Peeta's spirits.

Peeta just shakes his head, "Maybe I could think that too Ceaser, if it wasn't for the baby." Peeta lets a tear slide down his face, Ceaser also looks like he is about to cry. "It just sucks, because I've become friends with Johanna and Finnick and Mags, and now I have to kill them to ensure my wife and baby will survive? I wish I could hold the baby and hear it call me daddy. But, it needs to live. Along with it's mother. I love them both more than life itself." Peeta says, the crowd is going crazy now, Ceaser can't calm them down, they're all screaming "Peeniss, and my favorite was 'Everlark'.

Peeta's buzzer sounds and he walks off the stage, I have tears in my eyes, mainly from my costume. I open my arms for Peeta. _So now when I'm in the arena, I'm going to have to act pregnant. Great._ "Is there anything I need to be sorry for?" Peeta asks, I can see how sincere he is.

I don't answer him put press our lips together. That night, we showered together and made love several times knowing that it would be our last time doing it. Peeta and I both wake up naked. As Cinna and Portia walk in, I can hear them giggle a bit. But I don't care. It's not like I'll ever see them again.

Cinna and I ride to the launch room where he hands me this year's outfit. It's a blue jumpsuit. "I don't think it could provide much protection from anything." Cinna says while feeling the material. "If it's been treated, it can protect you from the sun." Cinna makes sure my signature braid looks perfect and pins my mockingjay pin on the jumpsuit.

I sip on some water remembering how I almost died of dehydration, and now that I'm 'pregnant' I have to drink and eat more. I nibble on some crackers, but I'm too nervous to be hungry.

"20 seconds." A voice says. I look at Cinna and he nods, I walk over to the glass launch tube and step inside. I sit in there for 20 seconds but I don't rise into the arena.

"Cinna! CInna!" I scream. Three peace keepers enter the room, two hold him down while the other beats him. I can see the blood coming from everywhere. As soon as the peace keepers exit the room with Cinna my glass tube rises.

I try not to think about Cinna's death because right now I have to focus on keeping Peeta alive. When the glass tube rises, I'm blinded at first from the sun in the arena. I smell the salt water splashing around. I can only form one clear thought, this is no place for a girl on fire. I can't help but wonder what horrifying deadly muttations lurk around in there.

I try to search for Peeta and our other 'allies' but nothing. They must be blocked by the cornucopia. The countdown begins and before I know it the gong rings. And now it's every man for himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter, and the main part of the story is just now beggining :) And reviews and follows do make me update a little faster ;)**

**Katniss' POV**

The gong rings and I dive into the water along with the other tributes. Luckily for me, my dad taught me how to swim in the lake when I was younger, but I don't know how Peeta could get off his podium because he doesn't know how to swim. Most of the other tributes don't know how to swim so they just stand there cluelessly wondering what they should do next. If you didn't know how to swim before this, that sucks for you, they didn't have swimming in the training room to practice, so you better know how to swim or be a fast learner. The arena was made perfectly for the tributes from District 4, Finnick and Mags.

I was the first to arrive at the cornucopia followed by the brother and sister careers from District 1, I grab a knife, a bow, and two pouches of arrows. I look over at Peeta wondering what I should do. "Don't worry, I'll get him." Finnick says and without a second thought Finnick dives right back into the water and swims over to Peeta's podium. I back myself and Mags over more to the wooded area for protection while we wait for our allies to return. While Finnick was getting Peeta, Johanna managed to come and find us near the forest.

"Just because we're allies, doesn't mean I won't kill you soon brainless." Johanna says with a smirk. I'm not sure if she was joking about that or was serious. But to be safe, I don't want to find out.

Finnick and Peeta reaches us and the bloodbath continues to go on. I think Cecilia died, I remember watching her reaping and as their district escort called her name, her three daughters clinged to her side and crying her eyes out and the oldest couldn't be more than seven years old. That's why I don't like to love anyone, because they will always leave you, through death or because of a breakup, but they always leave you and leave you in a complete mess, I mean look at my mother, she's a prime example.

"Lets get out of sight while they fight it out." I say. They all agree and we all start our trek into the forest. We only go a few steps inward until I realize that this isn't a forest. It's too tropical. And I can see all of these strange trees. It must be a jungle. I remember learning about them briefly, I can't recall to much about them, besides they rain a lot more. So that means more water! _No, because what if the water is poisiness? And then Peeta dies because I thought it was safe? No, I can't risk Peeta's life. _I hope that it won't come down to Peeta, Finnick and I because if it does, I don't know how I could ever kill Finnick. He's already saved Peeta's life when I didn't react fast enough. I hope somehow, a career could come along and kill him off. I've always hear he was the Sex Symbol or Sex God, and I thought he would be an ass, but he's really nice and caring and selfless.

We walk for hours before I have to stop. "I can't go on any longer." I ask trying to catch my breath. I remember last year how I almost died of dehydration. I couldn't let that happen again if I was to get Peeta out and constantly having to worry about Johanna killing me doesn't help my case. And plus I'm 'pregnant', pregnant ladies can't go too long without water. Hopefully a nice and kind sponsor will feel some symphony for me and make a generous donation.

Finnick and Peeta are looking at each other, almost like they are having a mental conversation with each other. "I'll carry you." Peeta says and lowers himself so I can get on his back. I nod and jump on, he adjusts to my weight and we keep going.

We hardly even talk, we're so afraid that one of the other tributes or careers pack will find us. I feel a lot more vulnerable than last year, even though it was mainly only me for a while, I didn't have to worry about anyone else. "Let's make camp." Johanna suggests. We all nod our heads because it's not like we have a better plan. We haven't seen any sign of food or water so far, so it looks like we'll go to bed hungry and thirsty.

There were no back packs this year, so more there was no sleeping bags or other survival supplies. Just because we're previous victors' doesn't mean we're survival specialists. Mags wove a 'floor' out of leaves for us to sleep on so we don't feel whatever creatures are crawling on the ground. Johanna and Finnick volunteer the first watch. We go to bed starving. I snuggle up against Peeta, he wraps his arms around me. "I'm so hungry Peeta." I say, I'm not complaining, but I am supposed to be pregnant.

"I know. And I'm sorry." He says and pushes my bands and kisses my forehead. I tell him to wake me up when he does his turn to take watch, but insisted that because I'm 'pregnant', it's better that I get as much sleep as I can. I hear eleven cannons fire, it's less than last year on the first day, but feels like more because I actually know their names. It hurts to think that most of these victors had wives or husbands and kids of their own and now they won't ever see them again.

When I wake up, Peeta, Mags, Finnick and Johanna are gathered in a circle. I can see they started a fire.

"Do we have any food or water?" I ask rubbing my stomach. Peeta just slowly shakes his head. I let out a big sigh.

"Well instead of complaining about it, why don't you go looking for some?!" Johanna shouts.

"I will!" I scream back and grab my bow and arrows. Peeta tries to come after me to stop me, but I continue on going farther and farther away from them and deeper into the unknown land of the jungle and the arena.

I've been wandering around for around looking for something decent to eat for a while now and have found nothing, no sign of life. Not even other tributes.I feel a cramp form in my lower abdomen, I ignore it and continue my journey on finding food. The cramp finally goes away, I find a creature, it had the abilities to climb trees like a surreal, but was a lot bigger. I aim my bow up and aim for it's eye. I feel a flutter in my abdomen and suddenly a gush of water comes down my legs. At first I thought I just peed in my pants, but it's followed by this horrible pain. I let out a scream. I find a small cave about two hundred yards away and slowly walk there. The pain will go away but soon is followed by an even worse pain.

I don't care if this cave is filled with some deadly creature, at least it would put me out of this pain. I curl up in a tight ball onto the ground and hug my knees tight to my chest, it makes the pain a little more bearable, but still doesn't make a big difference. "Peeta, please help me." I scream, I know he probably can't hear me. The tears come harder now and the pain comes back even stronger. I scream. "Someone please help me! Please!" I scream, "Haymitch please do something." But I don't think Haymitch doesn't know what's going on right now either. _Did I pick up some tropical disease?_

It didn't take long before a silver parachute landed a few feet away from me, it took all of the strength I had to sit up and crawl to grab it. I looked at the note before looking at the gift,

_I have no idea what's happening to you Sweetheart, go to Peeta and your group, they are not far, I'm sure Finnick could help. -H_

I sighed, he doesn't know what's wrong with me. Am I dying? I hope not, I need to keep Peeta alive. I scream as another part of pain hits me. I remember to look into the parachute, it's just a stick type thing. I have no idea what it meant, or what it possibly could do. I just put it in my pant pocket.

_I need to find Peeta. I need to find Peeta. I need to find Peeta._ I repeat to myself over and over again. I tried to stand up, but if I straighten myself up, the pain is still there. I decided to crawl, it might take longer, but maybe I'll be in less pain. I crawl out of the cave and try to remember the way I came. Another rush of pain hits and I scream. "Katniss?" I hear a familiar voice scream.

"Peeta?" I say as loudly as I can, my voice is hoarse from screaming and crying already.

"Katniss, stay right where you are, we'll come to you." Peeta says.

"Just please hurry!" I scream back, the pain stops for a few minutes, I try to relax myself and lay on my side by a tree trunk. I wonder if Peeta and the others can see me. I close my eyes and I feel Peeta shake my shoulder.

"Katniss? Katniss? Are you okay?" Peeta asks, I open my eyes again and see the concern in his blue eyes. I open my mouth to respond, but another rush of pain hits and I let out another scream.

"Peeta, please just make it stop. Kill me if you have too, but make it stop." I whine to him, I've never been in so much pain before, I don't even know how to describe what it feels like, because it's nothing like I've ever felt.

"Tell me how often these pains occur." Finnick asks.

"I don't know." I sniffle, "Every few minutes, then they come back stronger and stronger. Then they come sooner." Finnick nods and whispers something in Peeta's ear. Peeta looks like he disagrees at first, but then nods in agreement.

Peeta walks over to me and comes around behind me and wraps his arms around me. "Finnick wants you to take off your suit, he wants to check something." Peeta says in a calming voice.

In a normal situation, I would have never agreed, but we aren't in a normal situation so I reluctantly agree. Peeta strips off my suit and uses it to cover my naked chest area. Finnick opens my legs. "Look." Finnick points at my vagina, I think. "I don't think she has much longer." He says and Peeta's eyes light up.

"What's wrong with me?" I ask, I let out another scream and this one hurts more than the last ones, I didn't even know that was possible.

"Did you know you were pregnant?" Finnick asks me.

I look at him with confusion. "No, why? I'm not pregnant Finnick!" I snap, "There's no way I'm having a baby."

"Well, you can say that all you want, but I can see the hair. Spoiler alert, it's brown like yours." Finnick replies.

_No, this is some sort of mistake. I can't be pregnant. I didn't even have the pregnancy bump. I mean being pregnant would have explained my cravings, my throwing up, moodieness. But I had my period. You're not supposed to have your period while you're pregnant I thought._

"Katniss, you don't have much longer, just try to endure it." Peeta says. I know Peeta is estatic for this baby, even if we were in this bad circumstance. There is no way Peeta would let me die now.

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

When Finnick first said Katniss was pregnant, I couldn't believe him. It was impossible. But when he showed me the top of the head filled with brown hair, there was no denying it. I noticed Katniss did gain some weight, but I thought it was because she could have more to eat. She was moody, but I thought it was her period.

I held Katniss in my arms and held her hand for two long hours of her screaming and crying. I felt terriable, back in District 12, normally you got some pain medication to help with the pain. But Katniss has had no pain reliever.

Finnick checks her again. "Okay Katniss, I need you to open your legs farther apart and push on your next contraction. Johanna and Peeta, I need each of you to hold one of her feet." Finnick demands.

I'm surprised no other tribute has managed to find us, we aren't hidden, and with Katniss screaming and crying, I would have thought someone would have found us. Something must be holding them up.

"Push, Katniss push. One, two, three, four, keep going, five, six, only a few more seconds, seven, eight, nine, one more, ten." Finnick says and Katniss lets out a sigh of pain.

"Again, one, two ,three, you're doing good, four, keep going, five, six, seven, eight, nine, almost done, ten. Rest." This goes on for another hour and we still don't have a baby.

"I can't, I'm too tired. I can't do it." Katniss says, I can see the sweat dabbled along her forehead."

"Just give it a few more times, I think it's almost out." Finnick encourages.

Katniss nods and begins to push again, I can see the head coming slowly farther and farther out. She lets out another loud scream and suddenly she stops and a loud wail begins to fill the silence. I can tell tears are forming in my eyes, and I look over at Katniss who has tears in here eyes as well.

Finnick cuts the unbilical cord and grabs some cloth we had to wipe the baby down. "It's a girl." Finnick says and tries to get the blood off of her. "We need to keep her warm with something." He says. We have no blankets, so I volunteer the top part of my suit hat's already been ripped. Finnick wraps her up and hands her to me. I walk over to Katniss and hand our daughter into her hands. Katniss doesn't realize we have a daughter.

"It's a girl." I say. Katniss looks up to me and smiles.

"What should her name be?" I ask.

"How about Briar, it's a tree." Katniss suggests, I laugh how she's keeping her family tradition in it. "Now you can pick the middle name."

I smile. "How about Evangeline? It means good news, and she was good news even though it was bad timing when she was born."

"Briar Evangeline Mellark." Katniss says and has an even bigger smile across her face.

"Briar Evangeline Mellark." I repeat.

Katniss and I look into each other's eyes and then down at Briar, who looks exactly like Katniss, until she opens her eyes and then she we realize she has our eyes. This moment is perfect, just my two girls and I.

I can only imagine how many sponsors we have now. The capitol citizens would never let our baby die. I wonder how Katniss' mom and Prim are handling it. And my parents. Especially my mom, because I know she isn't too fond of her.

It wasn't long before that moment was destroyed with a loud scream. This could only mean trouble.

**a/n: So I'm sure some of you guys are like 'how could Katniss be pregnant? The pregnancy test was negative.' Well, I said she drank a few glasses of water to make her pee, but when you take a pregnancy test, you can't drink water to make you pee right before it. One of the big events just happened, but this story is far from over ;) **


	9. Chapter 9

**I probably can't update tmw night because I'm sleeping over at my friend's house so we can work on a project, I'll try to update on Saturday night though. Thanks to akaine who has constantly been reviewing each chapter!**

**Katniss' POV**

I had no clue I was pregnant. When I gave birth, I still didn't think the baby was mine, it had to be some sort of mistake. It would explain my mode swings and my cravings and why my dress wouldn't fit. But when Peeta told me it was girl and I held her in my arms and how much she looked like me, I couldn't deny I loved her. I picked out her first name which was Briar, and that means 'tree' or 'shrub' and Peeta picked out Evangeline which means 'good news' and despite our situation, Briar was good news to us, maybe even the best news we've both ever had, maybe aside from the announcement last year saying two tributes could win.

We haven't really figured anything out about the arena, we've heard several screams from tributes, but that could mean anything like someone dying, or any other terror. I'm holding Briar in my arms when I hear a scream, I jerk right up. I lay Briar down and listen closely, the same scream repeats, "Prim." I screach aloud. I'm up walking around until I hear her scream again. "Prim. Hold on, I'm coming." I yell, I grab my bow and arrows and start to sprint to where the noise is coming from.

I hear the scream again, but this time it is coming from my left, I keep following the voice until I notice it's a jabberjay. During the dark days, jabberjays were created to be used as spies, whatever you say, jabberjays can remember it and repeat an exact replica of it to whoever sent it to you. I take my bow and arrow and shoot the bird square in the eye. I feel relieved until I hear another scream, this time it's a deeper voice than Prim's. "Gale?" I yell. It's Gale's scream. I keep running until I'm out of breath, once I again I find a jabberjay and shoot it down.

"Katniss. Wait." Cries Finnick, another scream roars out, I don't recgonize it, but apparently Finnick does, "Annie?" The scream lets out again. "Annie?" He screams and runs to follow the direction the scream was coming from. When we find the jabberjay that was making the noise, I shoot it for him. It doesn't take long for the jabberjays to arrive in hundreds of numbers. I don't have enough arrows to shoot all of them down. Both Finnick and I sit on the ground crying and holding our hands to our ears trying to block out the screams of the ones we love. This was some cruel joke the capitol was playing on us.

It takes a while for Peeta, Johanna, and Mags to find us. But when they do, Peeta hands Briar to Johanna and wraps his strong arms around me. I think since we've been home, his muscles have gotten a lot stronger. "Katniss, these aren't real, they're just trying to get to you." Peeta says trying to keep me sane.

I shake my head in disagreeing way, "No, because jabberjays pick up the noises they hear. Where could they have gotten Prim's scream? Or Gale's? I can't remember the last time they have screamed." I ask blinking away tears.

Peeta stays silent, and normally when he stays silent, he doesn't know what to say, so he must know I'm right. "Okay, I don't know where they could have gotten those screams, but Katniss, how many tributes are left?" He asks.

I don't know why this matters on how many tributes, "I think maybe 12." I snuffle.

"Yes 12, and when they get down to the final 8, they interview your friends and family. They can't afford to kill Prim or Gale." He comforts. It does help some, but when I hear Briar cry, I perk right up wanting to protect her from whatever is hurting her or causing her to cry.

"Is she okay? Does she need anything?" I ask like a worried concerned mother should sound.

"She's probably hungry. She hasn't even eaten since she was born." Finnick says.

"Okay, well, how do I feed her?" I ask, normally mothers use baby formula in District 12 because it's safer and we haven't gotten any formula yet. Sponsor gift's must be crazy expensive if we haven't received anything for Briar.

"You have to get out your tits and have Briar suck the milk out of them for food!" Johanna says. I can't believe Peeta trusted her with Briar, because I know I wouldn't have. It makes me wonder if Briar now counts as a tribute. If she does, she won't even remember Peeta or me because we'll both instantly give our lives so she could win if it shall come down to us three, I now have a new mission, and it's not to keep Peeta alive, but to keep Briar alive. Hopefully Mother and Prim could raise her. But if Briar was considered a tribute, the capitol citizens would go crazy and I'm sure some Districts would too enough to cause an uprising and maybe from that could be enough to set a spark for a revalution, so Snow couldn't have our daughter as a tribute because that was a risk he could not afford to take.

Johanna hands Briar back over to me, I cradle her in my arms, she's still crying. I never liked it when anyone cried, especially young kids or babies when they're slowly dying of hunger. I lower my suit top as best as I can, I try to cover my breast as best as I can, but it's really no use. They all just watched me give birth, so I'm sure them seeing my breast can't be that big of a deal. Finnick shows me how I can get her to 'latch on' so she can breastfeed.

* * *

**Haymitch's POV**

"Dammit." I mutter to myself as Katniss was breastfeeding Briar, "This was never apart of the plan." Our plan was to break into the arena, rescue Peeta, Katniss, Johanna, Finnick, Mags, Chaff, Wiress, and Bettee. And to take them to the undergrounds of District 13 to officially start the rebellion. Now with Briar here, all of them are bound to be separated more easily. We were waiting for the right time to break into the arena, but now, this unexpected event us put us back some.

"When are we doing it?" Plutarch Havensbee walks into the mentor room. I don't know how he got a break from the Game Maker's Room, I always heard they were locked in there until the Games were over, but I guess not because Plutarch was right in front of me.

"I wanted to do it tonight, but now I don't know if we can now because of other priorities just came up." I say pointing at the screen of Katniss breastfeeding Briar.

"I think it needs to be tonight, we don't know what tomorrow could bring. Snow could give me orders to have them wiped out along with Briar. He had an avox bring me a note telling me that Briar WAS considered a tribute. So who knows what he wants us to do tomorrow." He says and walks back to the Game Maker's Room where he is needed.

I nod my head, "Please guys just stay together for a few more hours." I whisper even though I know they can't hear me. But if Peeta wants to protect Katniss, well I'm sure Briar now, they heed to all stick together, well at least them three do.

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

-Later that night-

We all were gathered around the campfire, we managed to run into Bettee, Wiress and Chaff, which we already agreed to be allies. Now I have to kill three more people to get Katniss and Briar back home. Even though it's been only two days since the start of the Games, we haven't had food or anything to drink.I remember Katniss telling me how she almost died of dehydration last year. I know Katniss needs even more food now since she has to feed Briar.

Haymitch has sent us one gift so far, we don't even know what it is or what it does. It's just a long and hollow stick. "We need food," Katniss says, "So I'm going hunting." Katniss says and hands Briar over to me and reaches for her arrows.

"No." I object.

"I'll be careful, I promise." Katniss pleads to me.

I shake my head in disagreement, "Remember what happened when you said that last time?" I protest referring to when she went into labor and almost had Briar without any of us to help her.

"I'll be back less than a hour." Katniss says and gives me a quick kiss before trotting off into the jungle.

"Just let Brainless go, she'll come back and I'm sure with food that we all desperatly need, especially your daughter." Johanna says with a devious smile, it makes me wander what she now has planned to kill us.

Briar is sound asleep. I can't believe how much she looks like Katniss. I mean she has my eyes, but she looks exactly like Katniss. We stay silent for a while, not wanting to wake Briar up. I see one of the planes that pick up the dead tributes, no one has died, I haven't heard the cannon in a while, but with it's crane it captures us and brings us up inside of it. I wonder if one has gone to pick up Katniss yet. It wasn't until I saw Haymitch in the blimp that I knew something was wrong.

"Why did you leave her?" Haymitch asks in a harsh tone.

"What do you mean leave her? She was looking for food. When am I going to get to see her?" I ask holding Briar in my arms.

"Katniss, that was how we were going to get you both out alive, but when she gave birth to the baby, we had to rescue you and her no matter what." Haymitch argues back.

"So where is she?" I yell back.

"I'm pretty sure that the Capitol plane got her." He screams back, I don't know why we're screaming at each other, but Briar wakes up from it and begins to cry, I try to calm her down but it's no use.

"We'll get her back won't we Haymitch?" He doesn't respond, but just looks down. "Won't we Haymitch?" I ask and feel a tear slip down my face, I know when he doesn't respond.

"On the bright side, we got every other survivor out, and I'm sure Katniss will be fine until we can get her." Haymitch says trying to comfort me, which he is sucking at.

"Where are we headed to then?" I ask.

"District 13. I need to tell Katniss' family the news." Haymitch says and leaves me alone with a screaming Briar, it makes me realize I may never see Katniss again, and now Briar might grow up without knowing her amazing mom.

**bleehhh, sorry, this chapter was really short. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow, I'm surprised I got to update, my friend is asleep so I decided to post. Anyone see Haunted House? The comedy one, it's hilarious, but I don't suggest watching it with parents for 'reasons'. Keep giving me feedback and favoriting/following**

**Katniss' POV**

I slowly open my eyes, and when I do, all I see are blank, white walls. I'm hooked up to an IV. I don't know where I am, last thing I remember was that I was in the arena...then if I'm here, that means I won, and if I won, that means Peeta is dead. I suddenly remember giving birth to a daughter, Peeta and I named her Briar Evangeline. But then where is she?

Still confused, I unhook myself from the IV, and wander across the room to the door that is also white. As I'm about to reach for the door handle, someone else beats me to it. I'm taken aback by who it is.

"Why, Miss. Everdeen why are you up out of your bed?" President Snow asks me with a devious voice. His white hair and pale skin blends right in with the walls and flooring of wherever I am at.

"It's Katniss Mellark." I correct him. "Where's Briar and Peeta?" I ask demanding an answer.

President Snow chuckles and then looks at me in the eyes and then chuckles again. I don't know if I should be worried what he's about to say. "Why Mrs. Mellark, only one can win the Games, but in your case, last year I allowed to victors to win so you could have a happy ending with your dear husband. And this year, the rebels broke into the arena and got the remaining victors, but don't worry, we made sure that we were to capture Peeta and Briar, but decided you were the most important out of the trio, so we killed them off so we could have two less mouths to feed."

So they're dead. They're really dead then. My wonderful husband and my poor and innocent daughter dead after only being alive for a few hours. "You're joking. You wouldn't kill them." I protest. He couldn't kill them, unless he wanted to shatter me into pieces.

"Why, Mrs. Mellark, I thought we agreed not to lie to each other." President Snow says referring to our earlier conversation right before the victory tour and walks out. I crawl back onto my hospital bed and lay down pulling my knees up to my chest and let myself cry. I have no family left, I'm sure if they killed Peeta and Briar, they would have killed Prim and my mother too. All because of me, all of them are dead. This is why I never wanted kids, in fear that I would lose them to the Games, and I did, but also my amazing husband.

I cry myself out, I realize I'm starving, I still haven't eaten since the start of the Games several days ago. When I see someone walk into my room, I get hopeful that they're bringing me food. I was wrong. It was a peace keeper bring me into a cell type thing. It's cramped. It couldn't be taller than six feet, with a perimeter of about fifty feet in total.

"Can I have some food?" I ask to the peace keeper.

All he does was laugh and then leaves me. I don't know what to do now. Do I cry? Do I try to act strong? Yes, I have to act strong because the capitol wants me to be broke, so if they want me broken, I'll have to be whole.

I soon learn a daily routine, well it's not really a routine because every other day, they bring a slice of bread and sometimes if I'm lucky, they'll bring me an apple with it. I get a cup of water a day. I can slowly see the weight fall off of me fast and I know that is not healthy. I don't feel safe to fall asleep here, so I try to stay awake most of the time.

I feel my eyes become heavier and heavier, I haven't slept very long since I've been in this room, which is about two weeks. "Get up!" A peace keeper comes over to my cell and shouts. I quickly sit up rubbing my back where I have a cramp from sleeping on hard tile floor.

I quickly obey knowing that if I don't they can easily hurt me. He opens my cell and grabs my arms and holds them behind my back. "Where am I going?" I ask

"You have an interview that will air and that will show the rebels you are alive and thriving here." He responds, I'm not thriving, I'm slowly dying, I don't know what he's talking about. I'm taken to a prep team, I think it's District 7's old prep team. They try to make me look presentable, not like I've been trapped in a tiny cell with barely any food or water for the past two weeks. I'm also handed a script with what I'm supposed to say and if I don't, they'll kill me immanently. In a way, I want to die, the rebels will use my death as strength, and I can be put out of suffering.

I sit on a small chair next to Ceaser, they made my dress bigger around my stomach so it looks like I have been eating when I really haven't.

"So Katniss, how have you been?" Ceaser asks, he's changed his hair back to blue since the start of the Quell.

"I'm fantastic Ceaser. President Snow has been really kind to me." I say, I''m sure the rebels know it isn't true.

"Well that's always nice to hear. And I must say, you really were shocked to find out that you were giving birth, did you even know you were pregnant?" Ceaser asks looking in the distance to the crowd.

I feel tears form in my eyes, I think of how beautiful Briar was and how it wasn't her fault she was born, and then that makes me think of Peeta and how they're both dead. I let the tears fall down my face, I don't care if it ruins my make up, it's not like I'm pretty anyway.

"I didn't know I was pregnant." I choke out, "And they're both dead, and it's my fault. It's all my fault they're dead." I repeat.

Ceaser feels some symphony for me and pulls me in for a hug. "Peeta nor Briar are really dead, they were rescued out of the arena. They're just trying to mess with you." Ceaser whispers quietly in my ear. I just nod, a part of me wants to believe him and another part doesn't and I don't know which one to believe.

After the interview, the make me take off my dress and put me into an over sized white tshirt that goes down to my knees. I'm locked back up in there, away from civilization. I'm alone with my thoughts. "_Dear God, please have Ceaser be right about Peeta and Briar. And my mom and Prim to be okay. I don't know what I would do without any of them. Even though Gale and I don't really talk, would you mind watching over him and his family?" _

I sigh, I really hope God will help me out with this one. The more and more I think, the more I realize that the odds were never in my favor. Even though both Peeta and I were allowed to win last year, and I have or had a daughter. "The odds are never in my favor." I say to myself, I keep repeating that and eventually cry myself to sleep.

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

I'm still in total shock with what happened to Katniss in the arena. Haymitch took Briar and I to the hospital in District 13. I still can't believe that District 13 has been in existence this entire time without any of us knowing. I spent about a week in the hospital, and surprisingly, even though Briar was born in the arena, she has no birth defects and is a very healthy baby which is a big sigh of relief.

After I got out of the hospital, I've been assigned a 'family compartment' in 13, there are several bed rooms and we are supplied with a baby's crib even though Briar sleeps with me every night. Mrs. Everdeen and Prim helped me feed Briar since now she has to be fed from formula instead of Katniss' breast milk. Haymitch told me they got out all of the remaining victors besides Katniss, but I can't recall who is all alive and dead.

Every morning we are assigned a schedule I never follow it because of Briar's constant needs and plus all I can think about is Katniss. A few days after being in 13, I wake up to a banging noise on the door. I pick up Briar and hold her in my arms and walk over to the door. "Someone wants to meet you." Haymitch says.

"Can I at least get ready?" I ask half asleep.

"Nope." Haymitch says and grabs my wrist and leads me down to the command center of District 13. The walls are still really white, it makes everything feel so gloomy when there is no color besides white.

Haymitch opens a door, when I walk in along with Briar, I feel six set of eyes staring at me. A middle age lady motions for me to sit down across from her. "My name is Alma Coin, and I'm the president of District 13." She says and reaches her hand out to shake it, I reach my free hand out to shake her hand back.

"We originally thought we would be having this meeting with Katniss, but with unexpected events take place, we had to adapt to the sitation." She says, and I know what she means by unexpected event, she's talking about Briar's birth. "But, you and Briar are just as important as she is, we want the three of you to be the face of the rebellion."

"We're leaving Briar completely out of this." I say flatly.

Surprisingly, President Coin agrees to this. She tells me my schedule, which is basically training for strength and cardio. Hazel, Mrs. Everdeen, and Prim help out a lot with Briar, they all watch her at point during the day. After about two weeks of training, I'm notified that there was an emergency meeting that I must attend. I decided to pick up Briar from Hazel then walk down into the command center.

"So, we have a note from the capitol that Katniss will be doing a live interview." Haymitch says. I take my seat with Briar still in my arms, she still sleeps most of the time, but I can tell she's going to be just like Katniss.

The dress Katniss is wearing makes her look fatter than she really is. I can tell by her face that she's not eating much at all, she has bags under her eyes, I wonder when the last time she had slept. Her entire interview breaks my heart, she thinks that Briar and I are dead. I wish I could just take this pain away from her. After the interview was over, a peace keeper took her away, I can only imagine where they are keeping her.

"We have to get her out of there." I demand.

"It's too dangerous. Too many lives would be at risk." Coin says plainly.

I overreact to this a little, but they are torturing my Katniss, I don't want to grow old without her and I don't Briar not to have a mother in her life and then for me to have to explain why. "We're getting her out of there, or you could find a new Mockingjay."I say dead seriously.

"We'll work on it." I scream, how could Coin just sit there and let her basically die?

"No, we're going to get her out soon." I start to go out of control, I start screaming at everyone, one of the guards comes to take Briar away from me, I don't refuse, but I keep yelling at Coin. The last thing I could remember was Haymitch injecting some type of liquid in my arm then everything goes black.


	11. Chapter 11

**Happy Mother's Day to my mom, I love you so much, you made sure I had the best adoptive mom and dad in the world ;) I know it wasn't easy choosing adoption or raising me, but it was probably the best choice. Even though I don't know you, I hope one day I can meet you and Dad; and happy Mother's Day to my amazing and wonderful adoptive mother, I don't know where I would be without you...literally. You're always there for me when I'm sad about my other parents and all of my other problems and paying for my soccer expenses. I love you so much 3**

**So sorry I didn't update last night, I got home really late and was super tired and went straight to bed. Lol, anyway here's chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games**

**Katniss' POV**

They just leave me here. Alone. In this small room. Alone with my dark and depressing thoughts. All I can think about is Peeta and Briar. How are they? Are dead because of me. It's all of my fault. If the rebels shall win this war, I'll have no one left. If they killed Peeta and Briar, that shows me they also had no problem killing my family and Gale's family. I tear falls down my face at this thought. If I didn't pull out those stupid berries, and would have just killed myself, this would not have happened. But then the Hunger Games would continue on for how ever more many years, over 1800 innocent kids have already died from the Hunger Games, and they all had the same common goal: To get back home.

A peace keeper comes in to give me my food, it's just a slice of bread and a glass of water, I try to ration out the bread so I could eat it evenly for the rest of the day and for tomorrow, since I only get food every other day. My hunger makes me crave and eat the entire thing. This time the peace keeper also gave me a razor, I heard about these, it removes the hair less painfully than what my prep team would do, which I think they would pluck. My prep team. I wonder how they're doing. I wonder if Snow killed them off too? I try to shake that thought from my mind, but that would just be three more innocent people I basically killed. Because I know Cinna is dead, so four.

I also remember learning about razors at school, when we were studying about suicide and mental illnesses, how people use it to relieve pain, I think they cut themselves with it? I don't understand how that could make you feel better about yourself and how it makes you relieve pain.

The days pass by slowly. I don't like to sleep, mainly because I'm afraid they'll hurt me. I haven't seen anyone for days, I become stir crazy, there isn't really anything in the room that I can throw which makes me even madder. "Why Mrs. Mellark, I think you should calm down some, we want to try an experiment on you. He grabs my bicep and pinches it, I wince in pain but I follow him without a choice.

I'm taken to a room that is also white, that is like my cell but only larger. Much, much larger. When I walk in, there is a bed rest and next to it is a computer with wires. In front of the bed is a t.v.

"Ms. Everdeen, please come and lay down on the bed." A man says. I want to tell him that it's 'Mrs. Mellark', but I don't want to get him mad at me, so I just listen to what he says.

He picks up a needle and is about to put in my skin, "What's that?" I ask, that better not be going inside of me.

"Don't worry, we think that it will help with your depression. We had to get special permission from the rebels to use this." The man says. _Ohhh so he's with the rebels? I can trust him? But what if he's just saying that to gain my trust? _The man must notice that I don't believe him yet, but he shows me a watch with a mockingjay on it sort of like Plutarch's watch. _I wonder what they did with him._ _Was he rescued by rebels? Or is he dead because of me? Or maybe, just maybe, he's also being help captive here like me._

He slides a needle through my vain on my right wrist. I try to shake off the pain and then, they try to stick another one into my back, "We also want to see how you've been recovering since your pregnancy. And this the needle that does it." I nod and he slides the needle into my back area, this one hurts.

He starts to pump fluids from an iv into both places where the needle are. He then turns on the t.v., it's of Peeta and me. We're in the meadow, he pulls me in to kiss me, then he pulls a knife out of no where and then stabs me in the leg. Another doctor points to a wound on my leg and tells me this is from the knife Peeta stabbed me with. I don't remember this happening. I don't believe it. Peeta would never hurt me on purpose. Another hour passed of me watching these horror films of Peeta doing horrible things to me. And one even included of him killing our Briar. The baby WE made together, even though we didn't know it. Some were of us in the arena and he tried to kill me when I wasn't watching.

I was taken back into my cell. I look in the corner where I kept my razor. I remember saying that people used this to relieve pain. And I'm in so much mental pain right now, I put it up to my left wrist and pressed really hard and glided it horizontally across my wrist. At first it stung, it stung really bad but that feeling stopped and then it felt really good to feel the blood seeping out of my wrist. I decided to do it again. It had that amazing feeling. I then did it to both of my hips and top of my thighs.

Everyday for however many weeks, this was my routine: getting my food every other day, I'm taken to that same room where I watch horrible scenes of Peeta and me I used to love him more than anything, but people change, and I begin to cut. It still burns, but then it starts to feel better. Soon, they start to show me scenes of Haymitch, Prim, My mom, Gale and his family doing horrible things to me. I don't know who to trust, I guess I have those doctors who were showing me these horrible things because if there was a chance they were still alive, it was showing me what they can do to me.

Sometimes, I start to miss Peeta and Briar, because I could tell them anything, and I wouldn't be judged, even though I only knew Briar for a very short amount of time, I still loved her more than anything. I cried myself to sleep that night and several of the nights to follow.

* * *

"Mrs. Mellark, President Snow is having another interview for you." The peace keeper says. He unlocks my cell and brings me to a new stylist, I don't remember this one at all, but I'm sure she must have been a stylist for a district at one point. I'm in a room with the stylist,

"We're sending the planes out for bombs tomorrow." I hear a voice say outside in the hallway.

"Shhh. Ms. Everdeen is in the room right there." Another voice hisses. It doesn't take common sense to know they are talking about bombing District 13, since I'm sure many of the districts are already destroyed." _Are they really going to bomb 13? _

This time, I wear a dress that is skin tight, it shows how much weight I have lost. This dress is an ombre, similar to a dress I wore on the Victory Tour all of those months ago. I'm wearing absolutely no makeup, now the whole world can see how ugly I am. And in this dress, you can see some of the scars from my cuts. I wasn't given any lines on what to say, so I'm sure I will have to be really careful on what I'm going to say.

I'm escorted to the same place where the interviews for the Games take place. "Now, I'm sure you remember the Girl on Fire. Katniss Everdeen, or now Katniss Mellark." I hear Ceaser say, the crowd roars in response. I take this as my signal to walk out on stage. I look into the crowd and everyone of the capitol citizens that are there look absolutely ridiculous. Their hair, makeup, clothes, shoes, and everything else.

Ceaser greets me with a kiss on the check and has me sit down on a red velvet chair. "Katniss, I must say, your dress is perfect. It fits your body very well. Isn't orange Peeta's favorite color?" Ceaser asks.

Although in my last interview, Ceaser told me that Peeta was still alive, but it's just so hard to believe it. "Thank you. And yes Peeta's favorite color is sunset orange." I let a tear fall down. I may hate him right now from what all he has done to me, but another part of me loves him with all of my heart.

Ceaser gives me a sympathetic smile. His eyes goes down to my wrists even though he doesn't say anything, I'm sure he is wondering what happened there. The interview goes on and on, "Anything you want to add Katniss?" He asks. He is smiling, like no care in the world.

I take a deep breath, and I know the capitol guards are going kill me, long and painful death, but I need to save District 13. "District 13, the capitol is sending bombs to you tomorrow to kill you. Please take cover." I scream. I feel arms trying to close my mouth.

"End it! End it!" Another screams. Yep. I'm going to die. Slowly and painfully.

A peace keeper takes me down to my cell, "You stupid fucking worthless person. Now because of you, District 13 might actually live." He screams and starts to walk out, "Oh, by the way, I just received orders, no food for the rest of the week, and you'll water will be cut in half." He says and then actually leaves.

_Great. _I think, I'm starving and today is only Tuesday, so no food until Monday.

I continue to go to the room where the bed rest is and I have needles injected into my right wrist and my back area. And the scenes keep getting worse and worse of my friends, family, backstabbing me. And every time I come back to my cell from that room, I cut. Some days are only a few but some are a lot. It depends on how much pain I feel.

One day on the way to the room where the doctors hook me up to needles, I pass by a mirror, I pull up that long tshirt and notice I can clearly see my hip bones, my rib cage is clearly defined, the gap between my thighs is huge, and then I look at my face. I immanently regret that, my hair is matted and in several directions. I can't even remember the last time I brushed it. My eyes are really red, I guess from crying. My checks feel like they're stained from all of the tears. And then I can see the scars from the cuts. I don't regret cutting, but I wish they didn't leave scars because now, people will gossip over them...

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

I fall in to a routine, I somehow managed to convince Coin to get me out of my schedule so I can spend more time with Briar, since she needs at least one parent around. Right? With each day passing, I can tell she is more and more like Katniss. If she doesn't want to eat, she won't. If she doesn't want to go to sleep, she won't. Her hair is the same as Katniss', I can see her hair is turning into curls, like Katniss'. Every time I look at Briar, I want to break down crying because I see Katniss in her (she only has my eyes).

The last interview I saw of Katniss broke my heart, she thinks I am dead and Briar. But I'm not I can't help but feel for Katniss when I see her in that much pain. It was like when she was giving birth to Briar and how much pain she was in. I just wish I could go through that instead of her.

My nightmares cool down some, but Briar never sleeps in her crib, I guess it's more for me than for her, to have something of Katniss close to me. I set my alarm early because Briar has her two month doctor appointment. It's hard to believe that tomorrow it's been two months since the last time I saw Katniss.

At about three a.m., Briar wakes up and starts to cry. I sigh and roll out of bed and fix her bottle for her. I love being a parent, more than anything. But it's the most tiring job, and no one came prepare you for it, especially if you're playing the rolls of both 'mommy' and 'daddy'.

I fed Briar her bottle and went back to sleep. I awake to the alarm, I dress Briar in a pink sun dress. In 13, there is really no color but for babies clothes. And Briar is one of the only babies, so I want to add a little color for this place. I feed Briar another morning bottle change her diaper.

I grab Briar and her formula just in case I need to feed her again. I hold her with one of my arms and the baby bag with the other, the doctor said Briar should slowly start to sleep less during the day and more at night, but for us, this is the total opposite.

I sign in and wait in the lobby. I see a lot of other patients in the lobby as well. I can feel all of their eyes staring at me. When I look up and make eye contact with them, they just give me a sympathetic smile. I'm sure they all know what I'm going through right now. Katniss is missing out on Briar's life.

"Peeta Mellark?" A young women with blonde hair asked.

"Right here." I say and walk over and follow her to the room where the doctor will be preforming the check up on Briar. The woman weighs her and checks her temperature before taking us to the room.

"The doctor will be with you soon." She said and smilied. "I'm sorry about Katniss, I'm sure it won't be much longer before the capitol kills her. But I'm single. And I'm sure we could even make an even cuter baby than Briar." She said and put a hand on my shoulder.

I knock her hand off immanently. "Katniss isn't dead. And even if she was, I would never remarry. I love Briar and I'm doing the best I can to be the 'mom' and 'dad', and Briar is beautiful because I created her. Katniss and I created her together." I say clearly dismissing her. She leaves, I can tell she's pissed, bu I don't care. I'm pissed at her too.

I sit in one of the chairs in the room, "You're just like your mommy Briar. Your looks and your personality, besides you eyes, you got those from me." I say. She just looks up at me in amazement. "You're going to see mommy very soon. I promise." I just made a promise to a two month year old, I hope I can keep this promise.

The doctor comes in and checks up on Briar. He says she is a perfectly healthy baby. And that if I ever needed help with anything, his wife could help. I take acknolagement in this even though I have a ton of babysitters. I decided to swing by Prim's apartment in 13. I don't see her that often anymore because I've been so busy with Briar and she started working in the hospital.

At the Everdeen apartment, we sat and had some lunch. Mrs. Everdeen and Prim cooed over Briar and couldn't believe how much she looked like Katniss. I was walking out the door when Mrs. Everdeen stopped me, "I really appreciate you taking responsibility for Briar when Katniss couldn't be around. Briar will realize how truly blessed to have you as her father. I know we'll get her back, but it's hard holding on to something that might not be there tomorrow." I smile at that, I pull Mrs. Everdeen into a hug with Briar. I can feel my shirt become a little wet on my shoulder from her tears, but I didn't mind. But I'm still taken aback at how Mrs. Everdeen basically said I was a really good father.

I have had the same routine for another month now, Briar is three months old. There has been no mention of rescuing Katniss, I have been invited to a meeting tomorrow night, and I'm going to bring up Katniss and rescuing her.

For the first time in a long time, I lay Briar in her crib and lay down on the couch trying to grab a few extra hours of sleep. I close my eyes then I hear a knock on the door. I groan and get up. I look through the pep hole and it's Haymitch. "What do you want?" I asked annoyed.

"Coin wants to see you and Briar. She thinks that the capitol will be airing something you might want to see." Haymitch says. I really don't have a choice but to follow him. I pick up a still sleeping Briar and follow Haymitch to the command center.

"Why it's nice to see you Mr. Mellark and Briar." Coin says. There is something about this lady that I don't like. I don't know what it is, but she seams power-hungry. But I do know one thing, I don't trust her. I smile in return. "Now, I was watching some Capitol News, and they said something about an interview and Katniss, I think they will be showing Katniss live." Coin says.

When she says that, I glue my eyes to the t.v., I see Katniss walk out on the stage where Ceasaer is. I'm glad Ceaser is the one interviewing her, because he's one of the only few people in the capitol that I actually trust. Her dress is gorgeous. She's so beautiful. But she's so skinny. I swear she must have lost twenty pounds since the Arena, which is impossible because she doesn't have twenty pounds to lose. It was so pitiful so see her like this.

I thought the interview was over, but she screamed that we were going to be bombed. This catches me off guard, I then hear people yelling 'cut', the last thing I saw was peace keepers all over Katniss trying to control her and get her to shut up.

I look over at Coin, "What are we going to do?" I ask. She just stares at me dumb foundingly.

"Make sure everyone is safe." She says and picks up a mic that feeds out to all of the people in 13, "Attention, attention, this is urgent. We have recieved news that the capitol plans to bomb us, please make your way to level 101 immanently." She says.

"I mean what about Katniss. When can we rescue her? Because we all know that they are going to torture her now. She is hardly even eating anything. She's so small.

"We will rescue her when we can." Coin snaps at me and walks away. "You have ten minutes to get to level 101." She says and I follow.

* * *

Katniss was right, the bombs did hit, and it was horrible. I have to admit, I was scared. I tried not to show it because I had to be strong for Briar. Who I could also tell was scared because she would shiver. We were under cover for about a week before it was 'safe' to come out.

I'll never forget the one time Coin called me down to her office and told me we were going to rescue Katniss.

**A/N: Really crappy ending, but hoped you enjoyed it. Thanks to Brownieangel for leaving those two really long reviews. (:**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks to everyone who reviews, whenever I see I get an email in the middle of class and read them, they always make my day. Lol, I got a PM last night asking why I was adopted. Honestly, I don't know. But my mom was 15, a sophomore, and my dad was 16 and a junior in highschool. So I guess they just realized they couldn't raise me. **

**Peeta's POV**

I'm staring blankly into Coin's face. _Did she really just say we will rescue Katniss soon?_ "We're really going to rescue Katniss soon?" I ask in disbelief, maybe my ears were just playing tricks on me. I look down at Briar and realize that she might actually get to see her mom very soon. Coin just nods. A smile spreads across my face. I probably look dumb smiling like this.

"When are we going to get her. It can't be much longer because who knows how long she has left there?" I ask. Haymitch looks at Coin, and I see Coin shake her head.

"Son, you can't accompany us on this trip." Haymitch says "What if you get hurt and die? Briar would grow up without both of her parents. It's already bad enough she only has one parent right now." I want to object, but I know he is right, I need to stay here for Briar's sake. "Don't worry. Gale, Finnick, Johanna, and I will be going to her aid. Along with other troops that will also invade the capitol."

I nod my head. "When are you planning for departure?" I ask.

"Tomorrow." Coin says. I can't believe what my ears are hearing, _ are they really going to rescue Katniss tomorrow?_

I'm dismissed and I can't help but smile and smile at everyone I see. I'm sure I look dumb, but no one can even feel how happy, relieved I am. I know I should tell Mrs. Everdeen and Prim. I walk down the hall where their apartment they live in. I know Prim has been so worried about her older sister. Katniss is basically Prim's idol.

"Peeta." Mrs. Everdeen smiles. "You look so happy. We were just about to have dinner, please you can join us." She opens the door and lets Briar and I in.

"Mom, who was that at the door?" Prim asks at the table waiting for her dinner. "Peeta." She says and gets up to give me a hug.

I greet Prim and we settle down for dinner. Mrs. Everdeen offers to hold Briar while we eat, I don't object. We were eating some lamb stew. For most people in District 13, they have to eat in the cafeteria, but if you help in the hospital you are welcomed to eat home cooked meals in your apartment because your schedule can be so hectic.

"Peeta, can you please tell me what you're smiling about?" Mrs. Everdeen asks. When she was told Katniss was taken by the capitol and possibly dead or going to be soon killed, I thought for sure Mrs. Everdeen would fall back into her depression, the same one she fell in when Mr. Everdeen died and completely forget about Prim and leave Prim to fend for herself. But to my surprise, Mrs. Everdeen started to take care of Prim and actually act like a mother.

"I was planning to tell you over dinner, bu I was called in for a meeting with Haymitch and Coin, and they said we would be rescuing Katniss." I can see both of their faces had smiles plastered on them just like my smile was. "And there is more, Gale, Johanna, Finnick, Haymitch and other troops are planning to leave for the rescue tomorrow." Prim starts to cry and I pull her into a hug where she cries more into my stomach area. I can only imagine how good of news this is to her.

After dinner was over, I said good bye and Briar and I went to bed. Like normal, Briar wakes up multiple times and I feed her her bottle and change her diaper. Since the bombings, there has been some debre every where and the doctor gave me some anitbiotics for Briar to have because her immune system isn't as strong as a breast fed children are. And obviously I can't breast feed her.

I wake up at the sound of my alarm. I take a quick shower and get Briar dressed. I'm hoping I can say a final good bye to all of those rescuing Katniss and how much Briar and I appreciate their sacrifice.

As I get at the launching dock, I can see thousands of troops being sent to the capitol, they must have another mission than to rescue Katniss. The last to load are Gale, Johanna, Finnick, and Haymitch. Briar and I sneak up on them. I pull them into a group hug. "Thank you so much for doing this." I say and a tear falls.

"No problem kid. We miss Brainless just as much as you do." Johanna smirks and walks onto the plane that will fly them to the capitol. I let the rest load before I pull Gale and Haymitch aside.

"Please get her." I say with desperation in my voice.

"We will. I swear." Haymitch says. "And I'll even stay sober." He adds to lighten up the situation. But I'm just so nervous for when they find Katniss and bring her back to all of her family.

The hovercraft launches, and they're gone. Just like that. And hopefully returning just like that but with my wife.

* * *

**Gale's POV**

I walk onto the hovercraft. I don't really know what to expect. I've never been to the capitol, but the way Katniss and Peeta had described it, it was beautiful, but sick in a way. Normally the ride would be about two days, but we don't have two days to waste by traveling so Bettee managed to build a hovercraft that should get us to the capitol in under a hour. The things that man can invent. For him, the sky is the limit...literally.

I sigh, remembering Peeta's plea to Haymitch and I. I love Katniss, but Peeta makes her happy and if she's happy, I'm happy. I can only imagine how hard this must be for Peeta. I think I'm broken not being able to see her. But Peeta has to raise and basically take care of Briar himself. It's unbelievable how much Briar looks like Katniss, Briar always reminds me of Katniss when I see her. I wonder how that makes Peeta feel. I decide to shake that feeling off and just concentrate on getting Katniss out alive.

"We're about to land in the capitol." A mechanical voice says. "Remember, our spies think Katniss was kept in the left wing of the prison we must act quick and hope they don't pick up on this plan. Remember, she is the priority here."

I take a deep breath and let it out. This could be the end of me. The hover craft landed. I get up from the chair I was in. Haymitch said that the troops shall exit first to clear the pathway of danger, but he also said we need to hurry before the capitol realizes something is not right.

As I'm exiting I'm given a gun and a pocket knife for protection. I take an extra jacket in case Katniss needs it. Finnick, Johanna, Haymitch and I run down the streets of the capitol. I follow the three of them because they all have been on a victory tour through the capitol so they know the way to the prison, which is suspected to be under President Snow's mansion.

After a three mile long jog, I look up in aw at the house that lies in front of me. The streets are torn up destroyed, and on fire. But this house hasn't been touched. I recognize it from the Victory Tour that we are required to watch: It's President Snow's mansion.

"Come one, we don't have much time." Haymitch says and leads us underground through this passage way. I wonder how many people actually know that this is here. We walk down stair cases that are all white, the walls are white as well. I don't think there is any color. We travel for a while. "I think they might be keeping Brainless somewhere else, it's no use." Johanna says giving up. We've been walking for a long time, but I promised this to Peeta and to Briar.

"Let's keep going for a little while longer, we all made an unspoken promise to bring Katniss back home for Peeta, but also for Briar, to have her mom also raise her." I say. It took a lot more convincing, but we kept moving. To my surprise, it isn't heavily guarded, but we keep moving.

"I'm so hungry. God, can you please just kill me already? I'm ready to die. I've served my time in here for all of the sins I did. Like hunting in the woods." I hear a familiar voice say from down a hallway. _Oh my gosh, is that really Katniss?_ I'm about to say something but Haymitch holds a finger up to his lips telling me to be quiet, we don't want anyone to find us now especially because we came this far. And plus, who knows what they would do to Katniss.

"Johanna, Gale, and Finnick." Haymitch whispers to us. "Stay here, I'm going to somehow get Katniss and then we'll need to bust ass to get the hell out of here." Haymitch says and carefully walks a little farther down the hall. It didn't take him long before he was able to open the cell.

"Please don't hurt me. Please don't kill me." I hear her plead.

"Sweetheart, I would never hurt you, but I need you to shut up so we can safely escape from this." He says. Katniss agrees, but her words sting me, _hurt her? Kill her? What have they done to her?_

Katniss is dressed in a long white tshirt that looked like it hadn't been washed in ages, and that probably is correct. I can see scars from something along her wrists. I wonder what they did do to her.

The journey back to the hovercraft was long, but we managed to escape pretty easily considering we just kidnapped the person who basically started the rebellion, we took down a peace keeper here and there but no real trouble.

We boarded the hovercraft, Haymitch carried her most of the way, and then I carried her the rest. She fell asleep about halfway through the journey. We brought her to the medical part of the hovercraft to get some basic idea with what we would have to treat.

The doctor said she was dangerously underweight and that she was dehydrated. I sit next to her for when she wakes up, she won't completely go insane. I watch her as she flutters her eyes open. "Gale?"

"Yes it's me Katniss. Don't worry, we rescued you from the capitol and now we're going to take you back to Peeta and your daughter Briar. They're both still alive." I say.

She looks at me in the eyes and then starts to break down in tears. "Please don't hurt me, please don't. I already hate myself enough. No need for even more scars. I can't see Peeta, he helped do this to me." She says.

So they must have tortured her. I look at her wrists, they're sliced with cuts. Along with some of thighs and hips. "Katniss, why did you cut yourself?" I ask. I couldn't believe that the Katniss Everdeen, or Katniss Mellark broke down and started to cut.

"They threw me a razor with my bread one day. I remember learning about them and how when people are in pain, they cut themselves with it to relieve pain. And it feels amazing Gale." She tries to convince me.

I don't respond, I look down at my feet. When I look back up to respond, she's asleep. I kiss her forehead and walk back to where Haymitch, Johanna, and Finnick are. "How is she?" Finnick asks.

"They tortured her. She started to cut herself to help with the pain. I don't know what they possibly could have done though." I say.

"We will be landing in District 13 right now." The same mechanical voice from earlier says. Haymitch picks up Katniss and walks through the open doors, outside **awaits** a crowd of people, including Peeta and Briar.

**ehhhh, this is short, but better than nothing right? lol, thank you so much for all of those writers who review often. (: I'll try to update my other story tmw and along with the other part of this chapter as well.**


	13. Chapter 13

**+++Hey, sorry for not updating sooner. But the last chapter, I said that she forgave Gale easily, just forget that never happened, +++++++++**

**Katniss' POV**

I wake up in a plain white room. I figure it's a new hospital room in the capitol. I faintly remember seeing Gale, Haymitch, Johanna, and Finnick in my dream. I never dream about them. The only time I see Haymitch and Gale is in the videos the capitol shows me for my daily treatment. But in my dream it was me being rescued by the rebels. _Was it true?_

At that moment Gale walks in. He looks rough. I guess that answers my question about being rescued. _Unless, he's trying to kill me. Yeah, I was better off with the capitol, where I could starve to death in safety basically. __  
_

Gale quickly walks over to me and tries to pull me into a hug. His arms wrap tightly around me. I squirm trying to get free, but his arms are to strong, so I do the only thing I know how to do in this situation, scream. "HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME. PLEASE HELP ME. SOMEONE HELP PLEASE." I scream, Gale backs away and his facial expression is confused wondering what the hell just happened.

Several guards, Haymitch, Finnick, and I think Johanna rush inside the room. They all have the same confused look Gale has. "Catnip, it's just me, Gale." He says, I feel guilty for screaming like that, he doesn't seem like the kind of person to kill, but one can never be too careful,especially on what I learned about Haymitch. It turns out Haymitch had tried to kill me in my sleep, not just once or twice, but three times. A part of me wants to break down crying and apologize for screaming like that, but another part doesn't because he was going to kill me right?

"Sweetheart, it's just Gale." Haymitch says, his voice is calm and soothing. He reaches his arm out to touch my shoulder.

I quickly swat it away, remembering all of the videos the capitol showed me containing a variety of different people who are important to me. I'm so confused, I don't know who I can trust. You think you know a guy, but after the capitol showed me all of the videos, it made me second guess on who I can trust. "I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to gain my trust, then, then you all will kill me. When I'll least expect it." I say at them.

I look over in the corner and I see Finnick and Johanna. _Them. I think I can trust them. _I look over at them and plead to them with my eyes. "Haymitch, Gale, let us see her. And we'll see how she reacts with us." Finnick steps up and says. Gale and Haymitch are reluctant at first, but then agree and step out of the room.

Both Finnick and Johanna walk over to my hospital bed. "They're going to kill me. You have to get me out of here, away from them." I say. I can feel a tear slide down my face. I'm now trembling with fear.

"They're not going to hurt you. I can promise you that." Finnick reasures. I shake my head. I show him some of the scars that I have because of both of them. And I tell him the videos I was shown of them two.

"Don't worry. When we get back to 13, which shouldn't be too much longer. And you can see Peeta. He sure has missed you, part of the reason why you were rescued was because of him always bugging us about it, and I thought you could get pretty annoying sometimes." Johanna chips in.

_Peeta? No, I can't see Peeta. _I furiously shake my head. Johanna and Finnick stare at me with blank faces. "Peeta is the one who made up the plan to kill me. They're going to kill me. Peeta even killed our daughter. I can't see him because then for sure he'll kill me. Please, don't let him near me. Or my family, or Gale's, or Peeta, or Peeta's family (**a/n Peeta's family is still alive right now**). Please." I plead.

Finnick is about to respond before a mechanical voice comes on instead. "Attention, we are landing in District 13 right now." I look at him, I hope he can help me. I need someone who I can trust.

"Lets go." He says. Finnick takes my hand and then walks me to the entrance of the hovercraft. I slowly walk, mainly because I don't have a lot of strength to walk fast. When the door opens I see some people. Including Peeta, and a little girl? Is she mine? No, I'm sure Peeta gave up hope on me and then found someone else. It wouldn't surprise me, he deserved someone so much better anyway...

The way Peeta's eyes light up when he sees me is unreal. He hands the girl to my sister? It looks like Prim, I think it's her. Peeta comes up to me to hug me, but Finnick quickly stops him and whispers something in his ear. Peeta nods, Finnick takes my arm and leads me down a hallway. Turn after turn and elevator after elevator he leads me to a large lobby. It doesn't take someone smart to know that this is a hospital. "Finnick." I whisper, "Why am I hear."

Finnick thinks about it for a minute, which normally means that they're trying to hid something. "To run tests on you to make sure you're okay from the capitol." He says. He sits me down on a chair and he sits next to me. I eye Peeta carefully when he sits a few chairs away from me. "Katniss Mellark." A doctor says.

"Who's Katniss Mellark." I whisper a little too loudly to Finnick. This makes Peeta pipe up his head and closely listen to our conversation.

"He's your husband, and Briar's daddy." Finnick whispers back, "What did they do to you in the capitol?"

I decide not to question him because he'll go into a deeper conversation, and I decide not to answer the question because I don't want to go back into my memory and relive those days in hell.

The doctor comes to get me and tries to take me into a room, I keep eyeing her carefully, but she seems all too familiar. _She's my mom. _One of the videos the capitol showed me was slowly and brutally murdering my father, I love my father so much but she had to take him away from me, I don't want her to do the same to me... "SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME. PLEASE HELP. I DON'T WANT HER TO KILL ME LIKE SHE DID MY FATHER." I scream this, many nurses appear in the hallways, I remember hearing murmuring before I feel something pointy penetrate my skin and everything goes black.

* * *

I wake up surrounded by nurses, I stare into their eyes and they stare into mine. "Ms. Everdeen, where are you?" One asks.

_I'm in the capitol. No, wait. I was rescued because I remember seeing Peeta with a little girl. _"I'm in District 13." I state plainly.

"Very good." Another says. "Now, what's your husbands name and your daughter's name?"

_A daughter? So was that girl Peeta holding mine? No, because President Snow said that he killed her. But he also said that he killed Peeta. And I'm pretty sure I saw Peeta. Maybe she is my daughter._.. she looked like me.

"I don't have a husband." I say flatly, "But I do have a daughter, her name is Briar? That's what I wast told." It's all coming back to me slowly, well this is progress. The doctors don't say anything about me saying I don't have a husband, but I fall back asleep, I don't trust some people here in District 13, but I can trust some, and I think the doctors, besides my mom, are one of them.

When I wake up, I adjust to the light, I think I've been moved to another room. I see a familiar figure in the room sitting on a chair. "Katniss, you're awake." It says.

"Peeta?" I ask. I think it's Peeta. It looks like Peeta.

"Yes, Katniss, it's me." He says and strides over to my bed rest in attempt to hug me.

It's all happening so fast. Peeta's walking over to hug me, it's too late to flee the room, so my only self defense is to curl up in a ball and hope for the best, maybe he could make this death fast so I'll suffer less pain. Peeta wraps his arms around me tightly, "Please don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me." I mumble and I can feel the tears flow down my checks.

"Hurt you? Katniss I would never hurt you." Peeta says. I look into his crystal blue eyes, I want to believe him, but I've seen video footage of him hurting me. I don't know why, but I let him hug me. I cry into his shoulder.

Peeta holds me loner and then pulls away. He looks at my wrists seeing my cutting scars. "Katniss, why would you do this to yourself?" He asks his eyes full of concern and worry.

"I felt so bad and I remember learning about people using razors to relieve pain, and then it just felt so right." I stopped crying a while ago, but the tears come right back up.

"Oh Katniss," Peeta says and pulls me into a tight hug. I continue to cry into his chest and he just holds me, "Katniss, you have to promise me something." He says. I look up at him and see that he has been crying a little too, I nod for him to continue, "You can't keep cutting yourself. You may not think anyone needs you, but I do. So does Briar. She needs you. She hasn't even seen her mom in a months, which is basically her whole life."

A guard comes in and tells Peeta that he must leave, I don't understand why but when I look at my wrist that has a wristband 'mentally disoriented' it said. I repeated it to myself several times. These doctors in the hospital now lost all of my trust, do they not realize that words hurt? _Mentally Disoriented? _I can read, I'm not that stupid, or at least as stupid as they think I am.

The days pass by slowly, I have the same routine. I get my food, Peeta tries to visit me as much as possible, film some propos for the war, shown real footage of my Games, try to trust Gale, Haymitch, and my family again. Until one day, exactly two months after I was rescued, I worked up the nerve and asked Peeta something. It took me months for the nerves, but it's now or never.

"Peeta?" I ask, he looks up from reading something President Coin gave him. I've met her a few times, but to me personally, I think that she could almost be worse than Snow if given the chance.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"Our daughter, can I see her?" I ask, I'm mumbling the words. I don't think I should be embarrassed about this, but I haven't seen her since she was only a few hours old, and is she's five months right?

Peeta is speechless about this, "Umm, I'll have to talk to the doctors about this, but we'll see what we can do." Peeta says. At first when I asked them, they said no, when I asked them for a second time, they said no, the third time, they still said no, but on the fourth time, they said yes, but I had to learn to trust again. First it was learning trust with Haymitch, I learned to trust him, it took me a while, but I learned how to. Prim and Gale didn't take long at all. But my mother, it took the longest, I guess because it was because the video I was shown of her was the worst and most painful.

It took about a month to gain control over myself, and at this point Briar was about six months old. Peeta told me she hasn't said her first word yet and she's started to crawl. I cannot thank Peeta enough for taking care of Briar when I couldn't. But a part of me feels incredibly guilty because Briar grew up without her mother for six months, her whole life basically.

Peeta, Haymitch, doctors and guards come in my room. Peeta is holding Briar and I am taken back with how much she looks like me. She has my olive skin, my hair, her hair is turning slightly curly, and according to Peeta she also has my stubborn personality.

Peeta walks over to me and carefully places Briar in my lap. Briar looks at me in the eyes and then starts to look back at Peeta and begins to cry. Peeta rushes to her side and picks her up to comfort her. "What did I do wrong?" I ask. I can't believe the first time holding Briar in about six months she cried and didn't want me.

"You did nothing wrong Katniss." A doctor says, "She just doesn't know you. Studies show when a baby is in it's mother's womb, their mother's heartbeat comforts them, I'm think if you start to breastfeed her, she might learn that you are her mother. Right now, she thinks Peeta is her mother because he's the one who has been taking care of her."

I just nod, hoping that he's right.

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

I remember seeing Katniss for the first time when she first stepped out of the hovercraft. She was so skinny, like it was months ago since her last meal, I wanted to go up to her, but when Finnick whispered in my ear 'We don't know how she'll react with you, she thought Haymitch and Gale were going to kill her' I knew they must have done something to her in the capitol. It was hard seeing her in the mental state she was in. Briar grew every day, much like Katniss, she was stubborn, but believe it or not, she is something like me. I think.

When I first approached Katniss, it broke my heart hearing her beg me not to hurt her. And I lost it when I saw the cuts on her wrist, I made her get help. It turns out that she also had cuts on her thighs and hips, I asked her why she did this, and she said it was to relieve some pain. It shattered my heart when she said this is how she released pain. I'm sure that the cuts must have been really painful, so I wonder how much pain the capitol put me through.

When she was here for a few months, she asked me if she could see Briar, it took us a while before we could convince the doctors to let us, but once we did, we made an agreement that she would have to learn how to trust Haymitch, Gale, Prim, and her mother again. It took her about a month, and you could see in her eyes how determined she was to get better and visit her daughter.

And after all of her hard work, it was finally time that she could see Briar. I walked in the room with Haymitch, doctors and guards and of coarse Briar. Katniss was anxious to hold her, but when she did Briar started to cry and Briar looked back at me for me to pick her up.

"What did I do wrong?" Katniss asked clearly heartbroken about Briar.

"You did nothing wrong Katniss." A doctor says, "She just doesn't know you. Studies show when a baby is in it's mother's womb, their mother's heartbeat comforts them, I'm think if you start to breastfeed her, she might learn that you are her mother. Right now, she thinks Peeta is her mother because he's the one who has been taking care of her."

I took Briar back to our apartment, I gave her a bath in the sink and when I was redressing her, I decided that I would talk to her like I normally do. "Briar, that lady was your mama." I say.

Briar looks up at me with her large gray eyes. "Mama?" She asked. _Her first word. Her very first word and it was _'mama', a women she barely even knows.

I decided to act like it was no big deal and continue talking, "Yes, Mama, she was very sad and you make her very happy." I say. She doesn't reply, not that I expected her too, but she thinks about it. I make a mental note to tell Katniss that Briar looks like her when she thinks.

At one of Briar's recent doctors appointments, the doctor told me that I should have Briar start sleeping in her own crib, but Katniss still is held in the hospital, and I just can't seam to let Briar go if Katniss isn't next to me in bed. Briar started to sleep through the whole night. I fell asleep with Briar in my arms.

The next morning I find Finnick and Haymitch in my kitchen cooking me breakfast. I don't know why because no one has cooked me breakfast before, except Katniss, but she burnt everything so that doesn't count. I left Briar sleeping in her bed because I don't want to wake her from a peaceful sleep. "What are you guys doing in here?" I ask.

"Well, I just decided to accompany Finnick." Says Haymitch and lays his feet on the couch.

"I'm getting married to Annie on Saturday and I was wondering if you wanted to be my Best Man and Katniss could be the Maid of Honor and Briar would be the Flower Girl." I grinned at this thought. Annie was a girl who also won the Games, but became mentally insane after them. During her Games, she won because the Arena exploded or something and she happened to be the best swimmer, but she also hit her head on rocks causing her to hallucinate really bad and suffer some brain damage. She zones in and out of this world very often and no one questions it. When Finnick was first reunited with her, he would never let go of her hand. It's like if he did, he'll die or she'd be taken from him and never return, and in a way, I'm sure Finnick is one of the only people keeping her somewhat sane. It's amazing on how Finnick loves Annie so much even though she's gone mad. He doesn't love any of the capitol lovers, but some poor mad girl back from his home district.

I grin at this news and graciously accept the offers for all three of us. I hope Katniss and I could get remarried. On today's visit with Katniss, I decided I could bring Briar with me. When I walk in the room with Briar, Katniss' face lights up. I haven't fed her this morning and the doctor shows Katniss how to breastfed Briar, at first Briar was reluctant to latch on, but she did.

While Briar was feeding, I sat next to Katniss and had my arm around her shoulder. "Finnick and Annie are getting married this weekend. And were wondering if you wanted to be the Maid of Honor and Briar to be the Flower Girl. I'm already the Best Man." Katniss nods her head eagerly and I lean in to kiss her, this is our first kiss since sometime during the Quell, and I miss her lips. How soft and gentle they are. We may not be the perfect family, but we're working on it.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm so sorry I haven't updated, but remember my friend I told you about who was cutting and tried to kill herself? Well, this time she succeeded. She was turning 15 tomorrow... Please before you bully someone, just remember you don't know what they're going through at home, you don't know their family issues. You may never know who negative your words can be on people. So this chapter is dedicated to Lauren, RIP beautiful angle. So I'm sorry if the next few chapters are sort of depressing for you. And thank you to everyone for reviewing, I don't always respond to them, but I read each and every one of them. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. **

**Katniss' POV**

Finnick offered that Peeta, Briar and I could be included in his wedding. I don't think I've ever met Annie, his future wife, before. But Peeta told me that she won the Games about five or six years ago. Once he described the arena she was in, I remember it, it was my last Games before my dad died. I remember seeing her in the interviews with Ceaser how innocent and beautiful she looked. But Peeta said when she hit her head on the rocks when the arena exploded, she went mad. She zones in and out many times, even worse than me, and that says a lot. Because when I zone out, I exclude the world, even the ones closest to me.

"Katniss." Annie sequels as I walk in the dressing room. She runs up and gives Briar and I hug. Briar has learned to like me, even though she still prefers Peeta over me, at least I'm in her life. And I wouldn't miss it for the world. Annie seems so excited about her wedding, she completely forgot to introduce herself to me. But it doesn't matter because I already know who she is. From the outside, she seems normal, caramel colored hair and the trademark green sea eyes of District 4, but you can tell something isn't quite right with her. The way she gets overly excited and how she thinks people are going to kill her when they really are only trying to help her...that sounds like me.

The bridesmaids dresses were beautiful. I was the Maid of Honor, my dress was a sky blue, and so was Briar's. Annie's dress was a green. It made sense on incorporating blue and green into their District colors into their wedding. But it makes me wonder how that District 13 can be so plain, but how their wedding is going to be so colorful.

Briar, crawled down the aisle, she tried to stand and walk, but only made it a few steps before she fell and landed on her butt. Peeta escorted me down the aisle, I don't ask, but I'm pretty sure Annie's family and Finnick's family died because they're no where to be seen. Haymitch escorted Annie down the aisle, I guess Annie is family to him as well. But victors are a family, they all escaped death, and for some, we escaped the death through multiple arenas. The wedding ceremony is beautiful, there were flowers everywhere. It makes me wonder again how District 13 is so white and dull, but have a beautiful colorful wedding. The whole population attended except for those who are needed in the medical center. Plutarch filmed their wedding to use it as a 'propo' to show the capitol that we're still thriving despite our current living situation.

At the after party, Peeta and I dance sometimes with Briar. I sit down by the refreshment table with Briar and Peeta. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder and look at Briar who is staring right back at me. "Catnip." I look up and see Gale, I haven't had a conversation with him in a while, but it's nice to know that maybe he can forgive me about Peeta and I for marrying. And maybe even for Briar, even though we didn't actually know about her until I was in labor. "My family wants to see you and Briar." He gives me a hand up and I accept it. I look over at Peeta to make sure he is okay for me going with Gale, he nods his head and I follow Gale.

His family is across the reception area, _Gale's family? Didn't they want to kill me too? No, maybe it's something from the capitol like how they convinced me that Peeta, Gale, my family, and several over people were going to try and kill me. _I'm not sure what's true, but I've learned to trust Gale, and if he thinks that his family is safe, then maybe they are safe.

"Katniss!" Posy screams, well at least I think her name is Posy, she comes over to hug me. I return her hug. She says hello to Briar and so does Gale's two other younger brothers. Posy seems to have grown since I saw her all those months ago, was it six? Seven? I can't remember, but she is beautiful looking.

"Katniss, you look amazing." Hazel said to me. She pulled me into a hug, she also hugged Briar. "Briar cannot look anymore like you." She says.

"Thank you." I say, still smiling.

Hazel sees that Posy has wondered off somewhere and is quick to find her. "Well, I got to go now Katniss, Posy ran off. Be sure to enjoy them when they are younger, it's truly amazing." She says and leaves.

I'm holding Briar in my arms when I realized what she had said, _Enjoy them while they are younger, it's truly amazing. _Well, I've done a terrible job at that, I've missed Briar's first half year of her life basically, I wasn't there for her when she needed me. In the hospital I was told that a baby stays calm in their mother's womb by listening to their heartbeat, and then know their mother when they hear her heartbeat. And that thing that Hazel said couldn't make me feel any more guiltier. "Want to go see Daddy?" I ask Briar, Briar was staring off into the distance, but when she heard 'daddy', she immanently looked up at me.

"Dada?" She said. _She said her first word. Briar said her very first word. And it's 'dada'. _I'm a little sad that her first word wasn't 'mama', but Briar hasn't known me for that long, she probably even trusts Peeta more than me. Peeta has practically raised her her entire life currently.

I carry her back over to Peeta, he's still sitting on the same chair he was when I left. "Hey." Peeta says and walks over to Briar and me.

"She said her first word." I blurted out loudly, but soft enough only he could hear it.

"What was it?" He asks, his blue eyes are practically shining.

"Dada." I say.

Peeta's eyes are filled with amazement and joy and pride. "Wow, her very first word was 'dada'." He repeats to himself.

"Don't be bragging, she'll say 'mama' soon enough." I say with a chuckle. My mother and Prim offered to watch Briar while we enjoy ourselves at the wedding party. We both graciously agree because that means we will have some peace and quiet.

We're dancing in silence to a slow song, I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder while he holds his hands on my back making sure I'm as close as possible to him. "Peeta." I say.

"Yes Katniss?" He replies in a soft and soothing voice that gives sends shivers down my back.

"What do your parents think about Briar?" I ask him. I know Peeta's family survived the bombing, I remember Haymitch telling me about it. But Peeta never brought it up. What did Peeta's family think about Briar? I know his dad and two older brothers Rye and Will would love Briar, but it's Peeta's mom that would hate her, because "I'm not good enough for Peeta" "I'm a rat from the seam", in a way, she's right, Peeta deserves so much better than me, but I hope he never leaves me because I don't know what I could ever do without Peeta by my side.'

"Oh, um, they don't know about her yet." Peeta says uncomfortably.

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

I knew Katniss would wander what my family thought of Briar one day. I'm sure my dad and two older brothers Rye and Will would love being uncles and a grandpa to Briar, it's my mom who I have to worry about. My mom never liked Katniss, or anyone from the seam really. When my dad would trade with Katniss or her dad, he always made sure my mom wasn't around. I know if my mom ever Katniss trading wild game, she would have reported her immanently.

"Why haven't you told them?" Katniss asks. _Well because my mom hates you. _That's a good way to tell her.

"How about after the party ends, we go and tell them with Briar." I promise her, she nods and we continue dancing for another several hours, enjoying ourselves like a normal teenage couple should.

* * *

"Come on Peeta." Katniss says dragging Briar and me down the white hallways down to their apartment. I'm not ready to tell my family about Briar, well mainly my mom about Briar, but they need to find out about her eventually.

"This is it." I say stopping Katniss from going any further down the hallway. I take a deep breath and knock on the door. I mentally prepare myself for the worse on what they have to say about Katniss and Briar, who just said her very first word hours ago.

The door opens and my luck it's my dad, "Peeta, I haven't seen you in months. Everyone always told us you were busy." He says, _busy taking care of Briar and then Katniss. And having mental breakdowns about never seeing Katniss again.._

"Yeah, Dad, it's a long story and I don't know how I can explain this so can I talk to you and the rest of the family inside?" I say. I can tell he's staring at Briar who is now in Katniss' arms. He probably doesn't suspect a thing, considering how much Briar looks like Katniss and almost nothing like me.

"Who was that at the door?" I hear my mom yell from the living room.

"It's Peeta and Katniss. And they both want to tell all of us something." He replies. I silently thank him for not mentioning Briar yet. As we walk a little farther into their apartment, I notice that their's is a lot smaller than mine and Briar's and soon Katniss'. I wonder if it's because of our 'position'.

"Who does that thing belong to?" My mom asks pointing over to Briar who is staring around at the four unfamiliar figures surrounding us. I look at my mother's eyes. Harsh and cruel. Then over to my dad's, warm and loving. I wonder how the hell he ever ended up agreeing to marry her. "I'm waiting." She snaps again. Katniss and I both try to find the words to try to explain to them about who Briar is. "If that thing has anything to do with that seam rat, you need to leave."

"She's not a seam rat, her name is Katniss Mellark." I snap back, I emphasize the name Mellark and hope to get a reaction from her. "And the baby isn't a thing, her name is Briar Evangeline Mellark, and she is Katniss' and I's daughter, the one that surprised us both in the arena." I say.

"We were told Briar died in the arena." My older brother Rye says. "Coin told us that, to try and get us to stop worrying." I can't believe what Coin said, I knew I didn't like her for some reason and I think I just found one my reasons not to like her.

"Well, she's here now. And the doctor said she's very healthy considering she was born in the arena." I say stroking my daughter's head full of brown hair.

"She seems pretty healthy considering who's daughter that is." I stare at my mom trying to figure out what she means, "I mean, she has that seem rat as a mother, I'm surprised she isn't dead. Who knows what that rat carries. I still want that DNA test, I hear that some people will pay young women with food or money for them to sleep with him and some to have sex." My mom continues. I can't believe she just said that about Katniss.

I look over at Katniss who has the tears streaming down her face, Briar looks at her in confusion not sure what to make out on this situation. Katniss looks back over at my dad and brothers who are staring right back at her. Katniss hands Briar over to me who is still confused. Katniss walks over to the door, but before she leaves she says, "I'm sorry I ruined your son's life. I'm sorry that I love him. I'm sorry I was held hostage by the capitol. I'm sorry for being from the seam. I'm sorry for not dying in the Games. I'm sorry I held out the berries instead of killing myself. I'm sorry I didn't die of starvation when I was younger. I'm sorry I volunteered for Prim. I'm sorry for having that dumb wristband in the hospital saying I am 'mentally disoriented " I can't stand seeing Katniss like this, pouring out her heart without my arms comforting her, but what she says next is what shattered my heart, "And I'm sorry for existing and for being born. I should be dead by now right? I think I should be too." And leaves.

My dad's and brother's faces have guilt all over them, and my mom looks like she doesn't even care. "That baby may not be your's Peeta, I still want a DNA testing, but for now, can I see my granddaughter before that rat returns?" My mom asks.

I can't believe she just insulted my wife, makes her run away crying, and now expects to hold her granddaughter. "No." I say, "No." I confirm. "You just insulted my wife, she may be _your _granddaughter, but I will not have my daughter around this type of discrimination." I say and walk out.

I want to look for Katniss and hope that she doesn't take the things my mom said about her too personally. I walk out of the door looking to my left and right. I'm not sure which was or where Katniss went. If I want to find Katniss, I have to think like Katniss. Well, she would go up in a tree or in the woods, but we're underground, so that won't workout. I don't know where Katniss would go. "Where would your Mommy go?" I ask Briar.

I look at Briar, she looks like she is in mid thought before talks, "Mama?" She asks. I chuckle at this, her second word is 'mama' if only Katniss could have heard it, she would be delighted. I could imagine the smile Katniss would plaster on her face when she heard Briar talk.

"Yes, Mama." I laugh a little and kiss her forehead. Briar grins and then hides her face into my neck. I stroke her brown hair, I can tell it's starting to turn into soft curls, something else she inherited from Katniss. I remember Prim telling me a while ago that when Katniss needed to get away from something and she couldn't use the woods, she would hide in closets. Well, there are tons of closets her in 13.

* * *

Briar and I spent hours looking in closets, even the supply closet, and Gale told me that was her favorite one too. I still haven't checked the one in our room yet, Katniss was released from the hospital a few days ago and has been living with Briar and I since. I used the key to open the door, I put Briar down in her crib before I look for Katniss.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

I sort of cant' believe what Peeta's mom said to me. What she said took me back to looking at the bracelet I had on in the hospital which labeled me as 'mentally disoriented'. If we were back home, I would be heading to the woods for a few hours to escape, but I can't since we're underground. Gale got to convince them to let him hunt, but I'm not allowed to, which ties back to the whole mentally disoriented thing. Instead of the woods, I make do with a closet in our apartment. When I walk past the bathroom, I see something that takes my eye. It's a razor, _maybe just one time. _I think to myself. _Just one time to relieve all of this pain._ I haven't cut in months, but the temptation is huge now and especially because I'm alone with a razor and my thoughts.

I take the razor and hold it up to my wrist. I press down hard and slice my skin. I feel the blood ooze out, which stings at first, but still leaves me unsatisfied. _Just one more. _One more turned into three more. I put down the razor, not bothering to clean up any blood on the floor. And I walk into the closet. I look at my wrists and see how ugly they are. I look at my hips and thighs and see all of the scars from the blade I used to relieve pain. It soon hits me that one day, I'll have to tell Briar about these scars. And why I have them and I why I did this to myself.

I continue crying my eyes out for another hour before falling asleep. I'm awaken by a light, I notice that Peeta is hovering above me. "Katniss, I was so worried." He says. And I remember the reason why I left him with his family. I start to cry again, I hate that I have been crying, it makes me feel so vulnerable and weak. When I need to be strong. "Katniss, I'm so sorry what happened with my mom. Don't listen to her. I'm so happy that you're alive and living right now." Peeta hugs me tight and it makes me feel terrible what I did earlier in the bathroom.

"I'll be right back, I need to go pee." Peeta says and walks towards the bathroom.

"Wait, no Peeta." I say and chase after him not wanting him to see the blood from me cutting.

But I'm too late, "Katniss, why?" Peeta asks, and for the first time, he's speechless, and so am I. "You were doing so good."

I start to cry harder, "I know, but words slice my skin like a knife. I just wanted to ease the pain." I say, "I'm so sorry I disappointing you. I'm ashamed of myself too."

"Katniss, I'm not disappointed in you, I'm just worried, this isn't healthy." He holds out my wrists and see the four cuts I made. "Let's get you cleaned up so no one but me and you see this. Not even Briar." He says. He grabs some bandages and wraps my arms.

Later that night, we're sitting on the couch with Briar, she's asleep in my arms. I watch her belly move up and down, she just finished nursing.

"I'm coming in." I hear a voice say, it's Haymitch's voice. He actually sounds sober, even though there is no drinking here in 13, but I'm sure he has found a way to get some alcohol in his system to escape this world.

"You three are wanted by Coin in the control center now." He says. I look at Peeta wondering what the hell that lady wants from us. But if she wants to take Briar and use her in the war, it would only happen over my dead body.


	15. Chapter 15

**YAY summer starts Wednesday! I'll probably be able to update more often, but I help out at a summer camp for community service hours and I'll also have some soccer camps. But I'll try to update a lot! Including my other story...**

**Peeta's POV **

I don't know what Coin wants with Katniss and I. But she is leaving Briar out of whatever she is wanting us to do, she is too young to be taken into war. I take Katniss' hand and we walk to the command center. The walk is long, but Briar is keeping us entertained with her talking, well talking in baby language. She would mumble something in her baby talk and Katniss and I would agree, I don't know what she was saying, but whenever we would reply, she sounded satisfied and would continue on.

"What do you think Coin wants?" Katniss asks out of the blue.

I don't know what I should tell her. I'm sure it had something to do with the three of us, but I don't want this to freak out Katniss. "I'm sure she just wants us to do some filming to air it in the capitol." I say. Silently agreeing to myself that this would bring comfort to Katniss on her wondering what Coin wants for now.

"She better not include Briar in this. I don't agree to anything if it includes Briar." She warns me. I nod, we were thinking the same thing.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure that Briar isn't included in whatever Coin wants." I say. This must convince her because she doesn't ask any further questions. We walk down more hallways, I'm surprised I haven't gotten us lost yet, everything looks the same. All of the hallways are the same white dull color. The only thing that shows us that we're not passing the same apartments is that the labeling in each one. "This is it." I say. Before we can enter, they must take a DNA sample and our finger print to make sure we are not impostors. I don't know who would want to impostor us because we are in hot water with the capitol right now. And it's probably the same with Coin.

After the testings, we were brought in by guards to a conference room where Coin, Gale, Haymitch, Paylor, guards and a few other important people sit. "Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, I'm glad you were able to make it along with your daughter. She is a quite a beauty." She says, if you didn't know her, this comment would make her seem like a genuinely nice person, but I know better. And I can tell Katniss knows better too by the way she tenses up. I give her hand a little squeeze to try and help reassure her that Coin won't ever harm our little girl.

"We were told to report her immanently." I say changing the subject off of my daughter.

"Yes. We wanted some more propos to air." She says. I let out a sigh of relief that Coin doesn't actually want our daughter. "But we also estimate in about two to three months time, the capitol has a breaking point." A breaking point? What does she mean about this? I'm not sure, but how does she know the capitol will be at a breaking point in a few months? "Now, you both are probably wondering how I know all of this, but all of the districts have sided with us, that means to capitol has no more imports on food or any basic supply needs. I want the both of you to start training for this. And we must have all three of you fly into District 2 tomorrow, they just recently sided with us and we need to show them how much we care. And that this was the right choice to also rebel against the capitol."

"I won't do it. Because Briar is not coming with us to District 2. I'm not putting my daughter's life at risk." Katniss snaps.

"It's either she goes with both of you to District 2, or going into the capitol and have a huge risk on getting killed during the takeover." Coin said why a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She's right, if we have to take Briar with us, it must be to safest place possible. She knows that she has the power right now and not us and using it all the way to her advantage.

Coin could tell that Katniss and I had no way to defend ourselves and Briar so we just silently agreed. "When will be leaving for District 2?" I ask Coin.

"Tomorrow. This is a top secret mission, you may not tell anyone. Including your families." Coin told us. "You're both dismissed and be prepared for an early wake up call."

* * *

**Katniss' POV **

I hate how Coin is able to control us right now. Peeta and I survived in District 12 for sixteen years, survived two Hunger Games and for me many months in the Capitol. Peeta and I are dismissed from Coin's conference area.

Peeta and I start the long walk to our apartment. We spend the night wrapped in each other's arms, with Briar in the middle of us. It's not fair for Briar's life to be put on the line because we are her parents. It's not her fault she was brought into this world. And that reason leads back to all of the other reasons why I didn't want to get married or have kids. I know that if we lose this war, the Games will continue and get crueler than ever. Probably change the rules making it four tributes from each district and say that every 76 it switches from 24 to 48 and say that it's in the rule book just like the Quell this year, how it was so perfectly timed that if have had to been fake.

The next morning we receive an early morning wake up call. We were taken to a dressing room by the hanger where our hovercraft will take us to District 2. The outfits we are suited in are sort of like the outfits we worn during our training sessions for our first Games, but they have more of a mockingjay feel. I can tell that Cinna made these, before we was brutally murdered, well at least I think he was murdered. I drop that thought from my mind. Peeta and I are in the same outfit while one has been made for Briar.

On the loading dock for boarding the hovercraft, I feel butterflies form in my stomach. I have no clue what District 2 holds for us. Peeta, Briar, and I are ushered onto the hovercraft by some guards who show us where to sit. The ride to District 2 won't be more than a hour. The guard explains to us that we have to visit the wounded in the makeshift hospitals to show that Peeta, Briar, and I are still going strong even though they were recently bombed.

The ride over there was mostly silent. I hold Briar close and vow to myself not to let anything happen to her or Peeta. I guess Peeta can tell I'm really tense because he gives my hand a squeeze but doesn't speak. "We are now in District 2." A mechanical voice says over an intercom. I'm completely still, too scared to move.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine." Peeta says and pecks my lips. I let out a breath and walk with a guard who is taking us to the exit of the hovercraft.

When the doors open, I'm speechless. This does not look like the District 2 Peeta and I saw on the Victory Tour. The District 2 we saw was so rich and so dignified. There was a peacekeeper training center and everyone look so healthy. And now, everyone looked so...destroyed. The people no longer looked healthy, they looked broken and damaged. But I guess that is what they are. There is smoke coming everywhere in the air, still stained from the bombs. District 1 and 2 were the Capitol pets, they got everything the need pretty much, no one rarely starved, now they're just as damaged and broken as District 12 was. "Peeta, how could they do this?" I ask him, because it's the truth, the capitol is really heartless, but this is terrible just like the Games are.

"They betrayed them Katniss." Peeta says calmly. Thankfully Briar is sleeping, even though in ten years from now, she probably won't even remember this, I still don't want her to see this awful sight.

Another guard walks up to us, "We've already double checked security, it's safe." He says, he leads us to a tent like structure, "This is the hospital, it's not much, but until we find something else, this is the best we have. The reason why we wanted the three of you in District 2, is because they need to see someone strong, like you guys. Just talk to them and tell them some plans, tell them that it's going to be all right." I hate to do that, because I'm sure that I'm lying to half of them that they won't die when they have a high chance of doing so.

Peeta and I nod our heads and are granted entrance into the makeshift hospital. When the flab door opens, what I see takes me back. People are throwing up, doctors are tending to the patients as best as they can. Even some surgeries are being preformed without much privacy. Peeta and I walk up to a teenage girl who looks distressed. She turns to look at us, she's quite stunning, dirty blonde hair (a luxury trait in District 12) and a mix of blue and green eyes, she has freckles going across her face. "Wow, you guys are really alive." She says. I can see some burns on her legs, she must have been near the bombs then.

"Of course we're alive." I say, I start to stroke her hair as a comforting gesture, it always calms both Peeta and I down, so I just assume it does that to everyone as well. "And the three of us are not going anywhere, just like you." I say, I can only imagine how much physical and emotional pain she's going through right now.

"The worst part of the Games was when you were giving birth, I thought you were going to die." She says. She was worried about me? "I remember when the screens went blank, I saw the capitol planes fly above our heads to your district in such a rush." She must have seen a lot of tragic stuff then. "And the interviews the aired when you were in the capitol broke my heart, to see you suffering so much."

"Thank you, it was hard, but I had to keep going." I say. We say our goodbyes, Peeta, Briar, and I walk away in search of more patients who need some cheering up. As we were walking to another patient, a guard tells us we have to make a public speech to all of the patients. We are lead up to a stage that allows us to overlook the vast tent and see how bad of shape some of these patients are, and it makes me feel really guilty about it. We were not given a sheet to read off of or a way we could prepare, so we just winged it.

"We're really sorry all of this happened." I say, I look over at Peeta who is now holding Briar who is starting to fidget around in his arms, I hope Peeta got a hint that I don't know what to say from here, and he needs to take over.

"We promise we'll do everything we can to end this war as soon as possible. And when we do, the Games will be ended forever." He says. We go on and on about stuff we're throwing together in our head. I hope this speech doesn't sound unsympathetic and we're not sorry this happened because to me, that is what it sounded like.

Peeta and I both walk outside the makeshift hospital, "That went well..." I hear Peeta say, I can't make out what he says next, there is this loud noise coming from above.

"Peeta, Katniss. I need you three to follow me immanently." He says. During the walk, I keep questioning him where we are going, but he always tells us there is no time. The guard has turn all of these corners, he leads us into the wooded part of the district, where hunting is considered poaching, but I doubt anyone would poach because someone would rarely die of starvation in this district. We enter the woods, I stay swift like a fox with my hunting feet. And Peeta is just as loud as normal. I remember the Games last year when we were looking for food but Peeta was so loud he was scaring away all of the Game. "You're so loud." I tell Peeta and he chuckles and punches me lightly on my arm. The guard takes us to a small log house, just like the one I sometimes go to that my dad built all those years ago.

"Why are we here?" Peeta asks once we are settled into this house.

"The spies we have in the capitol told us that the plans for the three of you to visit us made it's way to the capitol and they were sending planes to bomb the district in hopes to kill you three off." He explains.

"But how would those plans reach the capitol. We haven't told anyone, we only found out last night we would be traveling here." I say, this doesn't make sense at all.

"I have no clue, but it would have had to be an inside job for them to have found out. That conference room is high equipped and highly guarded." He explains.

"What do you mean an inside job?" Peeta says. "Someone we know, who was in the room with us when we had the conversation with Coin is a trader?"

"It would have had to been." The guard says, "I must go now, but please don't leave this house until a guard comes to get you. There's food and water under the bed." After that the guard exits the door and leaves and disappears into the woods. I say a silent pray that he makes it back safe and that everyone in the hospitals stay safe as well.

"What do we do now?" I ask Peeta who is stroking Briar's brown hair.

"I guess we'll just wait it out." Peeta says and grabs some food from under the bed. Peeta puts some nuts and berries on two plates and fills up two glasses of water. We rationed out or food since we have no idea how long we'll be here. After our dinner, we decide to get some sleep. Peeta says he'll stay up to keep guard. He still holds me in his arms with Briar in the middle of us.

The little house didn't provide us with many blankets and it's freezing. "Peeta, tell me when you want to switch and you can sleep too." I say, he nods and promises to wake me up later. He gives me a kiss on my forehead. I focus on trying to keep Briar warm because she's ice cold. I close my eyes and try to sleep. "Peeta." I whimper some, I probably sound like a little girl.

"Yeah." He says in a soft soothing voice.

"It feels like we're back in the Games. Someone is keeping guard, while the other sleeps while we are just awaiting our death. I can't do it. I just can't handle it." I say, I feel tears slide down my face. Peeta is quickly to wipe them though.

"Don't worry Katniss. We're not in the Games and never will be again. We'll all be safe." He comforts.

"But Peeta. Think about it. If we don't end this war, the Hunger Games will continue and become even worse. And I'll bet everything we have that as soon as Briar turns 12, her name will be entered more than one time. She'll be drawn and have to compete. Then her in the arena her life would be hell and then soon be killed off all why we watch and mentor her." I argue back. He doesn't reply because he knows I am right. Instead he strokes my hair and tries to calm me down.

Briar notices that I am crying. "Mama crying." She says and tries to wipe some stray tears. I smile at how caring she is at such a young age, she'll be like her dad in some ways. "Wuv Mama."

A smile spreads across my face. "I love you too Briar. And so does Daddy." I say. She smiles at that. She has a smile across her face, she looks into my eyes and then into Peeta's. She giggles some and the buries her head into the crook of my neck.

I drift off to sleep, until I'm violently awoken by an explosion. "Peeta, what's that?" I ask, I'm scared out of my wits. The peace keepers probably know where I am at and are about to attack us at any moment.

"I think the capitol found bombed the district again." He replies.

I can't help but to feel guilty because they wouldn't have bombed District 2 if they knew I wasn't here. "Peeta, who could have told them?" I ask.

He thinks about it for a second. "Well, the only people in the room with us was Gale, Haymitch, Coin, Paylor, other important District 13 people and some guards. Haymitch and Gale wouldn't tell. They both hate the capitol just as much as we do. So it could only be the guards or Coin." He says. I nod my head. I insist that Peeta go to sleep while I take guard. I take this time to talk to Briar who is wide awake.

"Briar, I love you. We promise nothing bad will ever happen to you." I say. Briar smiles at this. I don't expect a response because her vocabulary is very limited.

"Wuv Mama Dada." She says. I laugh at her voice and how she struggles to pronounceate words correctly. I open my mouth to respond but before I can do that I hear some voices and a twig snap. "Mama?" Briar says.

"Yes, baby, I'm right here. Be quiet." I try to comfort her. I pull her into my chest and I can feel some tears fall on my arm while she tries to cry silently. I don't know if I should wake Peeta or if I should just go out there and lead them away so both of them can escape. I think back to my promise almost a year ago how I vowed to give my life for Peeta in the arena and the promise I made hours ago that I would do anything to keep Briar and Peeta safe. I go with the first, but I need to wake Peeta first so Briar and him can safely escape into the night.

"Peeta, Peeta." I shake his shoulder. "Peeta you need to get up. I need you to take Briar to safety."

"What? Why?" He asks in his sleepy voice. "We are safe."

"No, no someone is out there. I need you to get Briar to safety. I can go distract them." I try to convince him.

But turns out we better make different plans because as we were fighting, someone threw a fire torch on the house and now the house we are in is engulfed in flames...


	16. Chapter 16

**So, I probably won't be able to update until monday evening because I'm going to my great grandma's house and she doesn't have wifi, I know, I don't know how she lives! lol, anyway thanks for reading this and reviewing it. Sorry for any grammer mistakes. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games! **

**Peeta's POV**

When Katniss woke me up telling me to take Briar away to safety, I couldn't leave her. That's not what a good dad and husband does. The dad and husband's job is to protect his wife and daughter. I objected to Katniss, but before she could respond, a fire torch was thrown through the window. We were trapped.

"Peeta?" Katniss says, I look over at her, she's holding Briar close to her chest. Briar's quiet cries turn into loud sobs, I always hated seeing Katniss cry or in pain, but I hated it when it was my own daughter. The pain I felt was insane. I look around wondering what we could use to get us out of the cabin that is no engulfed in flames. It's not like we have a handy dandy fire extinguisher on the walls.

"Katniss, get the blankets from the bed." I try to say as calmly as possible. She quickly grabs the blankets, on a small wooden table lies the water we were given to drink is, there isn't much water, but I manage to get most of the blankets covered in water. I wrap the now wet blanket around Katniss and I. "Hold Briar as close as you can to you." I say, I wrap my arms around Katniss and Briar while holding up the blankets around us. "Lets go before the flames get too high."

"Wait, Peeta. We can't walk through fire, we'll burn to death." I turn and look at Katniss' face, she truly was scared.

"Do you trust me?" I ask her.

"With all of my heart." She replies instantly, I see a tear in the corner of her eye threatening to come out.

"You have to trust me then." I tell her and tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She nods and I wrap my arms tighter around her and Briar. "Come on." I take a few steps towards the entrance that the fire guards. Briar starts to cough and cough.

"Peeta we have to get her out of here, she can't keep breathing with this smoke. It will kill her." Katniss says worry filled in her voice.

I don't reply but I guide the both of them through the flames and out the door into the safety of the woods. We walk farther and farther away from the cabin knowing that someone, maybe a peacekeeper will walk by there looking for us. Briar's coughing has slowed down some, but it is worrying me that she keeps coughing consistently. "Katniss, I think we can stop now. It's safe."

Katniss nods and we make the ground bearable to sleep on during the night. Briar's coughing slowed down, but we still kept a watchful eye over her. "Katniss, you sleep. I'll stay up." I tell her.

Katniss closes her eyes and shifts. She tries almost every position to get comfortable, but I can tell nothing is working for her.

"Peeta, I can't do that. It feels like we're in the Games again. The forest and the fire. It's too much like our Games. Peeta we can't go to sleep. We have Briar now. We need to protect her first, then each other, and then ourselves." She says, I look into her eyes and see nothing but worry in her eyes. I lean down to give her a kiss. I can feel her relax a little, but she's still really tense. So it was settled that none of us was permitted to sleep besides Briar, who depended on us to keep her safe.

We lean against a tree trunk, Briar is sleeping against Katniss' chest, I have my arm around Katniss who rests on my chest. I look down at Briar and Katniss and think how lucky I really am. Even though we both have been through more than several people do in their entire lifetime and we're only 17 years old. The simple quote 'may the odds be ever in your favor', I never thought the odds were in my favor, being reaped for the Games and having to go back into the arena for a second time to fight for Katniss' life, my life, and Briar who we didn't even knew existed at the time. But now that I look back at it, the odds were always in my favor. There is no way that I could have survived two Hunger Games, have the girl that I have been in love with since I was five, and even have a daughter with her. The odds have always been in our favor...but for how much longer?

"Peeta?" Katniss' voice takes me out of my thinking. "What were you thinking about?" She asks out of curiosity.

I sigh, "I look at back over these past few years, and I realize now that the odds we're always in our favor. Even though at times we didn't think they were. But they are because we wouldn't have been able to survive all we have and not be dead."

Katniss nods and then looks down at Briar. "I know what you mean. I never wanted kids, I never wanted to fall in love, and I never wanted to get married. But I look back at it now and realize that I would never give you or Briar up. My life is perfect, just forget our situation right now." She shifts a little to a more comfortable position trying not wake up sleeping Briar.

"I love you Katniss." I say and kissing her head.

"I love you too Peeta. And I mean it. And I'm so sorry on how rude I was after we got back from the Games, and I'll never forgive myself on some of the things I did to you and some of the stuff Haymitch and I kept from you. It wasn't right. Or fair of me. Especially when it was also your life and families' life as well." She tells me. I look into her eyes and can see on how guilty see feels.

I open my mouth to respond, but a noise stops me. It sounded like a twig breaking. I jerk up preparing to attack whoever threatens us. It sounded like a twig snapping, it's probably just some animal roaming around, but I don't want to take any chances. "Let's start walking back to the district. I'm sure the capitol planes and bombings are done." I say. Katniss agrees and I give her hand up. She holds Briar close to her chest.

"Let me hold her." I tell Katniss who has been holding her this whole time.

"Okay, but tell me if you need me to hold her." She tells me and hands her over. During the hand off, Briar woke up.

"Dada?" She asks.

"Yes sweetheart?" I say holding her close, she's ice cold.

"I'm cold." She says in her baby voice, barely audible.

"Do you want my jacket?" I ask her, she nods and I wrap it around her. She lays her head against my chest, if she's anything like Katniss, she's listening to my heartbeat. Katniss always told me that after she has a nightmare, it always calms her down to hear my heartbeat just to have proof that I really am alive. "I love you Briar." I tell her. Katniss and I often tell Briar we love her because it was something our parents do very often. We knew they loved it, they just didn't say it.

"Wuv you too." She says back. Katniss smiles and wraps one of her hands around me.

I step on several leaves and tree branches making a loud noise. Katniss cringes every time and every little noise I make. I still don't get how she can move so swiftly through the forest, she's just like Foxface in a way. "Hopefully no one is following us because you'd give us away." Katniss says half jokingly.

"That is why I stayed by the river bank instead of the woods." I say in my defense.

Katniss chuckles, "I think there are a lot more reasons why you stayed at the river bank than that." She reaches up and kisses my check.

"Ewww Mama." Briar says. We both laugh at this.

"Ewww Briar." She says back. Briar giggles and scrunches her face up, something I would always do as a kid according to my dad.

We hear dogs barking, those could easily be mutts. "Let's hurry up." Katniss suggests with a hint of urgency in her voice.

I nod, "Briar, we need you to be super quiet." I tell her. She nods, I forget that Briar is only nine months old, she seams like she could be one year old.

* * *

"Katniss, are you sure we're going the right way?" I ask her, it's pitch black outside, it really is like our first Games, where we are right now feels like the arena we were in. The only light we have is the moonlight and that doesn't help much. I can see why sleeping is freaking Katniss out so much.

"I don't know." She says honestly. "It's dangerous being in the woods at night, even back home Gale and I always made sure we were home by dark. They say you can be going in circles without even knowing it."

"Do you think we're going in circles?" I ask her.

"I don't know." She says plainly. We don't talk anymore until we can faintly see light fire everywhere. I'm assuming we're back in District 2.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

Peeta, Briar, and I walk through the woods trying to find our way back to District 2. We see light flames, I assume we are back into the district. As we get closer, a certain stench fills the air, I haven't smelled this since the last mine explosion. Dead bodies everywhere. The sight is awful. You can see dead bodies of men and women. And even children...and some babies. And I can't help but think that this is all of my fault. If I didn't pull out those damn berries and just killed myself we wouldn't be in this mess. Or if I left Peeta to die...No I can't think like that. I love Peeta, he's the love of my life and he has given me an amazing, flawless daughter.

We don't see any peacekeepers around, plus there is shelter that we can use for the night. We cautiously walk back more into sight. Leaving the protection the forest has to offer. As we walk along to the shelter, I can see all of the dead bodies more distinctively. Thankfully I didn't know any of them personally, if I did, I probably would have lost the little sanity I have left. I didn't know them, but I can't help but feel for them.

We walk to the shelter, "We can spend the night in the hospital." Peeta says, I nod.

"I don't remember the hospital being here." I say rubbing my arms trying to keep warm. The temperature has dropped dramatically... another thing that reminds me of our first Games. Peeta opens the flab. I can't see much of what is inside, but it's empty. "Peeta, this isn't the hospital." I say with worry in my voice.

"They must have bombed that building." Peeta says softly, letting the news sink in.

"Why would they do that? Why would the bomb the hospitals? Where all of the poor innocent and injured people were." I say with tears rolling down my checks. So that means all of those patients we visited were most likely dead. And that beautiful girl with dirty blonde hair is dead...

"They want to break you, Katniss. And Snow knows that if he kills off innocent people, you'll suffer from it and let it get to you. He knows you think everything is your fault." Peeta says, he's right. The capitol wants me to break down and see the fall out.

"If the capitol wants me to be broken, then I guess I'll have to be whole." I tell Peeta, "I'll have to be whole." I repeat to myself.

"Lets get some sleep." Peeta says and kisses my check.

We find an air mattress that is already blown up and the three of us sleep on that. Briar wakes up first wanting to be fed. I pull up my shirt and breastfeed her, I look at her and notice how much she really does look like me. I've seen a few baby pictures of me before, and they look exactly like her. Minus her blue eyes. Briar is an exact mix of a poor seam person having the traits of olive skin and brown hair. But also having the traits of a richer town person with the unforgettable blue eyes.

Briar is getting really big, she has been trying to walk, but every time she manages to stand up she falls right back on her butt. I giggle at the memory of Briar standing up on her first time but as she tries to walk, she falls right on her butt and starts to cry. When she finishes I burp her. She tries to tell me a story, but I can only recognize a few words. I wonder if the rebels are out here in District 2, I hope they aren't where that cabin is, or used to be. Even though we were given strict instructions on staying in that cabin, I hope they realized we wouldn't listen to that, especially now because we had a reason.

I stare at Peeta while he sleeps and decide to wake him up by kissing him. He groans when I wake him up, but his eyes light back up when he sees Briar. "Do you think we should stay here and wait for people to find us? Or should we look for them ourselves?" I ask Peeta.

"I don't know whatever you want." He says, tiredness controlling his voice.

"Well, we at least need some food. I'm starving." I tell him.

"I think I remember seeing some berries not far from here before the bombings. It might still be there." He says I nod and follow him outside of the tent, and down the path where Peeta says he saw the berries. Briar insists on her walking while holding my hand, I can't say no, so I nod and watch her trip while trying to walk.

We find the berry bush, I close my eyes and think back to the plant book my father made and try to remember these berries, I'm pretty sure they are blueberries, but they look a lot like nightlock. I look at Peeta and he is putting it up to his mouth to eat. _We're both about to commit a double suicide. Trying to define the capitol after they changed the rules making only one victor. _Peeta raises his hand containing the berries to his mouth.

_"Together?" Peeta asks, _

_"Together." I say confirming our decision. "One." I say, only a few more seconds left before I die. What about Gale? What did he think about this? And Prim, who now has to watch me kill myself on live t.v. I wonder what Peeta's family feels right now. His mom probably doesn't even care. _

_"Two." Peeta says and strokes the end of my braid, we still have time to change our minds..._

_"Three." We both lift our hands filled with the deadly berries to our mouths. _

"No, wait Peeta! You can't eat them." I say and swat the berries out of his hands.

"Katniss, why did you do that?" He questions with a hint of anger and frustration in his voice.

"I don't know." I say, not mentioning the Games in front of Briar. I walk away, going to find some peace and rethink this whole thing. I swear I'm going crazy, it's not the first time. I'm sure the whole nation of Panem thinks I'm crazy. And right now, I gaurentee that Peeta thinks I have officially lost it. I think back to when I have that 'mentally disoriented' wristband on my wrist.

"Mommy." I hear Briar's voice. I want to go back to her, but my feet don't allow me too. I keep walking past by all of the dead bodies. "Mommy." She says a little louder thinking I didn't hear her the first time.

I keep walking down a dirt trail. "I killed you." I point to a random dead body, "And you. And you. And you. And you. And you. And you. I KILLED ALL OF YOU. I'M SO SORRY. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME, NOT YOU. BUT DON'T WORRY, I WANT TO DIE, It'S NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING TO LIVE FOR BESIDES A FEW THINGS." I scream. I think back to now where I need that 'mentally disoriented' bracelet back on.

I sit down on a dirt pile free from any decomposing bodies. I feel a small grip tighten on my back. "Momma." It says, I instantly know it's Briar. "Wuv you." She says.

I smile, at least I know her, Peeta, and Prim will always love me. And maybe even Gale? "I love you too baby." I tell her.

I feel another grip around me from behind, but this one is tighter and stronger. "Hey." Peeta says.

I shake my head. Peeta walks around so he's facing me. "I really need that 'mentally disoriented' bracelet back on." I tell him.

"Katniss, if this is about the berries, it's fine really. I'm sorry I over reacted." Peeta admits.

I shake my head, I hate it when Peeta apologizes when he didn't do anything wrong. "It was us in the Games Peeta." I admit, not caring that Briar can hear us. "We were about to eat those nightlock berries and those were the only images I could see. I can't lose you Peeta."

"It's okay Katniss." Peeta says and brings me into a tight hug.

"There you guys are." I hear an unfamiliar voice in the distance say. I pull away from Peeta's hug and see a guard running towards us. "When they sat the cabin on fire, we were really worried. We thought you died in there. But we couldn't find the bodies and figured you must have escaped." He says. "We have a hovercraft waiting to take you guys back to 13."

"Okay, thank you." Peeta says.

I pick up Briar but she protests. "No mommy." She says and crosses her arms. "I wanna walk."

Peeta laughs and I shot him a dirty look. "I think I know where she got that stubbornness from." He says.

I let Briar walk a little, but then she insists on me carrying her, since it was too long of a walk. When we arrived back in 13, Coin wanted us to see us once again in her office? What the hell could this woman want?


	17. Chapter 17

**Katniss's POV**

When we were brought back from District 2, Coin wanted us to see her in her office once again. I don't know what she could want, we just got back from a possible near death experience in District 2. Going down to Coin's office is now a routine for Peeta and I. I'm still trying to figure out if that is a good or bad thing...I decide that is a bad thing. After all every time we go there we almost always get bad news.

Peeta, Briar, and I go through the same routine that allows us to enter Coin's office and Command. A machine takes our DNA and a picture. We pass the security checks, we are lead down the same hallway by security guards to Coin's office. I don't know why we still have guards to walk us to her office, we come down here often enough to know where it is. Coin tells me that it's because she wants to take extra safety precaution, but I know that's bullshit. She doesn't care about Peeta, Briar or I or why else would she send all of us, including Briar to District 2. It just doesn't add up at all. She's just power hungry, just like Snow, and once we _win_, we cannot have her president. Who knows what she will do to Panem and what else she will do.

"Nice to see the three of you made it back safe and sound." Coin says with that sneaky voice of hers. I'm not sure if her voice is naturally like that or if she has something she isn't telling us. My bet is the second one, the only person she would truly tell everything is Paylor, her secretary. She should be telling Peeta and I everything. We _are _the mockingjays. Not her.

"Yes we did. After several close calls. We are back here." I say emphasizing the word 'several'. I am eyeing down Coin and her guards. I can't help but remembering the conversation we had with the guard who took Peeta, Briar, and I to safety in the woods. He said the only way the capitol would have known we were in District 2 is if someone who was in the room when we Haymitch, Paylor, Coin, Peeta, Gale, several other guards were discussing the topic. Haymitch wouldn't tell, he helped start the rebellion, Gale hates the capitol just as much as me, Peeta or I haven't told, Briar couldn't comprehend it. So that would only leave the guards, Paylor and Coin. I don't know who would do that, but all I know is that what is said during this meeting, isn't secure information.

"I know. We heard. We were all worried sick when we found out that the bombs were going off then when the house they put you in to keep you safe was up in flames. We didn't want to lose our precious mockingjays or their beautiful little daughter." Coin says. Paylor just nods not knowing if she should agree with Coin or not.

Peeta or I don't reply. It's a dead and uncomfortable silence in the room. I'm debating on weather I should bring up the subject on how the capitol knew that we were in District 2, would that be smart of me? No, but it's important that we know who is working with the capitol if we want to win this stupid war. "How did the capitol know we were there?" I ask directing the question at Coin but trying not to make it too obvious.

"Well," Coin starts. She picks up several pieces of paper but then puts them in a file folder back inside of her desk. "It could have been luck.."

"There is no way this was luck." I interupt. Peeta gives me a stare, probably to warn me that I don't bring up this 'betraying, working for the capitol' thing. But we have spies working for us who are in the capitol while the capitol thinks that they are working for them. So why couldn't it happen the other way around? Some things have changed, but the capitol is and will always be sneaky.

"Ms. Everdeen.."

"Mellark." I correct.

"There hasn't been any legal change in your name, so right now, you are still known as Katniss Everdeen." Coin snaps at me, I've never heard her tone that harsh before. "Now, I can assure you that the capitol doesn't know anything about our plans. It was probably just luck, like I said before. Now, I advise you that you and your husband get into shape to prepare for your departure to the capitol in a few short months. And I do expect you to follow your scheduled Ms. Everdeen. I have heard that you do only what you want when you want to." Coin is clearly dismissing us with the end of that. She shoos away Gale and Haymitch too. Of course I do only the things I want, if I did the things others want I wouldn't be alive right now hearing this crap from Coin.

Once we are completely outside of the command center and away from any cameras or sound recordings, I tell Haymitch and Gale about the thing Peeta and I were told by the guard who took us to safety. "Can you guys come to our compartment, now?" I ask Haymitch and Gale. Peeta looks at me in confusion wondering what I have to say. Haymitch and Gale agree to come with us to hear what we have to say.

We walk through the hallways. The first few times we walked to command center and back, it felt like an unsolvable maze, but I now know the hallways like I know the woods back home.

When we walk into our compartment, Peeta puts Briar in her crib in her room. I sit next to Peeta while Haymitch and Gale each sit in a chair in our living space. All three men stare at me, I don't know how I should say it. "Someone is a traitor." I say, "And it's someone who was in the conference room."

"Katniss, are you sure? Why do you think that?" Gale asks confused.

I sigh, can he not see past them? Especially Coin, her sly smile and how she can sometimes be too nice or too harsh on simple things. "When we were in District 2, we were bombed by the capitol. Peeta, Briar and I were taken to safety by a guard and we asked him how did the capitol know we were here, because at first they didn't. He told us this has had to be an inside job, meaning someone who was in the conference room at the time would have been the traitor. No one but all of us, the guards in the room, Coin, and Paylor knew about this mission. I know the four of us wouldn't say anything. So that leaves the guards, Coin, and Paylor who would have told the capitol." I explain.

"Sweetheart may actually have a point here." Haymitch says.

I look at Gale and he nods his head, "But what do we do about it?" Peeta asks who has been silent until now.

"Well, we could solve this ourselves, somehow go in the capitol and get information from our current spies." Haymitch suggests.

"How would we get into the capitol without starting a battle?" Gale chimes in.

"Or, I have a simpler one." Haymitch says matter-of-factly.

"Which is?" I ask running out of patience.

"We simply wait until the war is over then put all of the guards, Paylor and Coin on trial." Haymitch says, thinking he sounds smart. There is only one thing wrong with this is, if we lose this war, it wouldn't have mattered who was the traitor because I know for a fact that Peeta and I will have to mentally start preparing to mentor for the Games because they will be worse than ever before and I also know for a fact that as soon as Briar is old enough to have the chance of being reaped, she would be and I cannot take that chance. I cannot bring an innocent child in this cruel and unforgiving world and not being able to protect it.

"What if we don't win?" I ask.

"We'll figure it out then sweetheart." Haymitch says, I sometimes wish he wasn't so sober all of the time now. "I'm going down to get food." Gale follows him leaving just Peeta, Briar, and I.

"Peeta, what do we do?" I ask him. I probably sound weak and vulnerable. I never like to sound or be weak and vulnerable, but I can let my guard down around Peeta.

"Honestly Katniss, I don't know. I think waiting is our best choice like Haymitch said." Peeta sighs in defeat, he always knows what to say and how to make me feel better.

"All I know is if we lose this war, me and you need to start mentally preparing on mentoring innocent children for the Games that are going to get worse and crueler. And you want to know the worst thing we need to prepare ourselves for if we lose?" This wasn't a question, I'm telling him the worse part if we lose.

"Katniss, we don't need to wo-" He says but I quickly cut him off not letting him finish his sentence.

"Yes, we do need to worry. Because I guarantee you if the Games continue, Briar's name will be reaped as soon as she's old enough for the Games. The Gamemakers willl give her hell in the arena making it impossible for her to win. Even if her name is in only once, we both know Snow will do something to make sure her name is reaped." I'm practically screaming at Peeta right now. I'm broken beyond repair from what the capitol has put me through. The Games and the tourture. Only Peeta is able to keep me sane. My time spent in the capitol for the torture and the arenas have made me feel bad on treating my mother the way I did when she fell into her depression after Dad died, sometimes horrible things happen to people and they just can't deal with them. And that's life. We're all human, and humans make mistakes. And that makes me an awful person for how I treated my mom...

I'm in hysterics and Peeta is trying to calm me down. He manages to put me to sleep promising that he'll stay up with Briar all night.

* * *

**Peeta's POV**

Katniss nearly had another mental breakdown, I managed to calm her down and get her to bed. Briar woke up wanting to be fed. I told Katniss that I would stay up with her, I went into the kitchen to fix her a bottle with the formula I was provided when Katniss was still in the capitol.

After I warm up the bottle I walk into Briar's room where I can see her standing up in her crib holding on to the railing. She's dressed in a pink footie pajamas with white dots. I pick her up out of her crib, I sit down on the rocking chair and feed her the bottle. "Mama?" She says.

"Mama is tired." I yawn while I tell her that. She doesn't reply but continue to drink her bottle. I walk over to put her back into her crib when she simply refuses to lay down.

"Briar, you need to lay down and sleep." I tell her

"No." Briar simply says and has her arms folded and has the same pouting face that Katniss has. Yep, she is definitely her mother's daughter.

"Do you want to sleep with Mommy and Daddy tonight?" I ask her.

"Yeah." She replies, her hair is in two braids, sort of like how Katniss' hair was the first day I saw her.

"Now, you have to promise Daddy that you will be quiet because Mama is sleeping." I tell her. She nods her head. I put her in between Katniss and I. She curls up taking my shape. I put my arm over her and drift off to a peaceful sleep.

* * *

Four months have passed, we still haven't been to the capitol to end this war. But Katniss and I have been training for our departure for the capitol everyday. Coin originally told us that it would be two months. But she changed her mind and wanted to wait longer, she thought the capitol would be more vulnerable. That women confuses me sometimes. She hasn't given us an exact date, but she tells us very soon because she feels the war is almost over, she said the same thing months ago so it could be tomorrow we leave or in six months. But today, is a very special day. Today is Briar's first birthday, and we are actually throwing her a birthday party for her and invited some close friends. It's hard to believe that one year ago today that we found out that Katniss was pregnant and giving birth right then. That I found out that I was a father. That we were in the arena trying to protect the other. That the official rebellion began. We broke out of the arena. We convinced Coin to let us throw a birthday party for Briar. After some fights and compramises, we were given permission to. It's a small party. One with just family and a few close friends. Coin let us use the same room the Finnick and Annie got married in.

Katniss and I dropped Briar off with my family so we can prepare the room for the party. My dad assured me that my mom was serving kitchen duty and shouldn't be back for a couple of hours. "Hard to believe she's one year old." Rye tells me as I hand Briar to him. He holds Briar close to his chest. My family hasn't seen Briar too much since we had that huge fight with my mother.

"I know. One year since my life has completely changed. It's been hard at times, but I wouldn't change this past year with Briar or Katniss for anything." I reply. "Party starts in two hours try not to be late like you are for everything else. And try to make sure Mom does show up. Briar needs two grandma's in her life."

"Are you sure?" Rye asks me in astonishment.

"Yes, Katniss and I discussed it a few days ago. But if she insults Briar or Katniss in any way she will be asked to leave. Make sure she knows that." I tell him strictly.

"As you wish Boss." He says. I give him a hug goodbye and leave.

Katniss and I leave their compartment. I grab her hand and we walk to the place where the party will be. I baked a cake for Briar. It's the forest back from 12. I didn't know what I could use as scenery. All three of us together don't have a lot of memories that I could use. So the woods seemed like the obvious choice.

We walk down the white hallways until we reach the room, well I guess it's more like a multipurpose room. We were provided with some pink decorations to brighten up this room, which is like all the others: white and boring.

"It's hard to believe she's one year old today." Katniss says while we put up some streamers.

"I know, she's starting to walk by herself now." I say back looking over at Katniss.

Katniss drops her head, she's thinking about all of the dangerous things that could possibly happen to her. "Yeah, she will." Katniss says plainly.

"Hey," I cup her chin making her look at me. "We'll protect her from everything and anything we can." I tell her wiping a stray tear falling down her check. Katniss just nods. We continue setting up the decorations for the next two hours before the first few guests show up.

My family arrives first, I'm a little disappointed that my mom didn't show up, it shouldn't matter that Katniss is her mother, that's her grandchild. Her blood related grand child. But if she was going to be here to insult Katniss or Briar, I'm glad she didn't come then.

After my family arrives, Prim, Mrs. Everdeen arrive, Haymitch came, Johanna, Finnick and Annie, and even Gale and his family shows up. I can see on Katniss' face that she is happy Gale showed up. And Gale and I promised we would get along for Katniss' sake. We play a few party games. When it was time for cake, I gave Briar the first piece, we all watched her eat it before we all ate our pieces. At first Briar didn't know what to do with it. She got the main idea that it was food. When she was through with it, most of the cake ended up in her hair and face, very few pieces ended up in her mouth.

We opened presents, we told everyone we didn't want any, but of course they all did. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen got her a red dress, like the one Katniss wore on her first day of school. Haymitch got her a teddy bear, Finnick and Annie gave her some clothes, the Hawthorne family got her some hunting gear when she gets older, Johanna got her a shirt saying 'my mommy is brainless', that gave the room some laughter and Katniss punched my arm for laughing, my family got her a painting kit and Katniss and I gave her some toys, but when we got back to our 'home' we gave her a necklace. She'll wear it when she is older and Katniss and I have part of it. It says 'I love you', I have the 'I', Briar has the 'love' and Katniss has the 'you'.

When we were opening presents, I couldn't imagine how much effort and time were spent trying to find a present for Briar when we didn't ask for it. As tough as living in 13 has been, it's made all of us from District 12 become closer. And us and the victors we all are even closer as a family. The victors are our family, we know how we all have nightmares and how awful and terrifying they can be.

After the party, Katniss and I stay to clean up. Well, I do most of the cleaning because Katniss is busy showing Briar some of her new toys. For the rest of the afternoon, all three of us relax in our compartment, we were given today off from Coin for the party, which was surprising. The three of us were laying on our bed, Briar was giving us a speech, I'm not sure on what. But it's nice to listen to her voice and full of life it is.

There's a knock on the door, "I'll get it." Katniss says and jumps out of bed. Briar keeps talking anyway. I give her an occasional 'really?' or a nod of the head. That always seems to satisfy her. I hear some voices in the living room, I think about going to see who it is when Katniss comes in. "Can you come out here?Leave Briar in there." Katniss says. I can see her trying to fight back some tears, I get up off of the bed and walk into the living room and find Coin and some guards.

"President Coin, it's nice to see you." I tell her and fake a smile.

"It's nice to see you too Mr. Mellark." She tells me back still with that same voice that always gets me. "We have some important news to tell you and your wife." I look over at Katniss, and I can see she's fighting back tears, I have a feeling she already knows what they are about to say. I take her hand into mine and give it a light squeeze. "We think that this war is close to ending. We want to send the two of you to the capitol to end this thing. We need our mockingjays there when the war ends. We'll send a wake up call tomorrow morning. Once again, you may not tell anyone about this."

"Who will watch Briar?" Katniss asks.

"We already got Finnick and Annie to watch her." Coin says, I wish it was my family or Katniss' family watching her, but at least we know them personally. With that said Coin and the guards left our room. Briar came walking out of our bedroom, she must have figured out how to open the door. She walks over to me, I pick her up and sit her on my lap, she looks over at Katniss and then looks at me in the eyes, "Why is Mommy crying?" She asks, her face is filled with seriousness and concern.

How can I tell her that we both might not make it back? How can I tell her the real reason why Katniss is crying without scaring her to death? "Well, Mommy and I have been assigned a mission and we leave tomorrow. But you will be staying with Uncle Finnick and Aunt Annie." I tell her.

Briar nods and then goes over to Katniss, "Don't worry Mama. I love you." She says and gives her a kiss on her check. I can't help but to smile. Briar has such a caring heart. That night Katniss, Briar and I all sleep in the same bed. Katniss didn't want to sleep without Briar close to her and I couldn't agree more. When we were woken up for our wake up call, Katniss couldn't control her tears. We walked Briar over to Finnick and Annie's compartment, Annie seemed thrilled to watch over a toddler, I could tell Briar was going to like her. We then went to the hanger where we were going to depart from 13 to the capitol. There were several other soldiers there as well being prepared to fight in the capitol.

We were given over a check list of items we need. We went over maps of the capitol and what is the best way to attack, that raised some suspicions on what exactly we were doing in the capitol. Katniss and I both thought we would end the war...not fight in it. When we were assigned a squad, I wanted to refuse. Coin never told us we would actually be in the battle zone. She only told us that we would end the war, which meant killing Snow. We were also told we would meet up with another squad. Surprising, Gale was in our squad with us. The flight over there didn't take long at all, maybe 45 minutes. I held her hand the whole time and she laid her head on my shoulder, I cold feel her shaking trying to calm herself. Whenever she can't calm herself down on a situation, she gets pissed at herself and she always uses the same excuse: I survived the Hunger Games, I shouldn't be like this. When the voice told us to start preparing, the whole thing started to sink in; we are going in the battle zone. And we might actually die this time


	18. Chapter 18

**Okay, sorry for the long wait and for the shortness of this chapter. But I'll update soon again, just not until at least Tuesday night. I have a soccer tournament in Colorado. Thank you to everyone who has been reading this! I love y'all. And sorry for any grammer mistakes, I wrote this and proofread this really quickly. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. **

**Katniss' POV**

Coin never told us that Peeta and I would be actually fighting in the war, going on the battle field part of it. She told us we would end it. End it as in killing Snow. She is going to pay after this war is over. All of these lies and pain she has told us. Gale is in our squad as well, I sat next to him and Peeta on our flight over to the capitol. I was a nervous wreck, I couldn't think properly. All I could focus on was the worst, what if I died? What if Peeta died? What if Briar died somehow? I knew I couldn't think like that but, it was so hard not to when it was all so real that I or Peeta or even Gale could die out here. The hovercraft reminded me of the ones that fly us over to the arenas. I scratch that thought. The last thing I need to be thinking about is the Games when we are fighting to get rid of them.

When a voice came over the intercom telling us to prepare our gear for landing, my knees almost folded but thankfully Peeta was there to catch me. We start to put on our gear, which is like our outfits from our first Games. "Katniss, don't worry, we'll be fine." Peeta says as he massages my shoulders from behind. I want to believe him, that we'll be okay. But I mean he can't control what the capitol will throw at us. Will they have mutations come and kill us? I'm sure Snow knows we are coming, just like the last time we were in District 2. I feel like I'm back in my Games, every second is like a ticking time bomb and my death awaits. How you're not guaranteed to be alive the next minute. The doors from the hovercraft opened. On the way over here, our squad leader explained how we have to land in District 1's woods so we can have a better sneak attack on the capitol. But told us he would better explain it to us once we landed in the district.

When the hovercraft doors open up, I can see the District 1 I remember seeing on the Victory Tour, it does look a little run down, but compared to the current state of District 2, this is a flawless place compared to District 2's current state. The woods don't seem like the ones back home in 12. The ones in 12 seem more welcoming and a life line. The ones that are to my left, seem like a death trap. Perhaps it's because my death could actually happen in those woods within a few hours. Peeta notices that I'm a little tense, he rubs one of his hands along my back. "Attention soldiers, you may now exit the hovercraft. We will begin our march to the capitol shortly after." A mechanical voice says allowed through an intercom. The voice reminds me of the voice that tells you to prepare to enter the tube that launches you into the arena... I shake that thought from my head not wanting to freak myself out even more than I already have.

We exit the hovercraft, Peeta takes my hand and Gale is beside us. I look around cautiously as if expecting an attack right now. We wait around for about a hour before our squad leader grabs our attention. "...We will start our walk to the capital once I am done with this speech. You do realize that there is a possibility that your life can be lost during this mission." Our squad leader pauses and looks around. He makes eye contact with me but I quickly break it by looking down at the brick on the ground. "The walk will probably take all night. But once we get there, we will invade some capitol citizen's homes to rest up for our long journey. Our two Mockingjays will show us around the capitol, since they know it better than anyone of us. My name is Sargent Brooks. Now do we have any questions?" He looks around quickly, "Good. Now lets begin our walk." Sargent Brooks says. And he leads us into the woods of District 1.

These woods remind me of our first Games. The atmosphere of realizing that we could die at any minute. Peeta and I hold hands and Gale walks next to me. None of us say anything. I wonder if Gale is still jealous of Peeta, I hope not. Gale is my best friend, my hunting partner, I need him in my life. I have no clue what I would do if he ever left me... But I could only imagine watching your crush fall in love with someone else and even have a child with him. While you're just there hurting inside.

Gale and I walk swiftly and quietly through the forest floor. Clearly years of hunting has paid off for both of us in different ways, for hunting and of course during both of my Games. I can't help but cringe when I hear Peeta step on a twig, the more he tries not to step on it, the more he does. If there were peace keepers trying to find us, it wouldn't be hard because of how loud our group, or squad is.

My stomach rumbles, I haven't had time to think of how hungry I was, I don't even remember eating this morning, probably from being such a nervous wreck. "Peeta," I say nudging his arm, he looks over at me, "Do you think there will be food or water soon?" I ask him.

"I don't know Katniss. We need food and water if they want us to survive. But something tells me we will have to find it ourselves." He tells me. I nod my head and keep walking.

After several more hours of doing nothing but walking, we were brought to a stop. In a distance, I can see the tall and architectural buildings. "I need our two mockingjays to come up to the front please." Sargent Brooks says aloud. I look over at Peeta, silently asking him if we should. He nods and we walk up to the front. "Now, you all will follow these two through the capitol." He continues on.

Peeta and I stand awkwardly in front of the squad not knowing what to say or what to do. We have hundreds of pairs of eyes looking up at us. Once again reminding me that they depend on us for their safety for their survival. I take a deep breath and begin talking. "Just follow us," I say, my voice shakes and I'm sure I sound nervous. "We'll attack the capitol in groups, from all around. But before we do that, we'll take over some capitol homes and recuperate there for the rest of today and tonight then tomorrow morning we'll move deeper into the capitol." I say. I look over to Sargent Brooks for approval and he nods.

I'm not sure where some of the capitol citizen's housing is, but after about a mile long walk, we find enough housing to hold all of us. There are at least five soldiers to a room, except where I am at. My housing area has Peeta, Gale, Sargent Brooks, and I. I remind the squad to find some food in the pantry or where ever to recuperate some because I don't know when the next time we can sleep or eat again.

Throughout the day none of us say much, mainly because we are afraid if we do talk, we will be found and killed immediately. I'm sure that is what any peacekeeper's orders are if they find Peeta or I to kill us immediately. Or to drug us and then be brought back to Snow where he can torture us. I try not think that what happens if we lose the war. The Huger Games will go on and continue even harsher than ever before guaranteed. But what would happen to my family? To Peeta's family? Will they all be killed and tortured? I try not to think about it but with all of this silence around us it's almost impossible not to think. I get up from the chair and walk over to the couch where Peeta is sitting and snuggle up against him. He wraps an arm around me, I always feel safer when I feel his arms go around me warding off anything that could possibly harm me in any way.

In the pantry we find some leftover noodles and cereal. I wanted to heat up the noodles, but we couldn't risk using an electricity. Risking putting up smoke from deserted houses. There was also milk in the fridge, but for safety reasons, Sargent Brooks recommended that we don't drink it. We all silently agree and drink some bottled water also found in the pantry. The house we stayed in was more like a condo, meant for a family whose was staying here on vacation or something. It wasn't over the top like I would have pictured. It was a simple four bed three bath house. What ever family stayed here had at least a daughter and a son according by the under water themed room and princess themed room. Sargent Brooks told us after dinner to start getting ready for bed so we can get an early start tomorrow morning. He went to go tell the other soldiers to get some sleep.

Peeta and I share the same bed, like normal. I pray that the nightmares won't come back and consume me tonight. It's already hard enough to have the videos the capitol showed me while I was being held hostage. In bed, Peeta wraps his arms around me. I turn so I'm facing him, I lean my ear against his chest so I can hear his steady heartbeat pounding in his chest. This always seems to calm me down in the worst situations. It was a comfortable silence before Peeta spoke up. "Katniss, whatever happens tomorrow, God forbid, one of us dies, I think we owe it to each other and Briar that we would continue on for the other and Briar and not become like your mother." He says. I don't respond right away, I can only imagine how my mother felt after my father died. How she feel into that deep depression, how she abandoned Prim and I. How I blamed her for never being there for me. I never thought about looking at her side of the situation. God forbid that if Peeta died, I would want to shut myself out from the world and just want to die.

"I promise that even if you don't," I find a tear slide down my face, "I'll continue on for Briar." I promise him, he holds out his pinkie so we can pinkie promise.

"And I promise that I will continue on if anything shall happen to you." He says, he gives me a kiss on my hairline, then my forehead, and then finally my lips. Within ten minutes I can hear his soft snores and it isn't long after that that I find myself asleep.

* * *

In the morning when Peeta and I are both woken up by Sargent Brooks, we are given a map of the capitol. Showing us possible places Snow could be hiding and all sorts of underground and secrete passage ways. I re braid my hair into its traditional braid. I eat a couple bites of cereal before quietly exiting the condo which housed me to meet up with our squad. Once all of us were there, Sargent Brooks gave us some assignments for the overtake of the capitol. He reminded us that we would be pairing with another squad of soldiers as well.

I'm not sure where Sargent Brooks left too, but he handed out weapons and sent us along our way. Peeta and I reminded them to be quiet and try to make as little noise as possible. We walk down the streets of the capitol not yet running into the other squad that Sargent Brooks told us about. I keep a wary eye for any peacekeeper or something out of the ordinary.

"Peeta," I say and start to point up ahead, "Is that the other squad?" I ask him. I can see a similarity on their uniforms compared to our's.

"I think so." He replies back to me. We have our squad start picking up the pace so we can catch up the other group of people. "Hey!" Peeta shouts at them.

Their leaders stops and looks behinds him, "Katniss?" A young squeaky voice says. I can recognize that voice anywhere, it's Annie's voice. What's she doing here?

"Annie?" I reply back at the unknown voice. I walk closer and see a taller figure next to her as well. "Finnick?" I say in confusion. I don't know why they're hear. Maybe I'm hallucinating? Right? They're in 13 watching Briar.

"Katniss, Peeta. What are you doing here?" The voice says, it's Finnick and the other person is Annie. But they were supposed to be watching Briar. Right? That's what we were told.

"Finnick, who's watching Briar?" I ask Finnick and Annie with worry in my voice. Peeta is now standing right next to me, concern flooding us face as well.

"We were told you were watching her." He replies back. My heart sinks in my chest, I have no clue who is watching Briar.

**Blee, it's short and boring. lol, review? please. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Peeta's POV**

The other squad includes of Finnick and Annie? But who's watching Briar? I knew we should have imposed and had one of our families watch her. I was about to speak but another voice interrupts me, "Commander Mellark, we need to move on if we want to continue on with this mission." A soilder says, I look over at Katniss and I can see worry and concern in her eyes. I nod at the soldier and we resume our march deeper into the capitol.

The capitol looks 100% different than it did during our time here during the Victory Tour and the Games. All of the color is gone, everything is a dull color and that gravely reminds me of back in the hallways and rooms of District 13. The only color there is is from the few and scarce citizens roaming these streets. There are many buildings that are somewhat burnt from whatever and some look untouched. We've been walking for at least two hours now and there has been no sign of the capitol and their peacekeepers or some sort of warning of them wanting to attack us. I say a silent 'thank you' for that, but that all seems weird, wouldn't they want us out of here and do what they can to drive us out of the capitol? Unless they had a big plan or something planned up ahead? They want us to come deeper in the capitol so that way they can launch their attack on us. I shake that thought out of my head.

At some point during the walk Katniss and I link hands. Annie, Finnick, Gale, Katniss and I don't talk. There's just nothing to say, and we all know that at any moment something could blow up. Then BAM!We're all dead.

The squad leader from Finnick and Annie's group takes over and leads us his way through the capitol. Some capitol citizens are still in their homes praying for their safety, some even look out their windows at us and stare. We're not in any disguises to help us blend in so the capitol has to know were here. The squad leader tells us we must stop for the night for safety reasons, some of us will go into underground rooms, some will be hiding away with capitol families that are loyal to the rebellion cause, and some of us will be housed in shops. Katniss, Finnick, Annie, Gale, and I walk cautiously down the streets to our housing arrangement, which is an old food store whose owner is loyal to the rebel cause.

We all try our best to lay low and not get recognized, the last thing we want is to be noticed by some capitol spy and give away our hiding place so they can launch an attack on us. When we arrive in the shop, Gale offers to go inside first, to make sure this isn't a type of trap. He was in the shop for at least fifteen minutes, I was starting getting a little concerned, but once Gale comes back and retrieved us, we let our guard down a little and thought this could be a safe house for a while.

"Hello, I have your room ready. So sorry it's small, but it's better than being on the those capitol streets with all of these peacekeepers searching for you guys. But it's really a huge honor housing you guys and keeping you guys safe." An old lady said. I'm assuming she's the owner, she has gray hair thats tied up in a bun and brown eyes. Surprisingly she doesn't have a strong capitol accent or whole lot of makeup on, even though you can tell she is wearing some makeup. "Follow me." She said and lead us behind her front desk. The lady was old and plump, in the capitol, it was a bad thing to be fat, but back home in District 12, being fat is quite an accomplishment, it means you have had enough to eat.

The lady pulled a book on a bookshelf that was behind her desk. The room wasn't big, it was actually small like she said, the walls were made out of wood. Or old wood that is about to fall down at moments notice. There were cobwebs in the corners like this place has been vacant for years. "There's some food in the corner and some water. I know it's not much, but that's all I could afford." The lady says while getting us some blankets and pillows for the night. "The walls are sound proof, but don't make much noise to be safe. I'll retrieve you all in the later hours of the morning so you can meet up with the rest of your group and continue your march." She says and starts to walk out, "Oh, before you leave tomorrow, you probably want to wear these." She throws a plastic bag at us.

When she leaves, she closes the bookshelf and now we are all alone. With the door closed, it started to smell musty and moldy. The plastic bag contained capitol clothing and wigs, she probably wanted us to fit in so we wouldn't stand out and attract the unwanted capitol attention. We divided the food evenly, it wasn't much, but it was better than going to bed with an empty stomach. We laid down the few pillows and blankets we were provided. We all tried to get some sleep right away because we don't know the next time we will get any sleep.

I don't bother trying to fall asleep, because I know nightmares will consume me returning to the place which played a part on starting my nightmares. I have my arms around Katniss, holding her close to me, which is our normal sleep posistion. I can feel her shake a little, "Katniss," I say whispering in her ear trying not to wake the others up as well. She's shaking, I'm not sure if she's cold or if she was having a nightmare. "Katniss, it was just a dream." I tell her.

She turns around so she is facing me, her gray eyes are shimmering with tears, "No it wasn't Peeta." She says and her voice cracks. I push a lose piece of her brown curly hair behind her ears. "It was real. This place reminds me of the place I was kept during the hijacking. Some small room. It brings back too many bad memories." She says and I wipe a few stray tears that fall on her face. "I don't think I can sleep anymore. I have the worst feeling about being in the capitol. There is just too many lives at risk right now. Too many lives that I'm responsible for if they die."

I'm not sure on what to do, I can't tell her it was just a dream, because for her, it wasn't just a dream. "I'll stay up with you." I tell her and kiss her forehead. That's the only thing I could think that could possibly offer some sort of comfort to her. She relaxes into my arms.

"I love you Peeta." She mumbles into my chest. "And Briar too." She quietly adds probably hoping I don't hear that part.

"I love you too, and Briar." I reply back.

"Do you think Briar will be okay?" She asks me. "We don't even know who is watching her. We were told Finnick and Annie were watching her, but they were never told about it. Who knows where she could possibly be."

I pull Katniss closer to me, she rests her head on my chest, I guarantee that she's listening to my heart beat. She always tells me that calms her down, assures her that I'm alive. "I don't know who is watching her. But I guarantee if the rebels find out that Briar is missing or dead, Coin will be a suspect on her disaperence and I'm sure that is the last thing she wants is to have the rebels question her authority and honesty." I explain.

"I don't know what I will if she does die. Or something bad happens to her." Katniss says softly and her voice cracks in the middle of the sentence.

I take my hands and put them on her face, making her look up to me. I can see her beautiful gray eyes, the same ones I saw during our first Games in the cave, the gray eyes I saw when she would trade squirrels with my dad, the gray eyes I fell in the love with the time we made eye contact, and the beautiful gray eyes our daughter now has. "Then we'll do everything we can so nothing bad does happen to her." I say and kiss her neck lightly.

* * *

At some point last night Katniss and I must have fell asleep because I wake up from the lady giving us our wake up call. "Where do we meet up with the rest of our squads?" Finnick asks. I shrug, not really knowing myself where to go.

"I don't know." I say honestly,"I guess we could start by just putting on these capitol clothes." I suggest and everyone starts dressing themselves up. After trading clothes and wigs several times, we all finally could pass as a capitol citizen. We need some makeup on to pass, but for right now, this should be good.

"This feels funny." Annie states and starts to fix her wig. "Why do we even have to do this?" She asks probably not listening to the lady last night giving us the reasoning behind all of this.

"To disguise ourselves, we don't want the capitol to know we are here." Finnick replies simply and patiently. It still surprises me that out of all the women in the capitol Finnick could have had, he chose Annie. I don't get it. But I guess that's how people see Katniss and me. I don't know how I feel in love with her. But she's perfect to me, her scars and everything is perfectly beautiful. We sit in silence for a few seconds before Katniss speaks up.

"But what about the others? They won't be disguised." Katniss points out.

"I don't know." I say, "But Katniss, you're the one who will kill President Snow, the others are probably just distractions." I point out.

We don't say anything until the lady comes and gets us again, "The coast is clear, please be safe and win this war for the sake of the future generations. For the sake of Briar." She says leading us out of our hiding place and out into her shop. I can look out the window and the streets are definitely more crowded today than yesterday for whatever reason.

"We will try." Katniss says, "And thank you so much for everything. We will see that you will receive some sort of an award for helping us through this time." The lady looks back at us with her caring old eyes.

"Thank you. Bless you all." She tells us before we all walk out of the door. Unlike yesterday, there are actually a lot of capitol citizens out and about today, I don't know if that is a good or bad thing yet.

"We need to split up first. There are two routes from here leading to President Snow's house, and they must be guarded in some way, so if one group fails, hopefully the other gets through." Finnick starts, "And I know you guys don't want to hear this, but Katniss, it's too dangerous to go with Peeta, everyone would be looking for the two of you. It will be you, Gale, and I will go one way and Peeta and Annie the other." What? So Katniss and I will be split up into different groups? I'm not letting this happen, because last time I let her out of my sight on something like this during the Quell. And how she promised me she would be safe and not get hurt. And well, we all know what happened.

"No," I'm impose, "I'm not letting Katniss out of my sight."

Finnick sighs, "It's too suspicious for the both of you to be together..."

"Suspicious?" I interrupt, "How would it be suspicious? We're dressed in these ridiculous outfits, no one can recognize it."

"If you trust me and want Briar to stay safe from the reaping bowls, we need to split up like that and we need to move now if we want to move at a comfortable pace." Finnick replies calmly. I have no choice, do I? I don't. I want Briar to stay safe from the reaping bowls and any other possible children we have in the future, like any good parent would want. But we're not good parents because right now, we don't even know where our daughter is or whose care she is in.

"Just be safe." Katniss says as she hugs me tight. I pull away but only to give her a kiss, a passionate one. But decide not to go to far because of everyone watching us.

"Don't do anything you don't have to do." I remind her as she walks off with Finnick and Gale, not knowing if that could have been the last kiss we shared forever.

* * *

**Katniss' POV**

Finnick, Gale, and I walk through the crowds of the capitol citizens, no one has recognized us yet. "Did you hear that?" Gale asks stopping us. I stand still focusing on a possible sound that we could have heard. All I can hear is the blabber from the talking of the capitol citizens around me.

"I don't hear anything." Finnick says back. We stand still trying to listen to the sound Gale was talking about.

The sound was faint from when I could hear it. I don't know how Gale could have heard it when he did. "It's barking?" I ask unsure if I was hearing the same sound as Gale was.

"Are they sending something after us?" Finnick asks confused.

"Probably, they want to protect Snow. Don't they?" I say in a reply to Finnick.

"We need to get out of here." Gale says and tries to get away.

I grab his arm and pull him back, "No, they want us to run. That way they can identify us from the rest of them." I say matter-of-factly. Gale lets out a breath I didn't know he was holding and he agrees with me.

The walk to President Snow's mansion takes longer than I originally thought. We made several stops along the way into some shops looking for some guns, a few people looked at us weird and each time they did, I held my breath that they didn't realize who we were. From a distance, you could see President Snow's mansion, it's taller than any of the buildings near it. When we learned about the capitol in school, our textbooks said they based President Snow's mansion off of the 'White House', the place where the president in the country before ours lived in.

The closer we got to Snow's mansion, the more peacekeepers we could see. Peacekeepers swarmed the perimeters of the mansion and also the nearby streets. Finnick, Gale, and I looked down and tried to avoid eye contact with any peacekeeper that passed us. "We need to make it in through another entrance." Finnick says, Gale and I look at him confused. "We can't just go through the gates, look at all of that security." He says pointing at the peacekeepers. "We could try going underneath the ground. The under ground passage ways lead to the training center which gives us access to Snow's mansion."

I look at Gale. His reasoning's and plans do make sense, but is it foolproof? "Where could we get underground from?" I ask. Still not sure of this plan. I don't think we could make it. But then again, if we don't make it, hopefully Annie and Peeta got through and will manage to kill Snow.

"Simple." Finnick replies pointing at a draining thing from the road. "We just need to make sure we enter during a large crowd."

Gale opens his mouth, I'm assuming to object, because if I know Gale, he has to be the one giving orders and being right. And not someone else. We hear dogs barking, and it keeps getting closer. The three of us stand there, still in our capitol dress up attire, listening for the dog's barks again. It's not until we spot them that we make up our mind on going through with Finnick's plan. "Come on, we have to go now." Finnick says while lifting the cover to the sewer. "Katniss go first then Gale. I'll try and make sure that they don't get under." He says.

"No Finnick come on, we all have to go." I shout back. There are no stairs or a ladder from the top of the street to down underground where the suege is. I drop down, the drop isn't far, ten feet maybe.I can hardly see anything at all. Instead of waiting for Gale and Finnick, I start to run. I don't know where the training center suege would be, but I keep running knowing eventually I'll find it. The farther I get away from the entrance we used, the lesser light I recieve. I can hear water dripping and hitting something, I'm not sure what though. The stench has a horrendous smell. I strip the clothes off I got from the lady.

"Katniss, wait up. You need us to guide you there! You don't the right way to go!" Gale shouts, I can hear his voice echo, I don't know if those dogs are behind us or not. Or even if they're after us. I decided to slow down and got back to Finnick and Gale. I can hear their footsteps coming closer. The sewer is comepletly dark, the only light I have is from the light above where we entered underground.

I hear more dogs barking and screaming. I run to the entrance and startled to what I find. I see dogs attacking Finnick, "Katniss run!" Finnick says as best as he could trying to fight off the dogs. I'm still stunned at the sight I'm staring at right now, and I can't get my feet to carry me away from them. I feel Gale lift me up and start to run away from the dogs.

"No! No! Put me down!" I scream and kick at Gale trying to find a way for him to release me from his grasp. "We can't leave Finnick!" The farther I get away from the entrance we used, the lesser light I receive Gale doesn't let go of me until the sounds of dogs barking are completely gone.

Once Gale put me down, I can feel the tears already welled up in my eyes, I fight the urge on crying but managed to let a few tears escape. "Katniss, we have to keep going. It's what Finnick would have wanted." Gale says. I stop, I can't go on. I turn around and pull Gale into a hug. I hug him tight and cry into his chest.

"Is he dead?" I ask, it probably was a dumb question. Of course he's dead. After those dogs attacking him. "I mean he could fight off those dogs easily. He's strong and..." I don't know what else to say. He's good looking, but that wouldn't help him fight off the dogs.

"Katniss, these weren't dogs, they were mutations I'm pretty sure." He says. I pull away from his chest and look at him in the eyes, "He is dead, but we must keep going if we want to end this war." He tells me.

I nod my head. "Do you think Annie and Peeta are safe?" I ask Gale. Annie. I completely forgot about her. How can I tell her that her husband got brutally murdered in front of mine and Gale's eyes? She's already in a poor mental state with Finnick, I could only imagine her without him.

"I don't know." Gale says honestly, "But we need to keep moving on and find the training center to kill Snow in case they don't." He says. I'm surprised that I agree to keep moving on. Peeta is okay. I tell myself he is because I can't afford to think otherwise.


	20. Chapter 20

**Peeta's POV**

Annie and I walk along the streets in the capitol, every time people stare, I hold my breath because I'm afraid that we've been discovered. When we pass peace keepers, I almost lose it and try to act normal anyways, but Annie stays like a rock with no emotions. She's actually a lot smarter than people give her credit for, yeah, she's gone mad and hears and sees stuff after her Games. But she's not dumb like most people think.

As we approach Snow's mansion, and I see a ton of peace keepers surrounding the perimeter, that makes me a little nervous. "Lets go to one of the shops and spend the night there. It's too dangerous to be outside at night here." I suggest to Annie, when we were in 13, one of the courses we had to take was identifying rebel friendly homes, if they had a wreath of the colors green and orange, we knew they were friendly and we could trust them for a place to sleep or some food if needed.

Annie and I decided that it would be safer if we were farther away from Snow's mansion. We walk along the outskirts of a town and walk up to a door that was the wreath of green and orange. It was a one story house made from bricks, and hopefully these people will be friendly. I take a deep breath and look back at Annie, she nods her head and I knock a few times. We wait until the door opens, it's a young women and man who open the door. They're not dressed up in all of that capitol makeup, but like the women who gave us shelter the first time, their eye liner was noticeable. I'm not sure how to start the conversation, "Um, your wreath on your door. You're loyal to the rebels?" I ask with my voice shaking because what if there are peace keepers in their house about ready to take over us.

"Yes, may we help you two?" The women asks me. She has blonde hair and olive skin with blue eyes. She can't be older than 25, and in a way she reminds me of Prim. I hear little feet run this way, no doubt that there is children in the house, two young girls run up to their mommy, I can assume they're twins, they look about the same age.

"We were wondering if we could have a place to stay for tonight?" I ask trying to sound as polite as possible. I look back behind my shoulder at Annie who is looking at the ground tracing something with her foot.

"Of course, come in come in. Before someone sees you." She says.

Annie and I walk into their house, it sort of reminds me of my house in the Victor's Village. The lady and man lead me through their house with their two toddler girls following at their heels. Near the end of the hallway is a carpet, the lady rolls up the carpet and underneath it is a trapdoor which I can only assume that is where we are going to stay. She opens the door, "You can stay in here, it's dark sorry. We'll come and get you tomorrow so you can continue your journey. We'll bring you down dinner later tonight." She tells me.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. We'll make sure you get some sort of award after this war is done." I tell her. She smiles and walks away leaving Annie and I to walk down in there, is this a cellar or a basement?

It's about eight feet high, it's a lot bigger than the other room we stayed in, but this is still small. There is no smell or special scent. There are a few cots already made with some pillows and clothes in a corner. "There's your cot Annie." I tell her.

She goes and sits down on it but to hide her face in her palms. I walk over to the bed and sit next to her, not to close. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

I can hear her crying slightly but trying to hide it. "Finnick can't die." She tells me.

"Don't worry, he won't die. I promise." I tell her and give her a reassuring smile.

"He can't, especially if he wants to meet his new baby."

Annie's pregnant? "You're pregnant?" I ask in disbelief.

"Yeah." I let that soak in, so Annie and Finnick are really going to have a kid. I'm happy for them, but I wonder if this kid will be a good thing for them. But even though Katniss never wanted kids, she is a natural with Briar. So maybe it would be the same as Annie. I imagine a kid that Annie and Finnick had, that kid would be beautiful. If they have a son, would Briar and their son date? I couldn't help but wander that.

**Sorry this is so short, we only wanted to do Peeta's POV on this chapter, but the next one should be up within the next few days. **


End file.
